Raising High Maintenance Children

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I have a 13 year old daughter who is very high maintenance. My other two children are easy going. I always dread clothes shopping with her because I know how picky she is going to be. I didn't raise her to care that her clothes were Hollister, Amercrombie & Fitch, American Eagle, etc....but I guess society, along with kids at school, give her that attitude. She will not wear ANYTHING from Wal-Mart (even though the rest of us have no problems with it). If I find name brand clothes at a consignment shop or Ebay, I have to lie to her and say that I got it at the real store before she will wear it. Of course, she questions "where are the tags?" "when did you go to that store?" Oh, and the biggest burning question of all....."HOW MUCH DID IT COST???" This really grates on my nerves! I should mention that her dad and I divorced 7 years ago and although we have joint custody, she picks up attitudes from her now step-mother. I have tried and tried to put a stop to her behavior, but it's going nowhere fast. I am afraid of what things will be like when she turns 16. Everytime she is with me, my husband and her siblings, she always expects things to go a certain way for her....special priviledges, special treatment or demands that I can't meet. Without realizing it, perhaps I gave into her too much after the divorce and since her dad remarried. I find myself being afraid that if she doesn't like being with me, she always has another home to go to live (with her step-mother and dad). It's easier to say "fine....just go live there if you don't like it here", but I do believe divorce plays a part in the guilt that is sometimes felt. To make matter worse, her step-mother doesn't seem to understand that I am the Mom. She claims both of my 2 children from my first marriage as HER OWN. There is nothing wrong with treating them good and being there for them, but most of the time, I am having to remind her that I gave birth to these kids....NOT HER. It's not a great situation, I know, but it is a daily struggle I have to face. It wears on me....physically, mentally and in every other capacity. I couldd hang on to the hope that one day (in a few years) she will meet the man of her dreams and it will be HIS problem. But would I wish that on anyone? Even my worst enemy??? Can any of you relate to having a high maintenance child (or children) for whatever reason? What steps do you take to try to correct the selfish behavior they exhibit? For those who have raised children like this.....is there really hope? Do they ever realize that what they are doing is very self centered and isn't a very attractive characteristic?