Trying to make time for each other...

Well, this is probably going to sound harsh, and I don't mean it to, but the first step will be getting your old child to stop clinging. I recommend finding a play group (look for other stay at home moms in your area at www.meetup.com if you don't have anyone in mind), and getting your child used to playing with other children. This will increase his indepence and his confidence. Then you try to arrange a trade off - you offer to babysit for a child he's closest with while that child's parents go out, and the next week, those parents do the same. He might be more comfortable staying with a friend. If he doesn't get used to being separated from you now, it will only get worse later - and it won't do you and your fiance any favors if you can't spend couple time together because of your toddler - no offense. If that doesn't work, or while you're waiting for the process to take, arrange one night every one to two week where the two of you stay up together after the kids are in bed for a movie, a romantic dinner, a game - whatever. The two of you absolutely need this time together as a couple, or you will cease becoming a romantic pair and start simply co-existing as parents. So sacrifice an hour or two of sleep every once in a while to get that time together if you can't go out.

Maybe you could get the children up early one morning, make them tired during the day and put them to bed early and then you and your fiance will get a chance to cuddle and watch a film. Or you could start watching a film, you, your partner and your four year old and I am sure the four year old will soon fall asleep and you and your partner will have time together.

Hi, how about getting someone to babysit AFTER your 4 year old is in bed asleep? This way she won't miss you when you take some quality time out. You and your mate do need some me time, also wat about Day Care for her? Have you considered that?