Bad Mother?
By maple_kisses
@maple_kisses (2156)
Philippines
August 23, 2008 1:33am CST
She: How dare them do that to my kids? They aren't eating because they're not feeding them! To hell with them all!
Me: Uhhmmm... that was your Mom on the phone?
She: That's my mother-in-law, that old hag!
Me: Uh-uh.... (resumes typing, doesn't want to give a comment)
She: What a b!tch! Who gave her the right to tell me that I'm not doing anything about my kids' condition? What about their son? What has he done to his family? I'm working for my kids! Damn!
Me: Oh, so you left your kids to your mother-in-law's care?
She: Care? They don't care! God! I'm working! I can't afford a babysitter with my meager salary and I left my kids to them because I don't have my own Mama anymore, I was hoping they'll take care of my kids!
Me: Why? Aren't they doing just that?
She: They called to tell me my kids won't eat and they're having a hard time disciplining my kids and that i should go home and take care of them myself!
Me: So, are you going home?
She: What? And left my job? I can't do that! They should take care of my kids!
Me: But that's just that right? They're your kids not theirs...
She: Well, the kids are their grandchildren. They should at least do that for me since their son left us and went away with his mistress!
Me: Uhmmm...
She: I'm so tired of this! I wanted so much to leave everybody and hook-up with someone else and have fun with my life!
Me: What about your kids?
She: I don't wanna think about them anymore. For once, I wanna think of myself.
Me: I see...
She: I hate this life!
This conversation took place this morning in the office. I actually posted this in my blog @ http://maplekisses.tabulas.com but I really wanted to ask you guys your reaction on this. I'm not into judging people but I somehow felt bad about her attitude. I mean, her in-laws are old and they're trying to help but well, they may not be able to carry those naughty boys anymore. She should at least be thankful that other people are taking care of her children for her right? But well, she's a working Mom, and her husband left her for another woman... I don't know, still having bad feelings about this and we're sitting beside each other. She's been grumpy all day, muttering bad words and cursing her in-laws.
Do you think she's a bad mother?
3 people like this
9 responses
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
9 Oct 08
No I don't think she's a bad mom. I think she's overwhelmed and really needs some help. I feel for her, I really do. Every mom has moments in a day where they want to forget their troubles (including their kids) and run away from it all. Life is tough sometimes.
I was in her situation once. I had to leave my son with my mother because I had no one else and could afford no one else. I felt horrible about it because my mother didn't do the greatest job watching him, but I had no choice.
Sometimes moms have to do what they have to do to support their family.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
24 Aug 08
Well her REACTION is not good, that's for sure, but given what has happened - her husband left her for another woman, she is working fulltime because she has to to provide for herself and her kids, no wonder she is upset and bitter. I don't think that beggars should be choosers though, if she doesn't want her mother in law watching her kids because she doesn't 'care', then she should find somebody else. I still believe she IS the mother and she is supposed to take care of them, not her in-laws. Of course the absent father should be taking care of them as well.
Is she exceptionally young? I see where she was saying 'I wanted to just leave and have fun and hook up with someone else' etc etc. Was that because she didn't have an opportunity before she started her family? That's nobody's fault.
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
24 Aug 08
She doesn't sound like a bad mother, she sounds like a mother who has too much on her shoulders and needs a break. yes, she shouldn't completely dump on her in-laws, but on the same note she does need help.
@kumarbukai (45)
• India
23 Aug 08
*After reading this article i have to this conclution that a mother cannot nerver be bad but the situation creats the problem When sonme mother give birth to a child keeping the baby in her baby in her wom an feel pain the pain for 9 months.
Can you she is guilty. and he reaction of the inlaws are all the same round the world .
So i think it to be taken not so serious and as for your system we have to face the problem around the world. So i think it is a part of life.
kumar
@3cardmonte (5098)
•
23 Aug 08
she needs to realise that once you have kids,you don't come first anymore,.If she didnt want the kids,she shouldnt have had them. They are her kids and nobody elses
@berrys (864)
• Singapore
23 Aug 08
Of course not. shes only doing what she's doing so that she;'d be able to surport her kids financially. In my opinion the in-laws should be helping out a bit just till she's done with her job after all they are their grand children. In fact her ex-husband should be paying her child-support and taking care of the kids as-well otherwise the children will not get to spend enough time with their father and they'd be sad about it. Yes her life isn't that great but she should always remember that shes got the love of her children and should be proud of herself to be supporting them even when her ex and her in-laws are neglecting them! well done for her!
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
23 Aug 08
Some points of the conversation made her seem like a bad mother, wherein some of them made her seem as if she's just distressed because she wants to do all she can for her children, but that her in laws aren't doing what she feels they should. It honestly seemed as if she didn't think her in laws fed them, I'm not sure. Do they live with her or do they live with their grandparents?
@redkathy (3374)
• United States
23 Aug 08
I was a single mom with a strong willed child for a short time. I had to work too. I never slighted my son ever. Maybe her kids are not eating and hard to handle because they feel her frustration with her life choices. I'm not sure that I could sit there and let it go. Where there is love and hope there lies an answer to a problem. It may not be an easy or fun answer but with hope we survive. I would probably share that thought with her. To answer your question, if this is her permanent attitude toward her kids and her life then yes she is a bad mother.
@dong1970 (1572)
• Philippines
23 Aug 08
i don't think so,mothers have different styles to handle her children,maybe she is showing it only that she is strong inspite of problems that occurs on her.Mother's love their children.Mother's are always nagging but still they will love her children unconditionally.
