How to Bite your Tongue when your opinionated

Think of it this way. If it's the in-laws who are the jerks, saying nasty things to your husband isn't going to change that! It will only hurt your husband's feelings. Maybe your husband gets joy from giving gifts (I know I do) whether the recipient seems deserving or not. So, try looking only at your husband's joy and remembering what a caring and giving person he is. Hopefully the nephew will grow up more like your husband than the brother-in-law. LOL

Hmmmm - my own brother is such an ungrateful idiot ! However, regardless of how I feel about my brother himself - I make every effort to not take it out on my nephews... I realize that although my brother doesn't "get it" nor has the ability to teach his sons such concepts as gratitude - that the boys are able to learn from others... It's sad that you husbands brother in law has so little interest in his own family / child - but maybe - just maybe, your husbands attention and generosity will provide the boy with a better role model - at least remembering that always seems to help me bite my own tongue !

As someone married to a guy who is often charitablt to the wrong people, I know how you feel. A thought, though. Are we buying gifts for the brother-in-law, or the son? How old is the son? If the son is just little, do we really want to punish him for the stupid actions of his ungreatful father? If the son is grown up, is he ungreatful like his father, or has he learned to be better than that? It all depends on the situation. As for biting my tongue, I DON'T, and then we TALK about how we each feel, and decide from there.

I think we have pretty much all gone through something like this at one time or another in our lives. I think that as long as your husband is buying for his nephew and not his brother-in-law, that's better. Unfortunately sometimes we have to just bite our tongues as hard as it is for the sake of keeping peace. I've been there & done it so I know for sure it's tough.