breaking up- why does it hurt so bad.....

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It seems that my girlfriend and I have come to the end of our road. It seems that all we do is fuss and fight, and the bad part we fight about trivial things. For example, the dishes my girl insists that there is a right way, her way to do dishes and that's the they have to be done. I can't satnd doing dishes, I hate it it is a waste of time and we don't have a dishwasher. Out of my love for her I do them, but to her, if they are not done "COORRECTLY," to her they are not done. If anything that isn't done "CORRECTLY," to her they are not done. That leads to us to arguing and can ruin a day and also leads to name calling from both of us. Yes I made a mistake, never call a woman the 'C' word. All the fighting has lead to other fights about nothing, we cannot communicate, I suggested counsling, I lost that battle. We agreed to break up. What does that do? I say we just seperate and go our seperate ways. I expressed my feelings and she just said I am mad. I said no I hurt, the less I see you the easier it is to move on, not to mention I see her on a daily basis. Why do women say you never open up, than when you do, they tell you how you feel. The fact is we have a great relationship, if we went to counsiling we would make it through this tough time... I don't want her to go and I don't want her to be unhappy...I have lost another battle, can someone tell me why it hurts soo #$%^&*@#$ bad.