Do you 'Measure' your successs comparing it with others?

Hi Subha12 If you are comparing yourself to someone else are you taking everything into account. for example you may have lots more commitments than your friend. They may go home and only do more work whereas you may have other interests that you are also good at, or that keep you balanced. You may spend time with family after work, and even have to do things for people in your family, and the other person may only be focussed on themselves and their career. This may or may not be the case, but if you are comparing yourself with others, don't just look at their success in the job, look at everything you both do - does your friend do everything else you do? Or is this the only thing they are more successful in? Is your work the most important thing to you? There is a term, in psychology called "self actualiser" - it is someone who is successful in their own mind, happy doing what they are doing regardless of how they measure up in other people's views. I think it would be great to be like this - but I know it can be hard as others put pressure on us to compete all the time. That is why I like things like yoga as they are non competitive. Also, have you read the alchemist? About a young shepherd boy who was happy at the beginning because he just wanted to travel, even if it was just walking around with goats - even if his parents didn't think too much of his career!

In my opinion,Although I haven't gotten any job,but I think we should always compare with others who are in the same standard,if we have no reference substance,we will lose the chance to improvement

No I don't. I measure my success by reflecting on what I am now and what I am before. if I find myself stuck in the same way and mentality 5 years ago... then I know Im not going anywhere. If I see myself a lot better than before, then I know I succeed. I don't compare myself to anyone, because I know that nobody travel exactly the same path as I do... so no comparison will be fair if I do it with other people. I consider myself as my ally and my critic at the same time. It improves me more.

Hi subba12, Your success has nothing to do with another and should not be measured that way.We are all different and have different talents and different ways of doing things. Compare yourself with how you were a year ago or two years ago. Constantly try to improve yourself. Always be happy for others when they do well. Congratulate them and really mean it. Blessings.

i admit i do measure or compare my success to other people success. when i see that other people are more successful in life that i try to do more so that i will be more successful in life. and sometimes i really don't want to be more successful in life when i don't see other people success. and in a way it is really a positive thing that i measure myself to others cause that really gives me a drive to go in life.

hmmm i used to never think about my crew salaries but i really care about the stage that we reach it in the same period in our work cause this is reveal how much i'm an active person there and how much my activities got approved from our moderators and other members in my work. have a nice time subha and happy posts .

before seeing any other replies given to you I would like to question you whether you feel happy when you compare the success with other or not? Happy means the happiness from within.DO you feel that?If you can listen to your consciousness and always clear about your vision then you can smell the difference my dear... My suggestion from my life's experience - stop comparing with anybody in this world till your last minute, because you born unique and deliver to this world uniquely.. Everybody has his own potential, question lies only how will you know your strengths and weaknesses.

I agree... we should not compare our success and failure by comparing the situation with others... because we all have different goals in life... and aside for that... situations change... and what we consider success may not be the case in others...

Yes, I do. It is a pity that sometimes it is unfair. For example, boss like to pay more attention to boys in town though they do the same thing like girls. They always get the reward. Their salary are higher though they are not better compared to girls. Gender discrimination is still a secrious problem here. Girls don't mean to comapre. However, it is really hard to stand the injustice.

I can't help but to compare my progress with others. When I went to a big company. We would pay attention to who would get promotion first, who would travel to a big city on business, who could marry with a beatiful girl. And the smallest difference will make us happy or not.

I think we could always compare in the positive ways of course. Taking what seems good and leaving what it seems bad. The point of comparation actually to make you a better person than you are before,in this case as a professional worker :)

the way I measure success is only through me and what I have accomplished. Even when it comes to working at a fast food restaurant or something like that. I do look at people when it comes deep down because I feel everyone does, but I dont feel bad or guilty for my success or lack there of when it comes down to it. I only look at myself and the situations I am in at that moment. For example, I was working at BK making $6.50 an hour. I worked my butt off for that company. I felt successful though because I was taking care of my mom at the time because she was very sick and we had just moved to the area. Now someone could have walked into BK and thought "this girl is going no where in life working at a job like this" but I knew in my heart that i was doing it just to get started in a new area and to help my mom get better. Thats what I call successful!

Comparing yourself to the accomplishments of others is not at all wrong. Just do it also in moderation. Also, you must not feel bad if you are lagging behind. Comparing helps especially to motivate you to work harder and give more of your efforts. But if you compare and then you sulk about it, better resort to not comparing at all. Comparing gives both positive and negative effects. It is up to one's own will where he will stand, the + or - side. You know yourself and knowing your limitations would surely help you achieve what your mind and body can achieve.

I think we all measure or compare success with those we perceive as successful. I guess that's just something that is normal within us all. I think the key is to use it as a ruler but not be so focused on what we think success is and then we can truly be successful. It is good to have goals and challenge ourselves to be the best we can be. I don't see anything wrong with that. But I believe it is when we focus more on those things instead of our character, well that's when we become less successful. Maybe we will have more stuff, but we have lost ourselves in aquiring the stuff. I'm not opposed to moving up the ladder, or having all the things we dream of, we just have to be smart about it.

Sometimes I have a tendency to compare myself to others...especially if they are excelling in a particuliar area that I want to excel in. But I have to remind myself....their path to success is not my path! I have to work on me...making myself better. Their success is not mine and mine not theirs. We have to just focus on our goals, achieving them and making the most out of what we have. If you feel they are getting more however doing the same as you are then bring that up...but if you noticed that you could be doing better..then step up your game!!

Hi subha, I can't stop to compare and I know it's not healthy especially if my batch mate or friends are more successful that what I have achieved academically and career wise but, I will withdraw right away and motivate myself to see it in a positive view!

Another good topic, Subha.. Comparison i hate, we live a life for us and not for others.. As i don't like the fast paced life, i love to be in the inert mode and show more stubborn resistance to any changes in my life..Any disruption of routine i don't like to have.. In short i am always contented with what i have, never look at others, and to be specific never care about the achievement and feet of others.

I think everyone does that. It's normal to compare your situation to someone if the things that are happening to you in present are unbearable for you. Like me, before I got a work that has a higher income compared to other of my batchmate. But when I saw one of my batchmate who has a farther gain than mine, I can't help to think that I'm being left behind.

yes, i "measure" my "success"comparing with others.iknow it's not good and it leads to jealousy,which is very dangerous if you dont make good use of it.as far as i am concerned, i havnt make any great success in my job,i dont know exactly how my former classmates do.i can clearly see that a few friends of mine lead a better life than i do, i mean from my point of view.they have better job and they make more money.ok,that's not the real thing i envy.actually ,i set my own goals and make effort to be better in every way than before.but i still compare myself with others,especially the friends around me in essence.this kind of comparation,i think,urges me to work harder towards my goals. in one word,it's not a total bad thing if you measure your success with others,except it brings you harm. good luck!

I think it's fine to measure your success compared to that of others, so long as it takes all aspects into account. So a doctor and an electrician wouldn't be comparable, but even in similar fields, not all jobs are the same. For example, in my husband's office, there are two paralegals--one for the biological side and one for the chemical side. The biological paralegal carries more than double the number of files than the chemical, so it's only logical that she makes more money, even though the aspects of the job are the same. So just be careful that you're truly comparing like situations before drawing your conclusion.