Blame The Victim Mentality

I have to speak up for the other side of the coin here. When we were foster parents we got a girl that was 14, I'll call her Gail. Gail came into foster care b/c a teacher overheard her telling a friend that her dad was hitting her. After she was placed in foster care her father was charged and jailed for 60 days for hitting her and had to take anger management classes. He lost his job and just about went broke paying fines and lawyers fees. Meantime family services was halfa*s working on getting them reunited. Gail went to court and told the Judge how her dad beat on her and she didn't want to go home. Her dad told the Judge he'd never laid a finger on her and he didn't want her home if this was what she was going to put him through. She stayed in foster care. Shortly before leaving our foster home she confided to both another foster kid and myself that her dad never hit her. A friend at school had told her that if she got put in foster care that she'd get to date, do what she wanted, get cool clothes, trips and free stuff and no one would tell her what to do. Some of that wasn't true as she later found out but by then she'd already burned the bridge with her dad. The truth is there are kids out there that are abused and need help desperately. There are also kids that know, or think they know, how to use the system to get what they want. In cases of abuse, I think that there needs to be physical evidence to back it up or a reliable witness. Although we'd all like to believe that children never lie, the truth is there are some that do and parents can be victims just as well as the kids. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~

i think that is horrible!! i think the parents should be punished some how especially if they were told first and didnt turn them in or something.. some people just do not want to believe anything negative or anything negative about certain people and some people view some of their kids as nothing but trouble makers and that everything that comes out of their mouths are lies whether or not the child deserves that.. usually the child doesnt even lie much but for some reason the parents are convinced otherwise

You are right. The first reaction should be to believe the child and remove it from the situation if necessary. But sometimes the investigation shows that the child really just wanted to retaliate. I used to work in a law firm where we took on the case of a father accused of molesting his daughter. Turns out that he had forbidden the twelve year old to see her sixteen year old boyfriend, who was up to no good and had been in trouble with the law. In retaliation the boyfriend gave the girl books written by abuse victims and about abuse with underlined passages and instructed her to write those into her diary. Both books and the diary were found when the police searched the girls room. During interrogation, she provided conflicting stories about what exactly happened. But stuck to the molestation story to stick it to her daddy. She had been removed from the family and put into foster care. I don't think she realized how far this would be taken. Of course the father faced criminal charges. So this whole thing landed before a judge. As soon as that girl saw the courtroom, the judge, and the jury, she broke down and was incredibly sorry about everything. I can only hope the family managed to heal. So while it is good to first believe the child. You cannot blame people for asking questions especially if the whole situation is very suspicious.

This is a very sensitive subject but it's very true officials seem to take the views of a small child very lightly, the child has no credibility! I'm very passionate about this subject having been abused as a child myself. The child feels totally isolated with no one to turn to. It's very difficult that the child has to face rejection from those who should be very supportive. My abuser never went to court. I was not listened to. There was no evidence, it was my word against that of my abuser and so there was no case for the crown prosicution service. That's all behind me now thankfully. I guess that certain officials still need to be educated as regards the effects of child abuse. Andrew