I could Really use some good feedback...
By childsca
@childsca (39)
United States
August 26, 2008 5:41pm CST
Can anyone help me? My husband and I have been married for 7 years. He has 2 kids from a previous marriage. Since we've been married we've only paid $575 for two kids. When his daughter turned 18, she moved in with us because she was unhappy at her mom's house. We went to court to get the child support modified for the one remaining child. In the process of doing so, she got a lawyer and our child support decreased to $528 a month but the courts made us pay $444 a month in addition for private school that his son's been going to all his life. Here's my thing: After talking to my husband, he said he would call his ex-wife and ask her not to increase child support every three years and he would say he would pay what he could for private school just so she wouldn't take him back to court. I didn't know these conversations were going on. Then, he'd have me call her and tell her we couldn't afford it...boy was I clueless! Then last year, she called for more money...we started paying her $745 a month for the two kids which included private school...of course the courts looked at that and figured my husband should just pay 50% of the private school since he'd written the checks for the last 7 months. In the meantime, my husband and I have an arm on our house that's up in 2/09 and we have to re-finance our home, we've had to go to the food bank for food, my husband has credit cards in his name for $30,000 we have to pay on...and I can't help but feel resentment and anger towards his ex-wife. Especially when I hear my step son come over and say, "mom said she's glad she has more money now because she can pay off a credit card next month" and hearing how she goes out and buys $5,000 sleep number bed while my step son goes with out hair cuts...what can I do to make sense of it all? How can I get through this for the next 5 years?
2 responses
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
26 Aug 08
Why doesn't he go to court and ask for a decrease? Can you pay the private school tuition directly to the school so that it doesn't pass through her hands?
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
27 Aug 08
First off, I would find a calculator for your state online to see if you are paying the correct amount for your income level.
What your husband is paying out for one child may actually be "fair" for your state and income level. I know what I am suppose to get for one child is about that you are getting plus I can ask for him to pay for private school in full, carry insurance and other things that my son does.
Secondly, I know you are upset, but stay out if it. You are married to your husband and this affects your family, but really all of this should be between him and her. Since you are having a problem with the situation, you need to talk to him and he needs to discuss how tight money is with his ex. Maybe they can find some middle ground. I know for my ex, i let him pay half of what he should be every month for awhile because he was forced to rent an apartments that was ridiculously expensive after hurricane Katrina.
