How to heal from break up?

@goretz (72)
Malaysia
August 17, 2008 7:36pm CST
I just got dumped. Three years are nothing compared to nine, ten years of being together, but still it hurts like hell. I didn't check through the whole discussions whether this question has already been asked or not-I just need to ask or ask again. How the hell a person heals from a break up? Thank you very much.
2 people like this
7 responses
• Indonesia
18 Aug 08
Just share your story to your bestfriend or your parents. Just keeping it by yourselves will not solve the problem. But anyway, you have shared this story to us here in myLot. What I am saying is openly share the story with them, share the details, share your feeling; and I am sure they will comfort you. I don't know about you much and don't know about your spiritual relationship but for me, sharing my feeling to GOD through prayer comfort me the most.
1 person likes this
@goretz (72)
• Malaysia
18 Aug 08
Thank you. I didn't actually share the whole thing, did I? I'm just asking for advises, thats all. Do you actually believe turning to God will make everything ok? Have you been in a situation like this yourself then? Having faith is difficult right now, well, at least that is what I feel. :(
@goretz (72)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 08
Thank you again. And I admire your faith in God. Mine certainly isn't as strong as yours, maybe once but not now. I guess I am like one of his disciple who would not believe until he sees it. Seeing is believing, is what I hold onto I guess. Well, life is what we make out of it.
• Indonesia
19 Aug 08
Of course, I experienced it before, otherwise I would not give you the suggestion. Talking to GOD is not just to make you feel well, it's more than that. In your prayer, it's not just one-way communication, but two-way communication. HE will comfort you, clear your mind, and put an answer to your heart. Of course, HE demand an obedience from you to follow HIS instruction to heal your broken heart, this is the hard part but if you can win it, you will win the battle and rise again to live as before.
1 person likes this
@n30wing (4767)
• Philippines
18 Aug 08
It's ok! Cool down girl!I do understand you what you feel. I think your not the only one who was dumped after so long of relationship. Still it's not the end of the world. You still have a life to go on. It's how to heal it that's a problem! It takes time to move on. Life is so simple. Having pains and hurts makes you a better person it makes you stronger. It is better to feel love then not having feel love at all. Just forget everything make yourself prove that it's his lost not yours. You still deserve someone better then him. Life is a journey you make your life as long as you exist. Their is always a reason to it why behind it maybe even that relationship was years it was not really meant for you. In love you don't ask for a return. Go out and spread your wings and just fly! Count the blessings that you have. You can't have everything it this world just be contented with what you have now. Nothing stays permanent just yourself. Have a nice day! God loves you!
@goretz (72)
• Malaysia
19 Aug 08
I know that song ~ God will make a way, where there seems to be no way, He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me ~ Thank you very much. I guess all is not lost. It is just a guy after all. *sigh*
@goretz (72)
• Malaysia
18 Aug 08
Thank you. You are right, it takes time to heal, to move on. I know that eventually life goes on. I would really like to feel that its his lost and not mine. Really I do. But he is such a good man. Don't know where it went wrong. No matter what people say about moving on, I seem to cannot accept it now. Maybe I need to hear it again and again until it sets down deep inside my brain.
@n30wing (4767)
• Philippines
19 Aug 08
It's just up to you. You make your own life. I know it's not that easy. It takes time. Life is so beautiful. Don't embrace the pains and the hurts. Their are good memories that was left behind but that is all we treasure. Time will tell. Their are reasons that we can't accept but we learn from this pain. We became stronger.If it's really for you it was really meant for you no matter what had happened. I think for now you should think and love yourself first. Try to move on. Have a nice morning!God is Good! God will make a way!
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
18 Aug 08
I think there is no quick written remedy for that. But try to think positive. may be that guy was not suitable for you at all. you deserve someone better. try to engage in activities that make you happy.
1 person likes this
@goretz (72)
• Malaysia
18 Aug 08
Thank you. Deserve someone better? Its funny actually when I think back about it. When a girl loves a guy, she accepts him as what he is. And so did I, I think I still do. I accept him for all his weaknesses and I actually told him so only to be rejected in the end. How ironic.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
18 Aug 08
Hi goretz, [i]The pain is normal and it will help you become more stronger..It take time to heal but do not just stay in one corner and be sad all the time! Go out with friends, play your favorite sports, pamper yourself and also spend more time with family! In that way, you have no idle time that will make you feel more lonely, you can't control that from time to time, you will think about him but just remember, you will meet someone better than him![/i]
1 person likes this
@goretz (72)
• Malaysia
18 Aug 08
Thank you. But as what I have mentioned, he's the only real friend I have had. My life revolves around him, my happy and sad times were with him, it is really hard to let go. And my family is no where near me. When do we know things are really over for real? I mean, can there still be hope?
1 person likes this
@goretz (72)
• Malaysia
26 Aug 08
Its hard to tell. Even if he does do something, things will not be the same ~ ever. Hard to find true love these days!
• United States
18 Aug 08
T[i]hat is sad...No other friends? ANyway, i guess there is still hope when he will show some interest still to solve your problems but if he is not doing anything, time to move on and forget him![/i]
1 person likes this
@Samanthavv (1380)
• United States
18 Aug 08
It happens. The only thing you can really do is give yourself time and space to grieve but also remember not to completely ocus on the breakup. Take a new class, go places, start working out. Make post-breakup resolutions and focus on accomplishing those goal. :D
@goretz (72)
• Malaysia
18 Aug 08
Thank you. But what kind of resolutions and goals you mean there? As far as I am concerned, I already have everything that matters including one guy I thought I will be sharing my whole life with. What a disaster.
@skaterx (530)
• Finland
18 Aug 08
It's pretty hard. I think its also about working out your own life, working out yourself. Like if you did everything right, and was a good partner, then I think there's no special thing you have to do, and just gotta move on. But sometimes I ask myself if i've been good all the time to my partner. And so i use it as a chance to reevaluate myself and make sure im a better person. It's hard I know, but yeah everyone makes mistakes. You can try your best, but we can still fail sometimes. Life i a bit like that. I guess you will feel happier hanging out with friends, and maybe meeting new people, but yeah it always hurts breaking up with someone you loved.
1 person likes this
@goretz (72)
• Malaysia
18 Aug 08
Thank you. It is hard indeed. I was trying to do everything for him, please him, fixing everything for him. I guess he's kinda take it for granted and maybe even became bored with me. It is so unfair.
@zeny_zion (1283)
• Philippines
18 Aug 08
enjoy life with friends. go on with your life. busy yourself with anything that will help yourself improve. cause if you live with your life with your past nothing will happen to you. there are a lot of guy all around you. you might find the right one.
1 person likes this
@goretz (72)
• Malaysia
18 Aug 08
Thank you. He's the only real friend I have. And it is almost impossible not to do stuffs without remembering him. I have desire to move on but everytime I want to start, everything seems to crumble. Is there any trick to do this?