So I Had A Chat With Myself Today And This Is What I Said............

My life is FAR from where I wish it to be on so many levels. Yet the journey I have taken thus far has also had its shares of ups and downs that have ultimately taught me more than I could have ever imagined! And the scary part is that there is much more yet to come! But you know what? Bring it on! The downs in life allow us to appreciate the ups..... The negative things we say and do very quickly become all consuming and influential so we have to accept that we reap what we sow and change this! Karma is very, very real and the law of attraction ensures that all we put out we will get back tenfold. Anyone that thinks that life should be a breeze needs a reality check! Life is the ultimate test of our spirit and we need to not just fly; we need to SOAR! Yes, storm clouds will gather and thunder, lightning and rain will fall. However even this too will clear and a rainbow in all its glory will descend upon us! Pain is the body's way of making sure that we realise that we are mortal and alive; trials and tribulations consistently put us to the test so that life energy and arguably God can also test us in parallel. We were born with free will and it is up to us how we choose to use it; we were born into a physical world and it is up to us how we choose to treat it; our bodies are but a mortal shell that contains the greater power of our spirit and it is up to us how we choose to maintain it..... The bottom line is that all we are and all we WILL become is the result of how we CHOOSE to become and be. Are you living? Or are you just waiting to die? We all need to ask ourselves this; accept that there is no randomness in this world and proactively seek personal answers and enlightenment on whatever level we can. This time around is a short time around when you consider the age of the universe. We need to recognise that who we are and what we do in this life is in perparation for the next! As they say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade! If life throws you a curve ball, SMACK it out of the park! As much as this sounds wonderful in theory; we should all at least TRY to be this way in practice as well! I wish you all the best!

awwwww a very good post and one I am thinking should be took to heart. To raise up better than we were. I for one can look back and see what I have over cae in the last year . anbd I thin to my self I took it in stride and handles it. We can only go forward cant do any thing about the passed .

lol..your post was just too long to read. But to answer your post, yes, I am learning to...and I've been able to look at my life objectively for around 10 years now. I know it might sound wierd....but I can put myself like an outsider and see my life as it is. Though I might react emotionally at times, I am later able to get out of it and see the situation for what it is. Yes, there are some people in my life who see me a certain ay (especially old friends)....but some family members realize how I have changed. I've also learnt how not to let EVERYTHING affect me. I find my life moving forward because I make it move forward. If I wished or didn't bother, I know I would be stuck in a time zone....but I didn't let that happen. I need to grow and I will make that happen. I learnt that everything I think or feel is ME and it's upto me to make changes and not expect anyone to help me out with it (not even family).

It's electric blue eyeshadow, not teal, thank you very much :P And the beehive thing was passed long before I was ever born. I have been called a duck because I let everything just roll off of my back. I have too much of my own craziness to live through everyday that I can't spare the time or energy to get involved in others insanity. On the rare occasions where my curiosity gets the better of me I sometimes ask about others craziness just to satisfy my "need to know" gene, but that is the extent of it. For more years than I can remember I have been the type of person who likes very few people and who doesn't even bother to try to care who likes me and who doesn't. It makes my insanity a little easier to deal with.

everyone has the abilities for change and growth, evolution and transcendence. you know that youve changed and learned over the years.. and thats really all that matters. those who know you now recognize the things within you that youve worked hard to achieve.. and those who still hold yer "sins" against you.. well.. its probably because they themselves do not learn from their own mistakes and therefore do not beleive anyone else can either. theyre inconsequential to yer existance really.. they simply do not matter in the grand scheme of things and life is far too short and ever changing to trouble yerself with those in it that stay in one place stagnated forever in their own narrowmindedness. breath, let go, and move on.. secure in the knowledge that you are not one of those people who cannot learn from their own experiences.

Although my daughter might disagree, since she is forever telling me the sixties are over, get a haircut, I have moved forward in my journey of Life. I've always been a tad off the track of normal (what a shock LOL). I do whatever makes me happy, so long as I am not hurting anyone else. I have no time zone, I am in the here and now and I enjoy myself

Oh my God, how'd you learn my secret?!?! I only started experimenting with eye make up, one of which happens to be teal shadow! But seriously, I've grown up a LOT in the last six years...and especially in the last few months! I'm getting even stronger emotionally, as well as seeing a potential light at the end of the tunnel. In 1998, I was finally able to tell others that I'd had an abortion (well, two)--something that my then husband made me ashamed of! I'm not proud of them, but if I hadn't had them, I'd have never had my daughter! I made my peace after that evening and I brought that to God for forgiveness. Its up to Him now. I'm currently learning how to live alone; I'm not a fan now, especially after four years. If anything, I'll learn about myself. I know how much I've changed; now its a matter of changing the perception of ME by others! I love your discussion--it made me quite reflective today!

Sorry Sis, late as usual! Something I have learned in my life is that no matter what happens I can become a stronger person for it. No matter the mistakes I have made, or the hurt inflicted on me by others, or the joys of friendship I have. Everything in life I do believe happens for a reason, and God doesn't put more on us than we can bear. (I do think that sometimes he needs to reevaluate the amount though lol) Life can be funny that way. And no worries if your past comes back to bite you (or even trys to) I will be there with the cage and the net to help you contain it. After all thats what friends are for right?

[i][/i]Hiya sparks! Beehive hairdos? Teal eyeshadow? Gee, what era are you speaking of? YUCK!! LMBO! I'm glad I wasn't in my teen years when that was going on but I do remember it when I was kid and good grief, what memories. lol Thanks for the wakeup on my brain on that time frame but I'd much rather forget. lol Ok, let's get serious for a moment. Yes, the past is just that, the past. No one can change what happened yesterday so why worry about it? No one is perfect, so why are we expected to be? Everybody has done something wrong in their lives, no one is immune to that fact. Ok, let's learn from it and move on. Lets let go of the past and live in hope of the future and maybe even become friends. Life IS too short. Ill feelings just doesn't fit in our short lives anywhere. At least not mine. I'm open minded and big hearted so I'm game if everyone else is. I can't do it alone either and need help so who wants to join us in this venture?!

Sure, Spark, there are definitely some time zones I'm stuck in - some I choose to be stuck in and some that others stick me into. Some people only see bits of my life, miss great big pieces of it, and they make all their judgements of me based on what they've seen in the past, with no knowledge of anything else that might have happened in my life, and I'm afraid I don't come off in a very positive light in their eyes, what with their filling in the blanks with their own fictionalized mental meanderings, but they can think what they want, I don't care. They don't count. Those who do count know what's gone on in all of those so-called "blanks" and they're the only ones who truly matter, although it's hard to take being so mischaracterized, it hurts, but not enough to do any damage - just enough to bother a bit. I'm a person who's usually liked by the people I meet, but sometimes, just sometimes, there's someone who takes an instant dislike to me, and vice versa. My personality is rather a force and some people make some instant assumptions about me and judge me in a negative light. Now, if those people ever bother to look any further, to see me in my interactions with others, to see something of what's in my heart, then they tend to change their minds about me and they actually do start to look further. Those people I give a chance to. What happens after that? Who knows? Depends on the person. But those who dismiss me and close their minds to me will never see the real me and don't deserve to. It's their loss. So be it. Now, on to the really serious part of this discussion, I'd like at this time to say that I'm an old hippie, yes, I've said it, an old hippie. I may not be your or anyone else's idea of what an old hippie is, but that's what I categorize myself as. I dress for myself, no one else. I like dresses, bohemian dresses, gypsy dresses, flower child dresses. But I'll wear pearls with them. I'm an eclectic when it comes to fashion and I wear what suits me at any given moment. Sometimes I go out with the barest minimum of makeup on, sometimes full glam, sometimes none. My hair is short and I prefer it messy. I wear 6 bracelets on my arm all the time, 4 silver, one leather and pearls, and one elephant hair. Earrings are standard issue with me - I'm almost never without them. I have lots of jewelry that I love to wear. Mind you - my hubs works in scrubs, and when not in them, he wears jeans and t-shirts, period. We're an odd pair, but we fit. My time zone agrees with me; I feel comfortable where I am. I've brought myself into the 21st century though, as you can see by my simply being here. And hey, last weekend, I bought a scanner/copier/printer at a yard sale and I need a couple of things for it, but I think that when I get those things, it's gonna work and help me go even further into that century. So I'm balanced, sort of. At least it's a balance. Could be worse. These days, I've got lots in my life that's making it hard to function as I had been, both physically and emotionally, but I'm doing my best to keep my head above water. I have so many of you here on the Lot that I depend on for my salvation, my tenuous grasp on sanity, and the opportunity to exercise what humor I have in me, and thank deity for that, because without humor, I couldn't survive. So sometimes I have to force myself to come to this computer, but on the occasion that I do, I'm always glad I did and I'm always lifted to one degree or another by doing so. I do what I need to do to strike yet another balance in my life, as we all do. It's all about balance, if you ask me. And I don't care who knows when I've lost it and what happened to help me regain it, and what kicked the rug out from under me again and made me lose that balance a g a i n, but you'll know, and so will a few others here. The rest? The rest can do as they please - they can dismiss me or they can look further into my eyes. It's their choice. No matter what they decide, I'm still happy, at least for the most part, I'm still who I am, and none of their opinions can change that an iota. And that's good enough for me. Wow, this was great, being able to talk like this and you know that that's what I've been doing too, of course, because you know that that's how I write. Cool. Thanks, Sparky. Keep on truckin, darlin.

You should become a writer, your post is wonderful and so true, all of us can relate to what you've said, you have a great way of writing that touches people, i enjoy your posts, i feel your a true people

Few people on here know more about me than you Sparky. Keep treating me like I am 12 and things will be just peachy! Is this beehive hairdo not supposed to go with my plaid suit then?!! LOL.

I promise you I don't comb my hair over my bald spot & I don't wear plaid suits. YES I've made many changes to overcome the poo poo life dumped on me. Mothers just cannot help but treat us like we're 12. Actually I'd love to make it to 12 Just be you as I love you JUST LIKE YOU ARE!!!

wow!!!!! Do you really expect on-liners to read all of that... well I read A lil Bit... Life has its own journey, presupposes its own change and movement which makes it pretty hard for us humans to adapt to sometimes fm: prettiesophie later!

Like you I have learned to swim under water and breathe and always come back again it might take its time but I get back up top in the end, Trial and Error have been a big part of my Life but as the years go in it seems it gets easier to come out at the top I know there is more to come my Way no doubt but I will battle on as I have always done

AMEN! It's been a long time coming but I think I'm finally figuring it all out. I won't let others views of me distort my view of myself. I try to stay grounded and now am growing my relationship with God and in faith. For many.. they probably wouldn't believe it, but.. it's true! I've even recently been asked to become the Godmother of my friends 2 children.. what an honor! You have very sound advice.

Hi sparks, What a great time with you with yourself..Sometimes, with this busy routine and life, we failed to find time, I mean I failed to find time to recall and reflect! Anyway, I had trials in life but I always consider it as blessings...It was not a burden since I have a very supportive family around me all the time who are there to push me when I am about to turn back and who are there to cheer me up! So, basically, I was able to hanle and surpass all of those and still trying to live life happily even if it's not a smooth road...it's challenging though~

Aw come on...aint nuttin better than a plaid suit...maye lime green?? just kiddin...maybe Most days I am able to swim, some days I take on a little water, other days I get a glimps of the sun. Unfortunately, I have still not learned to fly. But I have a lot of years ahead of me and I aint givin up yet!!!! Its friends and people like you that give those like me hope and inspiration for the future.

Hi sparky, What a life you have led and that is why you are your own person now and take no nonsences from any one and that is why I admire you. I have always been put down by people almost of being bullied and never had any self esteem, I was always inscured in my life and very shy. I thought everybody was more clever then me even in school I've suffered but that was the norm for me as I grew up I learned how to fight my corner but I was painfully shy I rather listen to people then to conversed with them, then gradually I was like a crystlist turning into a butterfly and now I spiritual healing and became a spitit medium and hve to stand on the platform and do reading in from of a lot of people but I'm still a nervous reck when I'm standing there. Tamara

Oh my goodness! That last question is hilarious, Sparks! Yes, I understand what you mean. I have always understood that history repeats itself, but if you recognize this, it is easier to know what part of that particular history you want to resurface. I myself have many so-called skeletons, and there are many people on a day to day basis with whom I share none of this with, but if I feel I need to make a connection with someone in order to enlighten them in some way, I do share it, whether I know them well or not. I also feel that if someone asks me an honest question, that person deserves an honest answer. It keeps me grounded and humble. I used to be much more arrogant, but I have grown to realize that everyone knows exactly what they need to know, and everyone makes mistakes. What counts is whether or not I learn from my mistakes. I do not easily forget things. I have never even been so drunk that I didn't remember what happened the next morning. I try to live my life with eyes wide open, so that I learn not only from my own past, but from the pasts of others. That is also important I think. I have a friend who recently admitted to being a pack rat of sentimental things (i.e. letters, jewelry, clothes from other people, even tattoos), and she said that all she remembers when she looks at these materials is the goodness in the other person, no matter if the relationship ended badly, or if the other person treated her with no regard. She says she keeps these things not to hold on to the past, but to accept that it is in the past. What I don't understand, though, is that she claims to only remember the good things, and I know this is true because I have reminded her of horrible things that certain people have done to her that she claimed to not remember. I just don't understand how someone can live life like this because I see her continue to make the same mistakes over and over again, but I can't do a thing about it. It saddens me, but more so it maddens me. Yes, the only way to live your life to its fullest is to recognize your faults, remember your regrets, and understand why they were regrets, and then, and only then, will you be able to learn and grow and become a better person. I am not saying that my friend is not a good person; otherwise, she would not be my friend. What I'm saying is that I see her growing, but then she always goes back to square one and stunts her growth. Well, I hope all of this was cohesive, because it's a little late, and I don't really feel like previewing my response, so I apologize in advance for any typos I may have made, and if anything needs clarifying, a further explanation is only a question away.