can exlovers be friends?
By flance101
@flance101 (137)
Philippines
September 1, 2008 7:47am CST
yeah, you're right for thinking that i'm in this kind of situation. my first boyfriend (yes,im a girl), and also the only bf i had, broke up a few months ago. its not really a problem, its just that he's now courting a friend of mine. me and my ex agreed that we'll still be friends. the problem is that i have started processing the papers i need to start working in the very same company they work for. the truth is, among the three of us, i was the first one to be offered a job there, but because of some problems, i had to delay my entry there. the reason why i still want to work there is because its the company i really want to get into. but then again, some people are reacting negatively. also, i dont want the three of us get into some misunderstandings. i still want to work there, am i being too stubborn? its not like im planning to ruin them, but not everyone understands that. yes, the three of us are trying to keep our friendship, if i work there, will it be affected negatively?
2 people like this
4 responses
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
2 Sep 08
Here is the thing you friendships between your ex and your friend are already strained in a way and the only way your friendship is negatively effected anymore than it is, is if you let it be. Your either want them both as friends and wish them well and be the better person and just push aside all thoughts about the prior relationship and move on as business as usual or you get upset and take what ever action you deem necessary to let them now you are upset about it.. Either way work should be work and you were offered the job before them so take it. Leave the personal stuff at the door before you enter work then what you do outside of work is another story.
2 people like this
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
9 Sep 08
With that resolve Chicka you'll have no problem have fun with the new job and give the friends a hug.
@flance101 (137)
• Philippines
7 Sep 08
yeah, i am willing to leave these personal problems. in fact. even though i havent completely moved on, i have accepted the fact that he's not mine anymore. as for them, i still want them to be my friends. i wish them both happiness. i agree, and i am confident that the three of us can keep this friendship, after all, the three of us have high regards to our friends. i dont want to lose the friendship we had for years now, and i am not gonna let something like this to ruin it. :)
1 person likes this
@mafia2463 (19)
• Philippines
1 Sep 08
yes, i guess so. maybe you should ask yourself first if you are really over him and that you can manage to see them around in your company everyday. that would be painful,i guess.love does not fade that easy and quick.but sometimes, things are not meant for us and for some reason,it's for the common good.if you and your ex boyfriend had agreed to end up as good friends, then i guess you should be,both of you.it's not the people around you nor your friend (the one he's courting) to decide what you should do or feel towards each other.be nice to him and t your friend( that would be tough though)but in that way,people will see how truthful and sincere you are to both of them.in love,if you can't make it as a lover,save your friendship. that's the best way to live life happily.no heavy loads to carry on as you move along,searching for the one that's made for you...
2 people like this
@flance101 (137)
• Philippines
7 Sep 08
hi, thanks for the response. yeah, you have a point in saying that i should know first if my completely over him. the truth is, him being my first bf its quite a little hard. but i know, i just know, that there is no reason for me to hold on. i am trying to move on. and you are most definitely right for saying that even though i wasnt able to keep the relationship, i can still save the friendship. as for my feelings toward them, i dont hate them or something like that. falling in love is something i understand, and i dont blame them for falling for each other. i am not a hypocrite in saying this, but i am truly happy if they can be happy with each other.
@mizzJhaded (244)
• Philippines
1 Sep 08
Just don't bother yourself thinking what others say...what is important is what you really feel..and that you have clean conscience..Don't mind those stupid people reacting negatively..anyway they're not the one who feeds you adn that they have nothing to do with your life...
1 person likes this
@flance101 (137)
• Philippines
7 Sep 08
thanks for the reply. yeah, maybe you are thinking that i am concerned with what others have to say, i dont deny it either. :) the truth is i was hurt with their words. though i know they are just concerned, i cant help but feel that they dont have much confidence in me. people tell me that im too nice because i'd rather bear with the pain by myself. its just that dragging someone along with me is against my codes. i cant hurt anyone, and as for my exlover and my friend, i truly wish them happiness. :) thanks again.
@flance101 (137)
• Philippines
7 Sep 08
thanks. :) he is not the reason of our break up. the reason was me. i was having emotional stress that time that i feel like i was being a problem to him. the fact that he still wanted me as a friend is a good thing. i have lost him as my lover, and i dont wanna lose him as my friend.
