Guess What I found Out?

hmmm...do you feel that you already have the guts to confont him? the danger here is if you confront him about your discovery, he'll just come up with an alibi. and you'd end up arguing than talking. then he'd continue lying patching one lie with the other. probably, you can find a way for him to know that you know his activities. make him realize that you found out something over the net. then leave it up to him to confide to you. there is a bigger chance for him to confess his little secrets if you dont force him into talking about it. then when he opens up, be honest as well that you've kept printed materials of his emails. and make him realize that you don't mean to pry but you must do what you have to especially you are the wife--the least person he must lie to. i hope this helps. =)

Take it all with you when you go to your lawyer...I wouldn't even confront him, just surprise him with the divorce papers. You can take half of everything and get alimony and child support too...if he is looking to get fu*ked, you can shaft him pretty good LOL

What do you want to do? Stay with him or leave?

Wow, that is bad. I would be confronting him ASAP. I just don't even know what to say. If it were me I would be ready to kick his uhum. But the best way would probably to confront him calmly. I would suggest if you all are going to try to work it out to get counseling. The trust will be hard to build back up without help, I would think.

Oh dear God I'm really sorry to hear that..He lies although you have the evidence in your hand??Leave him...you are worthy to have a husband who you can trust of

My suggestion is, tell your husband a cooked-up story. Tell him that one of your friends have fallen in a great trouble regarding to her husband! Her husband is looking for girlfriends via internet. She could know this accidentally one day when her husband left the pc open and went out for office. After that, your friend has become frustrated. Now seek suggestion from your husband WHAT SHE(your imaginary friend) SHOULD DO! I believe this would hammer out a solution!

IMO you should confront him face to face. Ask for an explanation then discussion the reason why and try and resolve the problem. Obviously there must be a problem if his relationship with you is not enough and he has to search out other women!

[i]Hi slickcut, wow...That is very shocking! Hmmm...If ever I am in the situation, I will talk to him and confront why he is doing this! I don't like to pretend and continue to spy him! I need an explanation from him and what he wants in our relationship![/i]

I can not believe you're calm enough to write this knowing what you do. Keep it wrote on paper if you're cslling it quits, that's a piece of real good advice. I'd say you and hubby need to talk and I'd say A.S.A.P. Sorry to hear this I really am sorry.

Hi, i know how you feel right now. Printing out of those emails is a good move you did coz you have something to show him if every he denied it. You need to confront or talk to him sooner before it gets worst. Let him know what you felt after you found out the dating sites he have been on and telling that he is divorced which is his not, without nagging him. Ask his reasons why he joined and introduced himself as a divorced him. Don't blame him 100% coz maybe there are something with you he found out wrong. Give him a warning and another chance. If he still keep doing it, then maybe its up to yourself you what action you will do about it.

i am sorry you found that out but it's better to know as early as possible that he is doing these things & more thaa likely he is not going to stop & is probably doing the same thing in person. once a cheater & a liar always one in my opinion but i don't trust men anyway. have had some bad experiences myself w/them . i think once u lose trust in teh u never get it back. i would be asking him to find him a new place to live.

I feel so bad for you! I went through the same thing with my ex. Yes, I said my EX. He was just like yours. I found out that he had been writing to some of these women and actually MEETING them! Here's what I did. I put a 'spy program' on his computer. It allowed me to record everything he was doing on that computer. He didn't know it was on there because, well, it IS a spy program so it's invisible. You can only get into it if you know the password. I also set up a spy camera pointed right at his chair. I recorded him doing some, well, some not so nice things with other women online. Once I had enough 'evidence', I called him at work and told him that "Debby" had called. Then I hung up. "Debby" was one of the women he was planning on meeting. In less than 10 minutes, he FLEW through the door looking very pale and very, very guilty! It wasn't true about Debby calling, but I wanted to see what his reaction would be to that news. Once he was there, I literally threw copies of his emails and conversations on IM at him. He picked them up and looked at them. At that point, I told him I had video tapes of his online antics. The very first words out of his mouth were, "Please don't tell my family!" I had him right where I wanted him. I said, "Get out!" He did. He was gone by that evening. Oh, and his family DID find out... just in case he got weird and decided to do something really evil. Maybe I've seen too many of those cold case files on TV, but I know what some people are capable of, especially those like my ex and your husband! PLEASE be careful when confronting him! You don't know what he may try to do. He may think he has it made, since you gave him the roof over his head. Thinking he is going to lose that because of his stupidity, he may resort to the unthinkable. I'm not saying he would, I just want you to be safe! Make sure you have enough 'evidence' spread around so that, if he does try something criminal, it'll lead right to him. Give copies of his emails and those dating site profiles to your family. Give copies to HIS family. Tell him you have some ready to be given to the police should he try something criminal. Do this BEFORE you confront him and make sure he knows that everyone else has copies once you do confront him. It might not be a bad idea to have some of your family right there with you when you do this. He'd be less inclined to argue with you because he'd be even more embarrassed and chances are he'd leave right away. You'll want emotional support at that time as well. This man is no good. I don't care how long you've been married, he needs to be outta there! He has no respect for you. He doesn't deserve the honor of being with you one more minute! Please be careful!!! He may get desperate once confronted. Make sure you have your back protected and as many witnesses as possible! Afterward, come back here to your myLot family if you need support. You've been here awhile so you know that we're always here for you. We'll stand by you and help you any way we can to get through this.

Darlin', the boy is a player and he's playing you. Why would you even worry about how to confront him when you've learned all these lies about him? What in the world has he got that you would want to save when he's treating you like dirt? He lies to you, he apparently cheats on you or is planning on it, I haven't heard a single positive thing about him other than that he gives you his paycheck. It's your house? I'd serve him with an eviction notice and divorce papers - with your printouts attached.

first of all let me know how is he look after u? means the way that he was behaving with u? how is he helping u in life? simply how is the interaction between both of u right now?? so that i can help u to handle the issue

Wow that is really bad. I think you should confront him about this and maybe he should explain it to you well why he is doing this. I am a man but I feel bad that he is doing this to you. I smell something fishy about this but you must be calm about it when confronting him about this. I am pretty sure he has some kind of explanation for this one hopefully a pretty convincing one to ease you out of your tension and worry.

I know how distressing this must be for you slick. I hope you're ok. As I've been reading through your responses, I can't help wondering what you want out of this situation. At first you didn't know what to do, then you confronted him and he gave you his response but still, I don't know what you want to happen out of this. Another thing I was thinking about his answer when you confronted him. He said he was playing. I've done this. I joined Match.com when I was still with my partner. I had no intention of getting involved with anyone, but I was curious and interested. I don't know what I would have done if I had gotten close to someone. I wasn't serious about it...I was playing. I kept it from my partner too. I was rather lonely and he was more interested in sports on TV and his whiskey. I think your guy is never going to be able to settle down with anyone and be honest about things. He's always lied and he probably always will...does he have a reason to lie? Is he afraid of you? Of course not. In my country, the house will belong to both of you if you are married. I hope things work out for you.

That is so horrible... (in my own opinion)... I think you should confront your husband as soon as possible. If he's not happy with your realtionship, fooling around is definitely not the solution. If he wanted to have another woman then better talk to you first. He has no right to do that to you, for whatever reasons. If he used to lie at you then he's not worth to be trusted then.

Slickcut, this is so sad and I truly feel for you. I can imagine how horrible it must have been to have discovered the things you found. I'm so glad your house belongs to you - and seeing as your husband has called himself 'divorced', maybe you could ask him whether this is what he'd like, because you're willing to make his wish come true! He says he's just playing - but ask him how he'd feel if you were doing the same thing? Would he be happy about you playing? You have the power here - so be empowered, and do what YOU want to do. If you want him gone, tell him to leave. If you are willing to let him stay, you will have to weigh up whether you can stand being lied to again. It's a very unpleasant predicament - but now you must think about your future, and your wellbeing. Good luck!

You must confront him as early as you can about this issue, don't let the things make worst.Maybe he just playing around but if he tempt to do something wrong your marriage is at risk.Ask him why he is doing that,considering that he is married to you and ask him if you weren't enough to do flirting on him.cheers!

If you would ask me, i would collect all the evidences, prepare your self to all the things that might happen, its up to you if you want to end your marriage or what... and after that give all the evidences to him, make him realize what he have done and ask him what have you done why is he cheating on you...