how do you discipline you child?

Discipline is hard, and everyone has different opinions on how to do it. What I do is start out with the smallest consequence - that is to say, I try the least severe punishment first. If that gets the message across, that's great, because I never have to go further. If it doesn't work, I take the next step in what I find acceptable. With my kids, we usually have time outs, followed by a conversation about what they did and why it was wrong. I do occasionally spank them, no more than one or two swats on the behind with my hand (if you use your hand, it hurts you too, and you're not likely to go overboard), but they have to do something REALLY terrible for that. I'd say I spank them less than once a month. And after a spanking, we still talk about what they did and why it was wrong - that conversation is key to getting a child to understand. I have REALLY well behaved children. They are happy, healthy, and well adjusted, with great manners. I get compliments on them all the time, and as a mother, there's nothing better than that.

I agree about it being hard to be a mother. My daughter is 22 months and has hit the stage where there are some tantrums although they could be worse.She is also very independent she knows what she wants and doesn't want. I think I am doing okay so far, unfortunately she has a temper streak and impatient (like most kids)- like me and at times we clash, but I am trying to teach her that waitiing for something isn't a bad thing and that you can't always get what you want when you want it. It is teaching me to be more patient (although at times I do have to walk away and leave her to it until she has calmed down).She goes off on her own when she is not getting her own way and after a while starts to play with toys or books and comes and gets me when she is ready. I am totally normal with her until I am sure she is calm enough then I explain what the situation that caused this outburst was all about. She is learning about tidying up and that she will not get what she wants until she has compromised and given me something I want - like eating some of her tea before she watches tv or plays.It is slowly sinking in, but I don't think we really know for definite what has sunk in until they are older, you just have to hope and know you have done you best. As long as you show your child a lot of love and caring and understading and let them have the freedom they can cope with at each stage of their lives so they feel that you trust them the rest will fall into place - hopefully!!

Every mom wants the best for their children. Every mom wants to see their children grows and become good person. The hardest thing is how to practice them to be good. There are a lot of influences outside especially at school. They can purely practice the good thing at home but not at school. So I always told my children that if you hear or saw the bad thing done by your friend at school, you can hear or see with your left ear or eye and let it out through your right ear or eye. It mean that don't try to do it. So far my children have shows their good behaviour.

In our house, we start with time outs. My children have to have repeatedly done something very wrong, or something dangerous to warrant a few swats on the behind. (For example, how many times have we told our kids to stop jumping on the bed? At least 1000. Finally, they broke through the wood slats in the bottom because they were too old to be jumping. That warranted a spanking.) I find that middle ground would be taking away pizza and a movie night for my kids. They aren't allowed have all the stuff most kids have. Video games, watching TV whenever they want etc. Not because we can't afford it, but because I refuse to raise my kids to be electronic zombies. They are allowed watch TV once a week on Friday night. They get to sit and watch TV and eat Pizza. Taking this away is pretty severe punishment for them.

I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old that I currently stay home with and even though they are young at this point, the thought has often crossed my mind. I try my best to instill good morals and standards into my children by teaching by example. I believe that if you righteously teach a child up in the way they should live, they will never depart from it. While I do believe that society has a great influence, (whether that be for good or for bad) on my kids, I hope that my great influence on my children would override that of the world's, so that they would be able to distinguish between good and the bad and make choices based upon that. I think so far I have done a great job, I am not perfect by any means, but I'm not one to live by the "Do as I say, Not as I do" scenerio. Chances are, My kids won't care to smoke because they don't see me do it. They won't care or see the need to curse because they know we don't speak that way here in our home. Same goes with smoking and so forth. Children's earliest and most biggest influences are first and foremost their parents and the most life structuring events happen inside the home. I say the family unit is the most important of anything when it comes to raising a good child. :)

being a mom is the hardest job i have ever had, you can never know if what your doing is right until your son/daughter grows up. i'm trying to be as understandable as i can be for my 4 year old but sometimes irritation and frustration gets the better of me. i can't say if what i'm doing is good but i sure as hell hope so.

i do time outs when they do something wrong. usually 1 min for each year they are. so my 7 year old gets 7 and the two year old gets 2 mins. and if it continues they will loose a toy they were playing with. sometimes i spank them but its only a tap on the butt once. i dont slap in the face or beat them. my youngest i do tap her hand when she hits her sister or us.

It isn't easy, that is for sure. I have always used time out. If that doesn't work, I would take things away from my kids like tv time or computer. I thought I did a good job with my kids until my son was 13 and started hanging out with the wrong kids. He ended up getting in trouble with the police and I finally put my foot down and told him that summer he was not allowed to do anything but get a job, work and stay home. This actually worked, because after this, he turned out to be a great kid!

I agree with you Plumfrance, I do understand how challenging that can be. However, it is also very rewarding, which I am sure you would agree. I am not the disciplinarian in our family, my husband is. When my daughter was about 2 years another mom introduced me to a really good book; "1-2-3 Magic: Effective discipline for children 2 to 12." It teaches you how to discipline your child(ren) lovingly and still maintain your power as a parent, and of course your sanity (*smiles*). It has been a good guide for me. I give my daughter time outs and I take her toys or something that is important to her, when she is not at her best. Most importantly I communicate with her about what she does right and what she doesn't do right. I am always communicating to create some degree of understanding between us. I don't think that it is okay or even logical to have expectations of our children and not communicate those expectations with them. They may not completely understand at this age, however, if we communicate in a way which they can understand and we are consistent about it; I am confident that our children will be relatively close to the people we want them to be. It may not seem to kick in right away, however we have to be consistent and our will needs to be stronger than theirs. I am not saying to break your child's will; I don't believe in that. I believe it's important to stay in harmony with who they genuinely are. However, it's about letting them know that if you tell them they cannot have ice cream at breakfast time; crying and throwing tantrums is not going to convince you to do otherwise.