I hope when I reach my 70's and beyond, I don't get angry

I have observed this in some people as well. It seems that some people go through life thinking the world owes them something. When they're young it comes out in subtle ways but as they age they feel entitled to not just speak their mind but to be just plain rude and mean. I have a cousin who is basically a good guy. He's always been a bit selfish and self absorbed but has a good heart and will go a long way to help people. I've noticed that the older he gets (he's now in his late 50's) the ruder he gets. Just a few months ago our band was looking for a guitar player and I asked my cousin if he'd mind filling in for a few gigs until we could find a permanent guitarist and he said he would. Great! The first gig, he didn't like the way the drummer played and started insulting him, on stage, in front of the crowd! I couldn't believe he would be so mean. Well the drummer finished out the night but quit the band the next day. We got another drummer and had another gig a few weeks later. Right after we started playing he started in on this drummer! Then started in on my husband who was playing bass guitar. By the time we got to the first break I was furious and everyone in the band was upset and completely bummed out. I grabbed my cousin and took him outside and read him the riot act about his behavior on stage. He told me, in these exact words, "I'm 56 yrs old and entitled to say any damn thing I want to!" To say the least I was stunned by that statement! After a few well chosen words thrown back and forth for the entire break we went back in and finished out the night. It was very tense on stage for the rest of the night and it showed in our performance. We fired him of course and me and my husband haven't spoken to him since. Relative or no relative, I don't need that kind of stress in my life. I have no problem at all with people speaking their mind or expressing an opinion in a blunt and straight-to-the-point manner. I am that way. But their is no excuse for being hateful and mean. Life is just too short to hate and purposely try to hurt others. Age is definitely no excuse. Somewhere along the way I think some people lose the ability to be empathetic. It underlies a basic selfish characteristic in their personality. They disassociated themselves from what most would call understanding and wisdom and because of their age or experience they believe that their opinion is always the correct one. Others who disagree or of a differing opinion are just plain wrong in their minds. Such selfishness and close-mindedness always comes forth in hateful and rude behavior. Unfortunately it's not just the old who show this, anyone of any age who becomes close-minded will refuse to understand opposing opinions and express it in a hateful or rude manner. They simply don't care what anyone else thinks or feels. They are right, you are wrong... end of story. It's sad when age doesn't bring wisdom. It seems to me that we spend our entire lives trying to understand the human condition, our purpose in life, and at the time when that wisdom should be our biggest asset and boon to our families and society in general, a few people just blow it. I don't know how to counter something like that, as I said it's more than likely that these people have had a selfish streak their entire lives and don't know how to be any different. No matter what you say to them, in their eyes you will always be wrong. Very sad and rather pathetic in my book.

I suppose it must be pretty common, considering that the "old curmudgeon" is such a stereotype, but I just don't see it all that much. I think people are just far less likely to put up a front as they get older. If they've always been angry people, then they just let the anger show more easily. If they've always been positive and upbeat, that just continues. I'm learning as I grow older that it's easier and easier to speak my mind and be who I am. I've got one more year before I can join the Red Hat Society, and then look out world - I'm going to wear purple and shake my cane at all you young whippersnappers who think you know it all ;)

Some granny people are easily get mad/nasty because maybe they think nobody cares for them anymore.Little mistake can easily get irritated. To counter this problem,one should always talk to them and make them feel that they're not alone.Getting older is an excuse to be nasty??..DONT KNOW..We'll find out when we get there..

Well there are a lot of reasons why elderly people are moody. One is they actually goes back to their childhood. Some act like a kid and are very emotional. They easily get hurt when you say something that they didnt like to hear. It is a type of illness among elderly people that cant be avoided. They are not physically healthy and they started to experience a lot of changes in their body that makes them irritable at times. It is something that old people can avoid.Some old people who experience alzheimers disease can be moody too because they cant understand anymore things like normal adults do. So those behaviors you notice about elderly people are things they never even wanted to feel. It is a health related problem.

I think old people get crabby beucase they like things to be quite and they like there stuff the way it is thats the way i see how they get angry.

It really depends on what the person experienced and what he went through in his life. If he was someone who did not have many obstacles, he is successful and has no reason to be angry about anything. If he had a hard childhood or many obstacles during his life, he most likely gets angry at absolutely anything because he wants it to be his way because he suffered so much and had to go through tons of pressure. When you mentioned that you were taught to respect your elders, you gave me a good idea. Since most elderly people get furious at about anything, people are taught to respect them, so that there would be less anger. This is also a way to counter it because when you respect the elders, they feel better. I hope this makes other people think about this topic.

Cyn, can I ever relate to this and I tell my family all the time to give me a good swift kick in the a$$ if I get like that when I get old! My mom, God bless her, is 91 and she was always the meekest, most mild-mannered person on the planet but the past few years she's turned into quite the pistol at times. She has NO patience for anything and she's never satisfied. I stay with her and she needs more care all the time, which I'm not complaining about that, I'm so glad to still have her, but her stubbornness drives me up the fricking wall at times. She probably never said certain curse words her entire life until the past few years but now she drops the F-bomb ll the time. Come to think of it, I know what brought that on - George W. Bush and the D1ck Cheney...lol! I used to watch my mouth out of respect for her but since 2000 the two of us have a ball calling the dimwit and the d1ck dirty names. Sorry, I got off-topic a bit. To try to answer your question, I don't know if it's something physical or mental in the elderly or what but my daughter worked in nursing homes for years as a CNA and she said it's quite typical. Maybe for some they figure they've spent a whole lifetime trying to be nice and now that they're old they think they've earned the right to let it all hang out! Annie

Hi Cyn..Funny you should mention this..a friend and i were talking today about stupid things ( makes the time go by faster..lol..)and one was about as we get older we tend to do what we want in speaking our mind about things...when we were younger and spoke up for our rights, we were told "get out of here Hippies" and now that we are the old ones we tend to not care and not in a bad sense say honest things to people..I'm a happy person and have lots of people come in my store and chit chat with me about anything and everything...I was raised to respect my elders but alot of young ones now will say sarcastic things..so being that i love to call someone out and they came into my store i let them know that "I see they were never taught to respect their elders"..of course that lets them talk back to me again..so i say "well when you find them you can come back, but until then there's the door..I didn't invite you in..you came in on your own free will but this place expects manners and that you don't have"..you may think thats rude for me to say but i feel no one probably ever put them in their place and if they talk to strangers like that..What kind of talk do they say to their Parents? Teachers?.So yes i will be open with my talking and feel i earned it..this isn't hateful since i loathe that word, but its honesty and respectfulness that if i can get one or two young ones to change, then i feel i did a bit of good! Huggs

no, idon't think that's any excuse at all. i'm 65 & i still get angry , maybe not as much as i use to but i think people have a right to get angry no matter what age they are. i try to be as pleasant as i can to everyone & iwould like people to do the same for me but it doesn't work that way sometimes. some people are just ill & hateful & it isn't always the older people. i just try to stay away from people like that. they aren't going to ruin my day just because they are mad at the world.

Hi Cyn, do you see that a lot? I've seen bitterness, and I've also seen sweetness in old people. My aunt and her husband are in their 70s. They live in Canada; he's a retired language professor. Every year, he is invited by foreign universities, friends, former colleagues and students to give talks or to visits to other countries. They would stop by over here, to visit us, especially my dad, who's my aunt's brother. We love having them around - they share their vast experience with us - they are so entertaining and wise! Their lives are busy with their family (3 married sons in Canada) and their work/travel. Each time we part at the airport, we'd feel very sad! I have also seen bitter people, but not necessarily older people. Young people can be just as bitter. I believe it's not age - it's the attitude we have in life. No one owes us a living - to be happy or not, is up to us. What do you think?