Do You Hate The Person That Harm Or Hurted You In Past ?Whats the wayout ?

I had a very close friend who slept with my boyfriend, she was living with me at the time as she had nowhere else to go! Her betrayal hurt way more than that of any man could have done! I don't hate her though. What she did was wrong and I'm sure she realises that, she behaved in a disgusting way and can't feel good about it, whereas i behaved like a lady throughout, even when i found them in MY bed together i didn't shout and scream i just asked them both to leave calmly. So i think i avoid feeling of hatred by knowing that she behaved basely and i behaved like a lady and can hold my head high! It is difficult when somebody hurts you badly though, but maintaining feelings of anger and resentment hurts you more than it does them. xxx

hai ganesh .. how are your today ..well i guess your memories are putting you in bad shape .. Do not let all this people hurt you as you are being put through test by god.. He wants to see how patient his child is .. all this people that hurt you are actually his tools to see how good you are. i have gone trhough hell and the people who put me through hell is still around me and do give me hells once in a while ... Yes we do suffer at that minute, maybe the 10 minute or 1 day we are around them .. But maybe the next second your life is of pure goodness, enjoy that second and cheerish it. Believe me what they do will not fade away from your mind, you will have that tendencies to revenge them, but what different are you from them .. and you have failed your test .. Just believe in God he has plans for everyone , even the ones who hurt you .. when you go to heaven and see them at hell you can then laugh at them

Ganesh, The way to overcome the memory of people who have hurt you in the past is to get your life going again, without dwelling too much into your past. The more you think about it the deeper the pain. Rather find something intereting to do, keep your life motivated and the pain will slowly but surely disappear.

it is really difficult not to hate the person who hurted you but for your peace of mind and for your better health ,it is always good to forgive the person.

Hi Ganesha44, I am sorry you had to go through that in your life but we have move forward and not let that person keep hurting becausse that person has gone and may not even remember you but you must let go and make a good life for yourself, I had someone who hurt me but time heals and I am alright now. Tamara

I do remember the people who have hurt me in the past. I know it sounds easier than it is, but I grow from those experiences. Yes, it does hurt as things happen during that time. But when I look back at my life and see the person I have become, I thank them. I have never had anything handed to me. Everything was earned through hard work and determination. If it were not for those people, I would not have the tough skin that I have for certain situations. Also, I tend to not take things so personal at times anymore. You live this life how you want to live it. You do the things that make you happy. If anyone has hurt you in the past, it is because they are jealous of your achievements. If there are people who hurt you in the future, it is because they want to stop you from achieving. There should be nothing that stops you from being happy and doing what you love. Soemtimes people come into our life and stay there. Some come into our life for a short period of time. I believe that you meet everyone for a reason. Maybe it is to help you through a situation. Maybe they make you a stronger person, or maybe they are there because you were meant to help them.

I'd venture to say we've all been there, done that. I have a list a mile long of people that have hurt me when all I did was be kind to them. Took advantage of my kindness, my talents, of me and the list goes on. However, I believe it God and he says we have to forgive. Easier said than done, however here is how I learned to forgive and move on. My inlaws were horrible to me and my family. Even their own son. I "worked" for 15 years trying to make peace amongest them all, even to get them to like me! It was so horrible the things they'd do to me, to my kids, in front of my kids, in front of others to degrade me... don't get me started on it all. ANd for no reason other than she (MIL) just didnt like me - never did know why! ANd there were problems with my side of the family - not like this just normal things happeneing and all. ALl familys h ave problems to a point. Anyway, after years of trying to keep it all together nad taking the pain so others would be happy, I ended up with an ulcer. Yes, a hole in my stomach that caused so much pain I thought I'd die. It was then that if finally hit me, or I prefer to believe that God finally hit me and said "you don't have to keep the peace. You do the right things and you wil be fine. You don't have to do all the right things for everyone else. They have to do their own right things". I went to talk to my pastor and he said "the Lord said you have to forgive, but he didn't say you have to keep going back for more". That was the beginning of the end and the beginning of new life for me. I told them all what needed to be said and they I just left them all to fight it out or whatever they did. It also made me realize - "why am I working so hard to get someone to like me?" They can like me or not like me - their choice and I refused to let it bother me. I had my kids and they needed me and loved me and that is all I needed. I am me and if I am not good enough for you, please, you are welcome to go find someone else!!! Sounds easy and in a way it is, it just took so much time and pain for me to come to that result. I look back often and think "why'd you let them destroy you like that?" I never have an answer! I just know that I don't have health problems cause of them and I am happier and I am not going there again. I can make my kids happy and they are appreciative. Don't need any more than that! It gets easier and easier to say when the time comes, "don't like me, fine, no prob Bob! go find someone you do like. All I want is for you to be happy! I sure as heck ain't gonna try to change your mind!" Has been working very well for years now!

When someone hurts me I am not able to forget easily. In fact I do have memories of the past when I have been hurt by people. I find it very difficult to forget some incidences.

Do we have to leave everthing to God? Can't we be strong enough and have enough guts to deal with some stuff on our own? (One of my bigger gripes!)And, yes, I certainly do remember several people in my life that hurt me or caused my harm.I was bitter and hurt for a time and then I moved on. I think it is abnormal not to feel hurt, even hatred. And to just give it to god, is that supposed to teach us anything? Just to be weak and let someone take on our problems.

I think all of us had this in their lives. But I found a way to manage this people that gives me total control and the formula is this: I believe whatever you do here good or bad you will get back, so I just let them be with themselves and I garantee you will hear soon or later what happened to them, it is a downward in life that they do not even know where to come up again. Be strong!

I would like to tell you something. Hanging on to these past pains and hurts of yours can be hard to get over. I am one with the experience of all of that. There are some things that I can let go and some that I have trouble forgetting about. What is best for us as the feeling of emotions people that we are is try to forgive as best as we can. It might be hard to forget but we need to think of the present blessings that we have and the people who are good to us. That will help us to move forward. Good luck, my dear.

Forgive and forget...a very famous line right? although most of those who did some bad things to us are not easy to forgive and to forget, we got to let go of the past for us to move on and face the future..well, just believe in karma...all will have what they deserve. Forgive those who have hurt you in the past, and let go of all your hatred...but we should never forget the things they did for us to learn and for us not to experience it again. :)

It is true what you say. Having been hurt and move on is one of the most difficult things to do in life. Yet it is so important that we learn to. I guess that one way yo overcome it is learning to forgive. Probably the one who hurt you was having his or her own problems and you (or me, or any of us) were the one he took it on. It is really really hard to accept, but trying to see them as only humans (instead of evil creatures who hurt me) is the first step. Then time. TIME. Be patient and forgiveness will eventually come if you really want it, if you express your intention to forgive. I have been hurt and felt hatred towards some people in my life. And I only got over that with time and acceptance and forgiveness. We're all just humans...