Do I trust my neighbor or my husband?????
By kwenge
@kwenge (2487)
Kenya
August 27, 2008 6:47am CST
My nextdoor neighbor is a housewife and she is like 20 years older than us, we never talk alot except greetings and how was your day bla bla blaa. My place of work is abit far from where we live but my husband works a walking distance from home............Now, yesterday this lady aproaches me on my way to the office then she tells me " there is something I need to tell you about your husband, on such a day he brought a girl into the house during the day while you were in the office" Gosh, I felt something cut across my stomach then I told myself to relax and not show her she has hurt me. then I said, Oh really? why dint you tell me that very day? she said she did not know how i will take it. I gave her my cellphone number and told her, next time she sees him with a gal into our house she calls me immediately. she said ok.....i thanked for her "concern" and left.
This left me thinking and I came to realise that on the very day and hour my husband was in the office because we were chatting I even have chat/IM history and I also called the office line and talked to him about something i was asking him.
Well to make this a discussion, do you think this neghbor had some motives or she was saying the truth? Shall I confront my husband or just leave it? Cause if I tell him I know he might go and ask her or even scold her. Whats your advice on this matter?
6 people like this
47 responses
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
27 Aug 08
I guess you should at least ask your husband about it! If the timings and the information is NOT true or accurate then why should this lady NOT be confronted about it? Either that or leave it for now and wait to see if it happens again and she calls you. If you are able to get home quickly then you will certainly have your proof on who to trust or not!
4 people like this
@ngaspero (851)
• Italy
27 Aug 08
It's sound very strange, you know that he was in the office, so why did she say something like that? which kind of advantage can she have? You handle very well, now she has you cell. and if it happens it'll happen again..but important no words with your husband and be as normal as possible...
Nun
3 people like this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
27 Aug 08
I think that your neighbor means you no harm. I think she may have got your husband mixed up with someone else. She may have seen another man take a girl into nother apartment or she may have dreamed it and believes it to be true. I would just leave it alone for a while and see if she calls you about it the next time. If you get weird suspicions about it, then I would confront him without waiting for the call. I would just give it some time to see if you can find out for sure if you are afrid to approach him with it.
2 people like this
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
27 Aug 08
Since you know it wasn't true, you were talking to him when he supposedly did this, I would just leave it alone. Let her think, for whatever reason, she has been 'neighborly'. Not sure why she would think she needed to say this to you, other than some people have a problem with other people they see being happy. I wouldn't bother even telling your husband about it, what would that accomplish?
3 people like this
@prinzess1515 (1341)
• United States
27 Aug 08
Just wait and see if she ever calls you. I would wonder why she would make something like that up though. No sense in getting in a fight with your husband if it is something that isn't true and if it is true, you tell him and he goes and scares the neighbor off then she might not tell you when the girl is there.
2 people like this
@tinker_bel (297)
• Philippines
27 Aug 08
hi kwenge!
In my opinion, i think your neighbor has a liking for your husband because if not...why would she make such news just to plant doubts in your head. Or if not, maybe she derives joy in seeing other people broke up.
There are many reasons that could be derive as to why she has done this. But I can share this advice that my dad has said. Do not allow other persons to interfere in your married life, especially if she or he is not really your close confidante. Always relay on your partner in life, if you have his complete trust dont just allow some person who was just your acquaintance to destroy what you and your partner have build together.
Trust your partner completely, as you have sworn in your wedding day. dont allow the seed of doubt to take root. just always pray and ask for His guidance.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
27 Aug 08
Gosh Kwenge…not even six months and the intrigues have started…great! Personally I think she is a lonely soul in search of some gossip and she thought female bonding was the best she could start with. Regarding hubby dear, no need of confrontation…just mention this in jest and see how he reacts. Oh well…all’s well that ends well
1 person likes this
@kwenge (2487)
• Kenya
27 Aug 08
Just imagine Sudipta, monday 25th was our 4th month anniversary and thats when she was telling me such things! When am with husband she does not greet us but when alone she greets us. Hubby and I are always together and ever smiling. he has never done something to make me doubt him........after work we go for evening walks, we unintetionally hold hands when walking together, we giggle and tickle each other.....I think thats what is bothering her. she does not want to see us happy. Ok, am still waiting for her call so I can think otherwise. Have not uttered a word to him yet. Lets wait and see.
Thanks for your response dear friend.
@kwenge (2487)
• Kenya
27 Aug 08
Just imagine Sudipta, monday 25th was our 4th month anniversary and thats when she was telling me such things! When am with husband she does not greet us but when alone she greets us. Hubby and I are always together and ever smiling. he has never done something to make me doubt him........after work we go for evening walks, we unintetionally hold hands when walking together, we giggle and tickle each other.....I think thats what is bothering her. she does not want to see us happy. Ok, am still waiting for her call so I can think otherwise. Have not uttered a word to him yet. Lets wait and see.
Thanks for your response dear friend.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
28 Aug 08
You are such a darling, I really wish we lived next door and chatted often (instead of that grouchy old lady
)… BTW you got married on 25th April and I got married on 23rd April (of course 11 yrs back) what a coincidence
)… BTW you got married on 25th April and I got married on 23rd April (of course 11 yrs back) what a coincidence @todwalrohit (116)
• India
27 Aug 08
Hey Kwenge,
no need to talk to your Hubby, because it would definitely make distance between you and ur hubby, so better leave this issue and live the life as usual.
but yes, you can do one thing, you can play a game against your neighbour in any way, she is your neighbour, you know bettr about her and her life so finally you can give her a lesson.
you handled the situation very well.
@ashar123 (2357)
• India
28 Aug 08
I guess something is going on fishy. To clap you need both hands, therefore, don't tell your husband about this. Wait and relax for the day to come when your cell phone rings and your neighbor gives you the news. You know, you must never beleive on things like this, unless you see or hear them yourself. Till then relax.
1 person likes this
@schulzie (4061)
• United States
29 Aug 08
That is really a tough one. How well do you know your neighbor? Does she have ulterior motives? Do you trust your husband? I guess I would probably wait and see if she calls me again and then surprise him. Or I would install a hidden camera, maybe one that has remote access for you to view from work. I would not approach him and ask him. If he is guilty of something you would be giving up your advantage right now. Just play it by ear and see what happens.
Have a nice day and happy myLotting!!!
@4my1nonly (352)
• Philippines
27 Aug 08
Hmm...Just leave it ,maybe your neighbor saw that man looks like your husband, as long as you know that your husband is not making any kind of matter don't believe in wrong informations, it will cause trouble. I think that your neighbor is just being concerned with you but before you believe in her story or the things that she tells you , think first...
1 person likes this
@GIPILKO (51)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
You said you have a message history on your IM, so that means, you're too smart to do investigation without involving an person, and you said you even called your husband on that day, so that means..you have to believe your husband..but still, i don't recommend to be always trusting to the max. But it is still up to you, and how much do you know your husband..your neighbor might be only making a persons life broken, so be careful in dealing with people, including you hubby..u might break his heart too without knowing.
@berrys (864)
• Singapore
27 Aug 08
I think you should trust your neighbor but you should not accuse your husband of such doings until you have find some proof that this has actually happen. Maybe you should go online and purchase those secret camera's the little ones their quite cheap and you can hide it at places to stop your curiosity. But then again why would your neighbor wanna lie about something of this topic? like you said you guys aren't close, so she has no motives, and could be just trying to help you out. Good luck with whatever you do !
1 person likes this
@Tashasmith (172)
• United States
27 Aug 08
Sweetheart this is your husband trust him. That's why you are a team don't even mention it the lady next door is obviously miserable and envious. Don't entertain her thats what she wants. She must have seen how much he loves you and he has probably been affectionate towards you in her presense and she's upset and jealous. Or she may have hit on him and he shot her down with rejection so now she wants to hurt you. So this is what you do pray for her and make sure you say good morning or goodnight or what ever in passing.I don't like the fact you gave her your number but if she calls be polite ands if she wants to tell you something negative tell her you are really busy now or something just came up. But by no means invite the devil into your life remember he comes to seek, kill, and destroy so you know with the signs early on what you're dealing with. I hope this helps.
Love Tasha
1 person likes this
@kwenge (2487)
• Kenya
28 Aug 08
Wow! Tasha, this is sooo inspiring. Thanks alot for your wise advice. I am going to do exactly what you just said. I think she is the devil in disguise and that was the first thought that came in my mind immediately she told me that story. My husband is not the kind to bring gals to our home......even when we were courting for those 5 years he never cheated on and I never even doubted him. He is a God fearing person.
Thanks alot and happy posting.
1 person likes this
@Bluepatch (2476)
• Trinidad And Tobago
27 Aug 08
Chatty and ratty neighbours are par for the course.
In fact, in my office, everyone is both chatty and ratty.
I don't know about neighbours although I know my landlord gets reports on my activities which I also know he elicits.
Lets face it, dearie, its a chatty and ratty world.
1 person likes this
@mikeysmom (2088)
• United States
27 Aug 08
hmmmmm. this is a tough one but i would tell my husband what she told you to see his reaction. maybe she got the days wrong and there is something to it?? also did she give you a description of the woman who was supposedly at your home and if so does she match the description of anyone he works with? if he adamantly denies this then i would tell her she was wrong and you have the phone records to prove it and ask her right out why she told you that. i would want to know since you live right next door to her. it is best to know if you should not continue to have any dealings with her.
1 person likes this
@sweethomecatring (1563)
• India
27 Aug 08
You need not trust ur neighbor or yr husband. I would like that first you trust your self and I am certain your will get every answer of your every quarry. If your neighbor asks you to jump from the roof of your house will u. Be positive nothing is going to happen.Take it easy.
@rocker21 (2716)
• India
27 Aug 08
Well the thing here is you are trapped badly. First of all if you ask this to your husband and if its true, he wont tell you, hes no fool that hes involved with some gal and would tell you straight away. He would normally deny and would say blah blah about the neighbour and would give you lectures on trusting him and yours and his love.
Secondly you dont know whats in your neighbours mind and what so ever it is!
1 person likes this
@titagdl (136)
• Mexico
27 Aug 08
You should ignore your neighbor, you mention yourself that she´s not your friend or anything, and if you have solid proof that your husband wasn´t even at home when she says he was, well it´s obvious she´s wrong or confused or something. Give your husband some credit, she´s just a woman that live s next to you he´s your partner in life!!!
@princessmaz (34)
• United States
27 Aug 08
In my experience all men cheat!. Doesn't mean he doesn't love u but if yooz r in a long relationship men seem to be retarded if they get attention from another female. At the same time if he did bring a gal home. It could have been innocent n she's just a mate from the office. Ask him!
1 person likes this
