Do your kids have a bedtime or sleep routine?
By jmhall
@jmhall (143)
United States
September 4, 2008 2:52pm CST
We have been debating this in our home. Our kids are ages 3 and 1 and since we I am a SAHM we do not have to get up at any particular time. We both agree that they should be asleep at a reasonable time. It is the time and method that we do not agree on. Since birth we have just let them fall asleep in the family room with us anf then we take them to bed. They are usually asleep by 9:00pm, sometimes a little later depending on when they got up, if they had a nap/how long they napped and how active they were that day. I have no problem with this as they are all usually up by 7:00am so if we had to go somewhere early we still have time to get ready and go.
My husband on the other hand thinks that thye should be put to bed in their own rooms/beds by 7:30/8:00 and that I should just leave them in their rooms and let them cry themselves to sleep. We have tried this a few times and the kids screamed for about 30 minutes to a hour and then fell asleep.
I really do not want to do this and since he does not get home until after 8:00 pm it will be me that has to do this every night until as he puts it gets used to it. For one I think that it is too early a bedtime and for the other I think it cruel to let them sit in there and scream until they fall asleep. I told him I would put them in their beds and sit with them until they fall asleep but he is not in agreement.
So since I am the one here every night I just keep doing things as we always have.
So how do you handle bedtime at your house?
2 people like this
11 responses
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
5 Sep 08
I know what you are saying, sometimes it seems so much easier to just let them do what they want and work around them, but long term it just makes a parents job ten times harder and miserable! I nearly made the same mistake a few times myself!
My two year old daughter has her routine, she gets taken upstairs about 6.50pm and has a wash or a bath, then she has her hair brushed and teeth brushed and then she goes to bed and I read her a story. Most times she will fall asleep during the story but if for any reason she does not then she has her tv on. She is so set in her routine that if by 7pm she has not been taken upstairs she comes and tells me by crying and being whingy.
My other two boys are 7 and 6 and at first when they were little, I did not have a set routine for them, and it was hard they just seemed to be up all the time. In the end I knew that if I did not set a regular routine then I would never have a moment to myself of an evening and so I set the same routine for them. Now that they are older they stay up a little later and then at a certain time they go upstairs and watch tv until they fall asleep.
1 person likes this
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
4 Sep 08
I think it is important to have a routine and a set bedtime (keeping it flexible), but it is not necessary to have them scream and cry to get used to it. It is easy for him to say what you should do when he doesn't have to be there to deal with it. Choose a bedtime that is close to when they go to bed now. Tell them what will happen. Start a routine. For example- put on pajamas, brush teeth, read a story, then go to bed- or something that works for you and your children. Then sit with them for a while, but try to leave before they fall asleep. What I do with my son when he has a hard time going to bed is sit with him for a few minutes, then gradually move closer to the door and eventually outside his door. This may help ease the transition for your children instead of having them cry it out.
Good bedtime habits are important because sleep is the foundation for good health. When children learn to soothe themselves to sleep, they will be better able to handle conflict during the day. They will be able to adapt that skill to other situations in their lives. Also, when they go to preschool or school, the routine and the good night's sleep will become even more important.
1 person likes this
@tlb0822 (1410)
• United States
4 Sep 08
Our bedtime routine varies day to day. My fiance works until 6pm every night, so dinner is usually around 7. We relax for awhile then I put my daugher, 8 months, in the bath tub about 8. Then i just let her fall asleep when ever she is ready. I don't force her to go to bed. I think that you already have a fairly good routine, and that an earlier bedtime just puts more strain on you.
1 person likes this
@liltunergirl (467)
• Canada
4 Sep 08
I don't see anything wrong with the way you are doing it. They don't have school in the morning so who cares what time they sleep into. Once they hit school age it might be a little bit of a different story but for now letting them fall asleep on the couch and bringing them up to bed is fine. There are no screaming fits and everything is peaceful. My sister and I used to do the same thing when we were kids and we turned out just fine. 9:00 is a good time for a 3 yr old to be in bed and 7:00 is a normal wake up time. If you put them to bed any earlier then they will wake up earlier and you will get less sleep as I don't see you being in bed by 7:30! Your husband needs to relax on the sleeping thing. There is tons of time to get them into a routine before they start school. My daughter is 5 and in SK and she goes to bed at 9pm and must wake up at 6:30am to get ready for school. You're kids will be fine and you are the one looking after them all day, so you need a good nights rest as well. your husband won't understand that though as he isn't around during the day to see. I'd keep doing it the way they are used to, you aren't hurting your kids by doing that.
@corahsmommy (35)
• United States
6 Sep 08
My daughter is 14 months and we have done the same rutine since she was born. @ 7:15 we do bath time and then brush teeth and get jammies on. Then we watch a little tv together and I lay her in her bed no later then 8:30. Now that may be a little early for your kids so you could make bed time a little later. I also use the johnsons bed time bath and bed time lotion and that stuff is amazing. It is ok for them to cry before falling asleep but I never had to have my daughter cry for more the 10 mins and now she is so used to her rutine that she just lays down when I put her in bed no matter what.
@ProudMommy22 (705)
• United States
9 Sep 08
Both my kids have a bed time at 9pm lights out and time for bed dont have much of a problem with it except my 2 yr old he gets a wild hair every now and then and wont go to bed until like 10 but other than that 9pm its time for bed.
@angelface23 (2494)
• United States
5 Sep 08
If we go out somewhere I like to be back by 7:00 then she has time to do whatever she wants and then 8:00 is bathtime. Then she gets a snack and we watch tv upstairs in my bed until 9:00. I read her a book and then put her to bed. Shes 2 btw.
@DeborahGalasso (275)
• United States
5 Sep 08
They have a bedtime at 9pm but they usually want to go to bed... weird huh? lol But they have to be on our work scheduals.
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
5 Sep 08
Yes we do. My daughter has always gone to bed between 7 pm and 8pm. Now that she is in kindergarten it isn't even a debate. Bed time is bed time. I think it makes it easier on her to have this routine. We will probably change things up a bit when she gets a little older.
@faln_angel1205 (1192)
• United States
5 Sep 08
My son is 5...and for the most part yes we have a routine. Since he was about 3 and we were making progress with potty training...we started one. About hour before bed he gets bath, then 30 mins before or so, he gets a half a glass of water or drink of some sort, then after i remind him to use the potty and brush his teeth. Then if its a week night and school (now that hes that age) he goes to bed at 8 o clock, if its fri or sat, he can go in his room at 8 and watch tv til hes tired or til 9 at the latest. Seems to work well, and even when he was younger, i was fortunate to not have big hassles with him at bedtime. Good luck, and i promise it will get easier.
@lauriehomebusiness (656)
• United States
5 Sep 08
This one is a toughy.
Sometimes my kids would cooperate. You know how kids are.
Lately, since my oldest goes to school since the 3rd, I have been telling her to get ready at 9:30PM but I need to have her in bed earlier than that.
She's 7 and in second grade.
My other one goes to bed for the most part with her sister which is good.
SHe sometimes are the one that falls asleep.
Keeping the light on would help instead of shutting it off if they are by themselves.
My kids have a prob with it if without any tv on in their room.
Unfortunately, tv would knock them out.
Depending if they have a nap or something.
