Should I forgive her for having lied to me so much?
By Shilpi0202
@Shilpi0202 (188)
India
September 3, 2008 2:08am CST
A friend of mine recently got divorced and I helped her cme out of the trauma and provided her company and comfort. She sounded really grateful to me for this. She often seemed to be quite quite and dull and I used to encourage her to go n make more friends, party n stuff. Recently she had been spending many nights outside home. She would tell me that she had an office party and would stay at a colleagues place and at other times tell me that she is going to a relative's place.
To my great shock and pain, I got to know that she has been lying to me all this while. She has been spending nights elsewhere. I don't know whether it's one or a group that she has befriended.
I am really hurt. I never stopped her from going out or even dating anyone. Still she lied to me. Any ideas, what her reasons for lying must be? She has been apologising for having lied to me and says that she has been meeting her friends. Her I don't rely on her anymore. She's apologising to me and asking for one more chance. Should I forgive her?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@Shilpi0202 (188)
• India
3 Sep 08
Well, she says that she would never lie to me and the reason behind her lying to me was that she thought I might misunderstand her and think that she now wants to live like a free bird and is no more sorry for her divorce. Now this pains me all the more. It was me who used to ask her to make more friends and socialise more to have her lost confidence back.
@jhellie_baby (374)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
hi there. what a sad story you have here. well, for me, you should ask her why she lied to you despite all the helping hand that you gave her. dont close your door to her yet, give her time to talk and listen to her. good luck .
@Shilpi0202 (188)
• India
3 Sep 08
Thanks for your reply. Acually, this hasn't happened for the first time. She did it earlier as well. But that time she had gone to meet her ex-boss who's considered to be a womaniser of sorts (though not declared or proven). She said that she went to meet him just generally because he had been wanting to meet her and know about her well-being after divorce. Obviously, I wouldn't have objected to it or taken it on a wrong note. I told her to do what she deems right and never think that I'd misunderstand her for I've full confidence in her decisions and character.
And despite that, she again lied to me. This time, I just don't feel like trusting her or listening to her excuses of fearing to lose me n stuff...
Dunno what to do...
@erictan (33)
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
She just your friends not someone who really important to you. Why are you care so much of this? People will chance, time over the time. Today she might your best friends, tomorrow she may become your enemy. You just think about it whether what she done is worth for you to forgive her. I don't know there are anything that you didn't tell us cause for me if someone lied must have a reason. You need to find it out before you make any decision.
@callcenterchick (94)
•
3 Sep 08
for me being honest is a key to every type of relationship like friendship. but no ones perfect and everybody makes mistakes.
You should ask her why did she lie to you and for what reason?
and if she said that reason. you just have to talked it out and lay down all of your cards.
