can a marriage work after someone cheated?

I don't think i would be-able to to forgive and forget what my partner had done... of course i might not stop loving him, but if he cheated on me it would hurt too much to be near him. Eventually over time i would get over him... and to be honest... if he really loved me why would he have felt the temptation to cheat anyway? Marriage is a bonding between you two... where you're honest and loyal... (Unless its an open relationship... in which case you're not cheating) but yeah... I wouldnt beable to forget- which would then lead onto many arguments until finally one of us would walk though the door... (if we tried to make it work that is) but i'd just walk away straight away.. but hey thats me... i believe strongly about loyalty, trust and love.

I think for me personally it would depend on the circumstances surrounding his cheating among other things..I DON'T think that a marriage where cheating has occured is necessarily doomed by any means but htere are so many factors that come into play....the circumstances like I mentioned, the level of love, the honesty in the apology etc etc etc..

I think that some people can make it work. There are some people that are strong enough to forgive and forget. But I couldn't. I get that people make mistakes but being cheated on is a huge betrayal and it hurts more than anything I've ever felt. My boyfriend in highschool cheated on me. I cried for days. I thought I had forgiven him and we were going to get past it. But then i started to stray. After that I knew it would never work out. If my husband would cheat on me our marriage would be over. Even if he said it was a one time mistake and would never happen again I wouldn't believe him. I would always be worried he was going to do it again. Every time we fought I would worry that he would run out and sleep with someone else because he was mad with me. I would worry that if I did something wrong someone else would tempt him away again. I couldn't live like that.

it would really be hard for me to forget what happen. because it's not just about forgiveness.. i mean it's so easy to forgive, but it's the trust. It's so easy to trust someone but once that trust is tested, we can never really assure that we can fully trust that person again. And yes, the feelings being affected by betrayal, no matter how strong can still be weakened. Because trust plays a very important role in a realtionship, i think second to respect, this is really important. and Love should be third... well that's just for me anyway... in my own opinion!

Yes, a marriage can work after someone has cheated, my hubby cheated on me in 2005 and we are still together. We worked through everything, talked about everything and just got through it. I am more or less over it, to be honest with you it is weird how over it I am. Obviously I have my moments where I get a bit paranoid but not to any great extent, and I do trust him as well. The way I see it is if he is going to cheat again then he will, nothing I do or say will stop him like it did not the first time. If he does then I would not give him another chance but as it stands we are a lot closer through it, and we have a good relationship.

If only it's so simple...it's easy to say 'forgive and forget'. But when it really happens, is it so easy to forget? I might forgive him, and resume the relationship. But there will also be that little doubt in the corner of my mind (like you said - paranoid)! Trust, once betrayed, is hard to rebuild; and anytime that he's late, doesn't turn up or even went out-of-town for work/meetings, I'd most probably worry and suspect. All these anxiety, fear and insecurity will gradually wear me down!

Kind of, but not really. A person can forgive what has happened, but it is hard to forget when your spouse has cheated on you. I know of very few couples to have bounced back from cheating after it has occurred. Most couples do not seem to go on after cheating has happened.

Of course, it would always depend upon the individuals involved, but I think we could survive something like this. It would do a lot of damage to our relationship - I'd probably only stay if we successfully went through couples counselling. We've had major problems though, and are still pretty happy together. We feel we've outgrown a lot of the things that were the underlying causes of the problem.

Well for a married man it would be very hard to know that my wife cheated on me. forgiving maybe the last option for em to consider at the time of knowing that she cheated on me. I think that is what most men would hate to admit that they were being cheated upon by their wives. But in time, I really could not say that I would never forgive her for all the cheating. I would definitely not accept it easily but in time forgiveness first then maybe restoration of trust which is hard to earn back of course.

Hello Jenny40, I believe it is a matter of how much confident and trust you have in him. Yes, he promised not to cheat on you again, but how sure are you that he will not do that again? Well, if you have no doubts that he will change, then stick with him. If you have doubts, then better don't - you will not feel secure with him.

FOr me. it's hard t owork it out if someone got cheated...Specially in marriage...For me, if a guy'girl cheated once, he'she can do it again...Forgiveness is always there and second chance is always given but the hurtaches and pain you made to someone you cheated on is a forever scar in her'his heart...It's just like a glass, once you break it you can fix it but the trace mark that it is being broken once is there forever..In love also is like that,it's hard to forget if someone cheated you...even though how much you loved that person the heartache that he made will never forget..

in my opinion or if i was in that situation i would never believe in him again!!! its something like the trust i had on him is shaken and it cannot be brought back again!! trust once lost , is really hard to get it back again!! so each and every moment then after would be very difficult to spend with him!! cause it would definitely sometime or the other would remind him about his mistake!!

It hardly works in any relationship as far as I am concerned because the trust which you had on your partner will no more be there and it is very very tough to rebuild that amount of trust which you had previously. It is not so easy to forgive a person and change your feelings for him just because he has again changed. Once our heart is broken it is broken for ever. I feel so. Let the person really love us again more then what he has loved us previously, it takes much time for women especially to believe in such people. It is very hard for us to forget the past. People say many things to save the marriage, try to adjust etc. But one thing which we cannot change and which we can never compromise is our feelings. We are also human beings who have heart and it feels. We cannot trust the same person who has cheated us once again. And it is totally difficult for any person to change completely even that one can easily make up their minds to believe a person who has cheated. Cheaters themselves donot change completely. Hence, what I feel is just use our wisdom in deciding anything. we know very well what we want and what our heart really wants. we cannot live with a person whom our heart is not compromising or satisfied with.

I've read everybody's opinion and some are true! But in fact I agree with the last one, it is easier said than done. Has this happened to anyone? Have these opinions come from women who's husbands had cheated on them? I will state my opinion coming from my husband who actually cheated on me. I have been with this man for 8 years and we indeed got married. I figured after 8 long years and 2 kids this committed relationship would work! I tried through the fights, arguements, the who nineyards that come with a relationship. Except Cheating!!! Cheating on one another is the cruelest thing one can do to another. I believe when men or women cheat they are unhappy! But why keep taking them back and telling them that you will forgive and forget. Its only going to become a game to the cheater and they are going to continue to do it. If a man or woman is worthy enough to cheat then they are not worthy enough to be in a committed relationship. My husband cheated on me, and I did forgive him. Until he continued to accuse me and become highly insecure and start arugment for no apparent reason. He questioned me when I talked to one of his friends over a pointless converstation. These were signs, signs that I was blind to see. But in the end there wasn't happiness. This overwhelming aching feeling is always going to be in your gut. I prayed to go to lead me in the right direction with my relationship and asked him to take this man out of my life permantely if it wasn't going to work. It was a done deal, my husband left and we are going to go through a divorce. So my opinion to you, a marriage will NOT work after the spouse has cheated. ITs a cycle that is going to continue and continue and why keep beating yourself over something that wasn't your fault?

No it can't be dear, before you married and you encounter this kind of problem. And in the near future if you gets married, it'll still happen again. If this happen the first time, let him to have a chance to change, if he's willing let him be. If it happen the 2nd time, give him a change again. But restrict him a bit of his daily routines, this is to make him more prominent to you rather then commiting the same mistake again.

Once you discovered that you have been cheated, the feelings wont be the same again. Although your partner will seek forgiveness from you, you may be in doubt, or on in other words you may still remember what he/she have done previously. As for me once you are being cheated, stop it. He/she may tend to do it again and betray you.

based on my experienced it still works but it took me a lot of thinking..i had to go somewhere analyzing situations and come up with a good solution afterwards..i asked myself whats wrong with me, what's lacking and more questions lingering on my mind.it came to a point that i self-pity..but i must say that i really love my husband and he's sorry for what he did then i gave him another chance to proved that he's really sorry and i found out i'm still the love of his life.. just "forgive and forgets"..

Hi, It really depends on the situation,Like if the person says sorry and yet he is doing the same thing then I guess it is better to say goodbye rather than giving us mental torture and tensions.But at the same time if the person realizes his mistakes and he is trustworthy then I think it is better to give him a chance.But when u give the person a chance make sure that you dont bring back the past memories of the person as this would really hurt. Regards

You'll never know unless you have tried it. There are some that works, in the sense that they fully trust the other party and accepts all the humane mistakes one committed. For those that didn't take the risk, eventually it fails regardless on what effort one does to turn the tides of time and be able to correct its mistakes. It is said that love is sweeter the second time around, its also true that you'll never know what you have until you lose it. I trust you is a better compliment than I love you. For some who take the risk and start over again, they're happy, for some they're not. It depends upon the circumstances. But you cannot ommit the idea that once being cheated, you'll hesitate to give another chance and that you are afraid to be cheated again.

Honestly I'm not in any way involved in cheated relationships. But I'm speaking here as what I've seen and learned from friends, relatives who sorted this out. First of all I know it is really hard to forget your partner's misdeed especially about cheating on you, it's heartbreaking! And the thing is it won't be forgotten but fortunately you can forgive. Forgiveness of course is only given to some one who is really serious about asking forgiveness, how? Of course it will be tested through time and trials. Because you can't immediately know if he is serious about his plea. Especially if you are married it is even harder to let go of a "life" that you built or starting to build so I think it is fair enough to give him another chance...only one chance...to pave his way back to your trust. It is not easy for both of you especially on your part to trust again and not being paranoid about him. It's alright in this case and of course it shouldn't last forever. (I mean the paranoia) time will tell. But always remember one famous saying in America : "Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice...shame on me"