Do you think spanking a child is wrong?
By 2minicoopers
@2minicoopers (239)
United States
September 4, 2008 8:17pm CST
So you think dicipline by spanking is wrong? I'm not talking about child abuse (beating) I'm talking about a swat on the bottom, or smack on the leg?
Also for those of you who say it is wrong, what suggestions do you have for not spanking and dealing with a strong-willed child who will not respond to gentle discipline?
Thanks!
4 people like this
16 responses
@lanlan011 (701)
• United States
5 Sep 08
Aw..I remember those good ole days...running away from parents, and them having a belt in their hands. I dont think a got a swat on the bottom. I guess you could consider it child abuse. I got spanked with a belt. Im just glad they didnt use an extension cord or a switch. I dont think anything is wrong unless you go overboard. Its been like over 8years since I got one. (im 15yrs old) I turned out to be a great person because as I got older I became smarter and received less. I dont get in trouble at school and I dont have behavioral problems, so i dont see anything wrong. Just dont go overboard. See how great I turned out!
3 people like this
@2minicoopers (239)
• United States
6 Sep 08
Yes I too remember the good ole days running from the belt! LOL
1 person likes this
@anyabecker (98)
• United States
12 Sep 08
We definately had that too... my dad would even snap it ... but i would never call it abuse... atleast not with us..
@snowy22315 (182415)
• United States
5 Sep 08
I think a spank on the hand is ok. I spanked my son, but I would try not to do that today, because I think there is alot of evidence that spanking isnt good for children.
2 people like this
@lanlan011 (701)
• United States
5 Sep 08
Really? I received alot of spankings. not on the hand but every where with a belt. I dont think anything is wrong unless you go overboard. you have to draw the line between a nice spanking and child abuse. i turned out great and i have less behavioral problems than some people i know who did not get many spankings.
1 person likes this
@anyabecker (98)
• United States
12 Sep 08
I think it should be definitely thought about carefully before you do it... different kids respond totally different to different types of punishment... so one kid maybe hard headed and need a swat where as another you might just be able to talk sternly to and it work...
@2minicoopers (239)
• United States
6 Sep 08
Yeah I'm very torn on all that I was spanked as a child and I turned out pretty good, I mean I wasnt rebellious or anything and grew up in church etc so I was a pretty good kid, but then some children it does nothing for, and some children are very scared by it.
@shooie (4984)
• United States
5 Sep 08
Spanking no. Beating yes. I grew up with spankings ya know the leather belt...lol but I wasn't beat with it. I babysit my grandkids and told my step daughter from the start I believe in spankings and she was okay with it because she spanks them as well. Sometimes it doesn't work and if ya wanna break their lil hearts meaning my step daughters kids you stand them in a corner for timeout for 3 minutes. When I put them in the corner you would think I had beat them. lol Now the oldest is 3 and he knows if I use a certain tone when I call him he walks over and holds his hand up because he knows am gunna smack it. Now the one year old his well stubborn spanking gets you know where so I send to his room or a corner and is all good to go.
@relundad (2310)
• United States
5 Sep 08
I have actually gone around and around in my head about this particular subject and will anxious to see the responses of this discussion.
I have a 9 year old son, there has been a time or two that I resorted to a spanking, not a beating. My son is very mild mannered and most times I was able to re-direct him verbally. But like most parents there was the couple of times that type of action did not get his attention. They have been the times when talking or punishment just did not get his attention. It doesn't help that he is very non-chalant so most punishment goes un-noticed as he has the "if this is how its gonna be let's roll with it" plus the "if it makes you happy and will shut your mouth,fine" attitude.
The reason that I always had a problem with this is because I felt like I was teaching him to not react in a physical manner because someone did something that he did not like or agree with, yet I responded to him in that very way.
I always felt like growing up and in my adult life prior child, that it was not necessary as a parent to respond in this manner. Even though my parents always seemed to get the results that they wanted when I was spanked.
1 person likes this
@shepora (22)
• Philippines
5 Sep 08
I have never been spanked by my parents when I was a child. So I wouldn't know how it feels like growing up and being spanked sometimes. I believe that spanking should be the last resort to discipline a child. It's wrong when you resort to spanking especially if you're already upset with what the child has done, more so, when you're really angry. When this happens, a child wouldn't understand why you spanked him unless you've clearly set out the rules beforehand and when you know that everything's clear to the child. Otherwise, the child wouldn't get it. When an angry parent spanks a child, he might be spanking more than he needs to or worse beyond his control because of his anger. Spanking should be done when a parent is not angry and when it is clear or understood by the child where the fault or wrong was done. When this is being followed, the parent is surely aware of what he's doing and will be within reason and limitations.
@lanlan011 (701)
• United States
5 Sep 08
Wow. You got it much easier. I wish I'd never been spanked. I dont think my parents told me what ive done but I always understood what I did wrong. If I ever had kids I dont know if ill spank them.
1 person likes this
@bmorehouse1 (1028)
• United States
5 Sep 08
My son and I were just discussing this subject today. We both absolutely believe in spanking. A good swat on the butt doesn't hurt a thing! They need to know that you mean business and if that is how you get their attention, then I say Yes! My son has a friend who does not believe in spanking and so her kids are rather unruly from what I understand. Another friend has the same age of kids and her kids are very well behaved. So the mother who does not believe in spanking asked the other mother how she gets them to be so well behaved? Guess what the answer was?! "Spank them!" Best wishes!
@2minicoopers (239)
• United States
6 Sep 08
I have some friends as well who do not spank and also have unruly children, I've actually stopped hanging out with one couple because of that, we'd invite them over and they would sit and talk and allow their 2&3 year olds to destroy my house without even monitoring what they were doing then when it was over and done with they left it for me to clean up! I guess in that case there was no discipline at all though.
1 person likes this
@SuziBerardini (314)
• Canada
10 Sep 08
Personally, i think parents today are far too scared to spank and they should. I was spanked as a child, and i knew full well that whatever it was i did to get the spanking. i better not do again . I too have kids and yep.... they get spanked when needed. People need to realize that there is a MAJOR difference in a spanking and a beating.For some kids,time out may be an option when they are smaller, but i know ive met a few children who could benefit from a spanking. i was in the grocery store the other day when a 5 year old kicked his mom in the shin. they proceeded to knock down the entire orange display. mom said john when we get home you are going in time out! little johnny just laughed at her. im sorry, but little johnny, in my humble opinion, could have benefited from a swat accross the butt.
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
7 Sep 08
I have raised 4 children. 2 of them never, ever got a spanking. One got her first one when she was 16 and way over-did it running her mouth...at that point...I really did not care if she called in the authorities and i told her so. The other was my oldest daughter...now 31. She had run into the road and it was a reaction more than anything...she was 3 or 4. I would not judge someone who spanked their child as you described or slapped a hand. You know your child. I think that form of discipline should be last resort and sparingly. my girls are grown now and the proof is in the pudding as far as i am concerned. I raised them on my own and they are all good people. it wasn't easy and they were not angels. In fact a couple of them were very challenging. it can be done.
@leatherandlatex (295)
• United States
5 Sep 08
I'm not saying your parenting is wrong because some children need a good spanking. Some children just won't listen unless you show them you mean business. I never had to resort to spankings though. My stepson used to have a bad temper and he never listened to me until I started to put him in time-out. I know what you're thinking; "time-outs don't work". They do if you are consistent. Do not make idle threats (if you say you are going to do something then do it) and don't give your child second and third chances. There is no sense in a child that doesn't behave. There is still hope. I hope everything works out for you and your child.
@anyabecker (98)
• United States
12 Sep 08
I agree that you must be consistent ... but i think that is with any type of punishment... i am also with you on not giving them more than one chance.. we have started doing that with my son(21mths) because he will just count with me until i get to 3 and say Pop... so i had to try something different with him
@bombshell (11256)
• Germany
10 Sep 08
no! i spank sometimes if it is needed but not hard just to tell her that she is wrong.i mean if she is not lestening in first time til third time yes thats the time i spank her.i spank on her as*s.but my little girl has high respect to her father.only the eyes and she behave but not me.
@hardluck (375)
• United States
11 Sep 08
I was spanked as a child, not only by my parents, but ants, uncles, the people next door, the school teachers, and if some one besides your parent spanked you you didn't run home and tell them, because you got it agin. I think the main thing with spanking is you have to start early, what a lot of parent think is funny for a toodler to do or say seem worst as they get older. If you teach a child from a young age that you are in charge then you are in controll, but if you let them be in controll as a young chid then as they get older they will still want to be in controll. Like I say I was spanked as a child, and I'm 47 and still enjoy a good spanking sometimes.
@lemayan (188)
• Germany
5 Sep 08
i dont think spanking a child is wrong infact i think its good to spank your child when reasoning and logic will not do, but i do not mean abuse and yes i agree with, a child can be strong willed and at times you try to talk sense to the kid and it doesnt work, what do you do ? most people now think that spanking is wrong but i wonder would they like to watch their children grow into useless reckless irresponsible human beings? i believe the answer is no, i also believe most parents spank their kids out of love, they try to stream line their children to be able to fit in today's world without being social misfits for example; when you are called in school 3 or so times because your child will not do his/her homework and you have talked to them but somehow they are still not doing the work, and you spank them would anyone judge you as being a bad parent
@2minicoopers (239)
• United States
6 Sep 08
I agree, I have the hardest time keeping my 2.5 year old in her bed at night. She is climbing on her sisters crib and is very strong willed, she climbs over the gate to her room and we tried the nanny thing just putting her back in bed and not saying anything to her, we did it for 4 hours one night and finally I was like okay this is just silly, we gave her a swat and she stayed in bed. She is very funny though, sometimes the swat will work and sometimes NOTHING will work she is just VERY hard headed!!
@anyabecker (98)
• United States
8 Sep 08
I think that if you have tryed every other way of discipline and they didnt work then yes maybe a swat on the booty is the way to go. I also have a very strong willed crazy boy and sometimes he just doesnt get the point when i have asked and redirected him multiple times... so he does get a swat on the butt. For some children it is just the only way for them to get the point and change the behavior. But like all things it should be done not in anger but in a calm and thought out way. You need to be consistant also. make sure you stick with the rules you put down and dont change them daily... they will just get confused...
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Sep 08
well guess you could put the strong willed child in the stocks and throw eggs at him, but again this is 2008 not 1908. and we can have time outs, stand in the corner, orsit in the corner.we can talk to our kids and tell them what they should and should
not do. also we should lead proper lives so as to be good role models for our kids, and be there always for your kids no matter what. they need guidance and love at all times and to know that they can tell you anything and you will listen without getting mad as you will be there for them always and mean it, n
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
5 Sep 08
It is sometimes hard to say about what is the right practice to take. I have a son who is almost five. I don't like to use spanking at all but I will if it calls for it. I don't like to tell people how to handle their children.
I do think that punishment is okay but hitting that goes too far is not a good idea. Child abuse is something that goes on and people get into trouble for it. The hard part is knowing that it is going on behind closed doors and not being reported. Very sad thing.