Too much information? Too much to handle? Your opinion...

Sounds like a discussion I might go over and see . I'm not a swinger by any means, but I find the idea intriguing even though I wouldn't do it lol. There are many excellent ideas I wouldn't take part in, doesn't mean they don't float other people's boats well!

to me if you dont like the subject you dont have to read it or reply.. im sick of people replying and stating how they are against whatever the post is about.. thats not helping anything!!

Exactly!! :)WHenever I find a discussion that I don't feel comfortable with, I just close the tab, why should I want to read it all, and even more participate? It seems strange that someone would do just that but hey.. I guess to each its own - but then don't complain LOL

Yes, on myspace, I had a man from Nigeria stalking me and attempting to take down my information and the FBI was almost called in. I had to get rid of my account and I was told never to give my information to anyone unless it was a place like paypal.

There is another forum where I used to post where it came out that some people were almost stalking members, taking screen shots of past things they had posted and filing it away, slowly getting information from things such as locations they'd posted about to find out where they lived, address numbers, phone numbers, email, etc, and then people who lived near would actually stalk them in real life. I don't really understand this level of nosiness but somehow or other it filled a void for those people. This is one reason I wouldn't get on here and post an address or email, you never know where those types of people are lurking. I never had issues with any of them but I did have a few friends who were horribly traumatized by it.

I suppose just as in real life, you will encounter people who just can't help it, they don't even respond to be helpful, they respond because they have an agenda to further. It is a bummer that there have to be people like this but I suppose they have a right to share the world too. I just wish they could be muted or fast forwarded whenever encountered lol.

it would be nice to have that option of mute them. but the world is a funny place. you learn life lesson from people you would otherwise never talk to, or never want to talk to. so that's why keeping an open mind even when people insist on talking when sometimes silences is best, is a great way to deal with life

I agree sooner or later it will get you in some way or another. I call it the ripple effect. What you do in all parts of life down the road has some kind of effect.

People like to be jerks. I think sometimes in a place like this, it serves as a way for somebody who is NOT a jerk in their face to face dealings an opportunity to BE a jerk because they can do it as a faceless entity. They don't have to be responsible for what they post right away, and it gives them a chance to 'create' something to toss back. I think most of these people are not nasty and forceful people - they are people who are bitter for having been doormats in real life, so they use a place like this for their alter ego to get out lol. It's like they believe there's no consequences. There are, it just takes longer for them to happen than it would if we were all face to face.

its great it leaves openings and closures and pleasures for me anyway,and sometimes helps you to think not everything has to be serious and you can reply to be helpful insread of giving an opinion,you know we are all just people i dont think anyone has the right answer and complimenting sometimes helps.

I agree. When someone has decided they don't like me and they don't even know me, it isn't MY fault they don't like me. A lot of what drives their dislike could be assumptions, not fact anyway. I read and respond to a wide variety of things here, some safe, some not so safe. I am never the first one to come unglued though, although I have added my two cents sometimes when somebody has.

It's really nice to get advice here when you ask for it because often you get a LOT, and it runs the gamut from 'I knew that already' to 'I never thought of it that way', and for the most part, it helps. Even just the action of sharing it can make you feel better, and when you see how many other people are in that boat or have been in it at one point, you feel less alone. Sometimes I can tell by the way somebody responds to something that there is more than meets the eye, and if they get upset and share something in order to justify what they said originally, it's almost like I knew it was coming. I even understand why some people do that, they don't like getting egged on or have assumptions made about them by people who don't read between the lines very well, so they put it out there to stop the mystery and questions.

It's so much easier in theory than in reality though, isn't it? I see people come unglued far more often than should actually be happening.

I have noticed that many share this opinion, and I do as well. It just seems to be harder for people to put into practice to just avoid a discussion instead of flaming, to just hit the back button, or to just ignore. Again, it comes down to control and apparently a lot of people just do not have it.

I don't think there's any reason to feel guilty about something you post either. In fact, because people are virtually strangers, that may be WHY a lot of people are comfortable sharing here. In their face to face relationships, there may be guilt because those people know them and they may not want to discuss things where it would likely affect how those in real life treat them. With online discussions, what people say doesn't have to affect you. Unless a great deal of us actually know each other, it's not like we're going around phoning their friends and relatives and saying 'guess what x told me this morning! Get a load of this!' LOL! For example, I know in the past I asked some opinions about kids who jump on furniture or climb on tables and counters and whether it was appropriate to allow that. The reason I asked such a thing here and not among my circle of friends is because one of my friends figured that *I* was weird for not allowing it. I wanted to get a snapshot of what ordinary people I did not really know thought and an idea of what was acceptable to most, a poll across many different types of households, education levels, experiences, financial statuses, etc. It worked, the majority came back with basically 'what are you thinking, of course we don't let our kids do that'. A few abstained of course but there will always be some to whom behavior is not a big deal.

That's certainly the case here lol.

This forum is totally unmoderated except for things that are removed for being against ToS. In other places I have visited, sometimes everything is moderated to filter out things where people have gotten nasty in disagreements BEFORE the posts even see the light of day. Given how I feel about censorship, this does bother me to a degree, yet people SHOULD learn how to express disagreement without resorting to bullying, namecalling, and the like. I think bottom line is that if someone disagrees, they need to remember that their opinion is the reason, and not that it's the final say, the truth, or right as far as black and white.

The biggest question here though is... just because people CAN, does that mean that's what they do? I believe differences in opinion are fine. It's when somebody starts off condemning anybody that has a different view (unless someone was initally being abusive) that the trouble starts.

If people would always remember that an opinion is an opinion and stop harping about how they are the AUTHORITY on the matter, I don't think there would be so much dissension in threads. I fully admit that *I* get irritated when I see someone come to a discussion and claim they are the TRUTH. It is so obvious they are not lol. When someone disagrees or has an opinion, that's all it should be. I don't get why they have to try and claim they have a final say.

I didn't keep track of any names, it was just a view I saw repeatedly in one discussion I was in recently. It was very negative and very 'we think we are right therefore you are all wrong for supporting x poster' etc. I think I even posted in a discussion a few days after it had been started and somebody thought it 'helpful' to post to ME and ask me why I had to open a can of worms by responding lol. It was my understanding that you can post a response to any discussion at any time you want, 2 seconds after it has been opened, in response to any comment anywhere in the thread, and even if it has been open for 2 years. I don't recall seeing a time limit anywhere in the ToS. It almost makes me chuckle to think someone is actually going to be a post policeman and tell me they don't think I should post a response because others would respond again? People respond to old discussions I have posted, I don't consider it a problem. Sometimes I have trouble getting back to all of them to see who has answered and comment if necessary but it's not like it's a PROBLEM. People should welcome more comments, more views, and more discussion. It's why this place is here! I don't see any discussion as useless. Some I clearly cannot join in on if I'm not an avid watcher of a show or something so I have no idea what the title even refers to, but if something is general enough or asking for opinions, why not? I defend my opinion too, I don't purposely try to be harsh either but sometimes it comes out 'in kind' as in you attack me, you asked for it lol.

Some people are better at remaining civil than others . I even have trouble from time to time but I certainly try not to be the one who goes off the deep end first lol..

That is what is so laughable about all this. An opinion is an opinion. It is a personal view, formed by how you feel, what you experience and what you have experienced, sometimes influenced in part by others as well. It is not right, it is not wrong. I mean it is obviously right for YOU if it's yours, but that doesn't make it the best one nor right for other people, know what i mean? I stress this point often when I talk about my opinion. I do think if my opinion is tolerant, it is better than one that is intolerant, but again, that's my opinion too lol. Obviously somebody else's intolerant opinion is getting them something they want out of life or they would cast it aside in a heartbeat. Some people don't even read what is written, they take one point and run with it, trampling over everybody else on the way. They ignore anything except what they can take to twist and throw out again, so you're right about that too. There is a certain give and take to forums that they are missing when they do this. I believe it would be called selective comprehension and bullying.

Yes, exactly. That's what is so great about a place like this, there are thousands of choices, so if one isn't attractive to you, on to the next.

I think it's normal to disagree, I have never ever posted at a forum where everybody agrees. Once in awhile if it's a very small private forum and everybody who is a member also gets together in real life, it can be more common to have a majority consensus but when you come together with several thousand people who only know you by your posts? It's unlikely. When the question is 'how do you feel' or 'what do you think', many times there are disagreements from the get go. I think the fact that people are different is good, but people spend too much time, money, and energy trying to be 'the same'. Kind of depressing.