How do you trust again after you've been hurt so badly???

Remeber that what happened in the past, is the past, it needs to be left in the past, but in order to move on from that past, i think you need to come to terms with what happened to you. Accept that what happened, yes it wasn't right, it shouldn't have happened, but it happened. It was not your fault, you cannot control what another person does, but that was that person, a seperate individual than who you are with today, and everyone is different, what one person does, another may not ever even contemplate doing.

I was in a relationship where my EX was unfaithful. When I left him I took some time before I entered another relationship. It took time to realize that all men weren't unfaithful and in fact there are some pretty good guys out there. It will get easier for you to trust again just be paitent. It will come. Maybe some therapy will help you and you can get him involved as well. It's worth a shot. Good luck, Becca

Mine has an ex as well they were married for 12 years and have 3 kids together. Him and I have been married 9 years and he has to deal with her still because they have one more child that he pays child support for because she is still in school and under age. At first it was hard for me when she would call and we were all the way in California and she was in SC. When we made our first visit to SC about 5 months after we were married we were at his mom and dads and she called to have him come see the kids and then once come change light bulbs. Drove me nuts. We discussed it calmly. Thing is even though it is hard you need to just remain calm. If he didn't love you or want to be with you he wouldn't be there. I can understand sorta about the failed marriage from just my husband talking about it and my aunt had one and couple other people. Insecurities. I mean I didn't have a bad marriage he is my first but I was insecure because there is an ex. It will go away in time just have to remember don't freak but address things calmly. I got to thinkin if I keep freakin out I'll drive him away and be an ex myself. You have to think how would you feel if someone nagged or freaked on you all the time? Look at him as your bandaid that God sent to heal you. I believe people are brought into our lives for a reason. You count to 10 slowly before you react...hehe

I'm so sorry to hear that and I guess it would be a normal reaction to be very untrustful of others. Just curious, how long have you been together? I guess the best way not to over-react is to tell yourself that it shouldn't be that way. Change can only start with you. Help yourself by trusting him little by little. Once you're settled in your relationship, it won't be hard to trust him anymore. We all will get hurt by our loved ones... that is a given fact. There are times when my fiance hurts my feelings and vice versa but the solution we've always stuck to is this: keep an open line of communication. If there's something that bothers me or if he has a friend who happens to be a girl and one that I don't really "trust", I'd tell him and he understands. On his part, he tries to avoid the things or people that I would get uncomfortable with. Same is true with me. That's why being honest to each other is very important.

i guess you've never moved on from the hurt feelings from the first marriage... sometimes you just have to take the risk and most of the time it's really worth it... give yourself and your man a chance ok

The first thing to remember is that you WERE in a bad marriage and arent now. The best way to not get hurt is to not allow yourself to! Make the most of every day that you have together and try to focus on the positive signs rather than always look for the negative ones. We will always find something bad or believe there is something bad if we look hard enough and our minds end up creating things that are not evern there. You says he is a good man yes? See him and treat him for what he is rather than what you think he might become or do. If you keep expecting to get hurt you WILL end up hurt cos you will attract this. Open your heart and your mind and only get funny about things if they are 100% in your face as true. I hope I made sense! Good luck to you and God bless.

you can simply try to forget that someone has hurt you and that the new person is not the same person that betrayed your trust. slowly try to be rational and think of the good things and the positive things that points in the direction why you should trust this person and not other wise.

I find it easy to trust again, because I know that not everyone is the same, so just because one or two people let me down, that does not mean that the other six million people in the world are going to do the same thing.

You are lucky if the man behind you is faithfully and he reassure that he is faithful to you. Is he getting some thing from you, is he benefited by any means when he meet you with respect and devote his time with u, or is he dependent on you in some special thing. If not he is emotionally attached with you from the core of his heart. For how long he is with you please I will tell you more.

You have to trust him you know you will never be sure unless you risk it. Many say that if someone afraid to fall inlove because there is a possible to hurt you, you cannot see it unless you didn't try. You can't gain love if you don't risk anything. Love is painfull but love started in being faithful and you have trust to your partner. If you want him to trust you either and not thinking that he will hurt then trust him too. ;) I've been in relationship to but I never scared to love again because I know I will find my right man who will love me and accept me as I am I hope you to. :)

i can easily trust people but once you break it, it will never get it back. maybe i can still trust them, but not 100% coz you already broke my trust..

to get out of a marriage is not easy. even somebody never have courage to do in his whole life. if can't divorce, the important is adjust your mind. don't care too much about others, keep you self happy, raise some interest for yourself. you can do something else to make yourself abstracted if you feel sad.

You know what, we are the same. I know my bf is faithful with me but i can help myself o be jealous all the time. But when he got mistakes I react and then I try to be more mature and accept things that he cant stay with me all the time and he needs to mingle also wih other person. As long as the day end, he must be with me and thats the assurance that he can stay wih me wishing for forever.