How will you know you're ready for marriage?
By geekyjock
@geekyjock (371)
Philippines
September 6, 2008 12:41am CST
I always ask myself how will I know I'm ready for marriage; psychologically, financially, mentally, emotionally. I've been in this great relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years now. We're in our mid 20's and marriage is always a topic in our conversation. Our relationship with our family is well. But my GF's family is an old school conservative thinkers. We can't go out of town together by just our selves and things we wanted to do regarding just the two of us unless we get married. But I still have some plans and goals I wanted to have before I get married like become the breadwinner of my parents, achieve a certain amount of savings (not easy to earn as free lancer). To be honest I think I still don't have enough savings, I think I couldn't support my aging parents yet if I get married, and I think I still can't support my GF if ever we bind our lives at this point. Maybe that's the reason why I think this way. But I really want to be with my Gf already. ANy advices?
2 people like this
17 responses
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
6 Sep 08
I think it is easy to see whether you are ready from the financial matters or not. As long as you have a decent job or at least a regular earning that can support you and your new family, it means you are ready for a marriage (from the financial matter).
But psychological, mental, and emotional is not something that you can see easily like financial. You know when you're ready just when you're not in a rush to do it anymore. You're ready when you have think about the worst case in the marriage, and you're ready when you have solved all the problems before the marriage, so the marriage is not the end of the relationship but the brand new life.
You know you're ready when you can think about life more mature, when you care about every aspects and not only rushed because you love her or something. You're ready when you prepare everything, have the long term planning and work hard to achieve it. Can you do that?
@geekyjock (371)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
yeah thnx it made me realize that only money is the only issue with this matter...besides i saw your profile and you're also from the Philippines so I think you know how hard to live in our country is right now hehe
1 person likes this
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
6 Sep 08
Well.. I am not from the Philipines actually. I am from Indonesia. But I understand the situation because money is the main problem too here in my country. That is why I emphasize much in the financial planning before you get married. You're welcome, and thank you for rewarding me with the best response :) Good luck with your girlfriend, tell me when you get married, send you the best from here :)
have a nice day
@cuichaoing (14)
• China
7 Sep 08
I think I will be alone for along time
So,I`ve no idea to answer you....haha
1 person likes this
@geekyjock (371)
• Philippines
12 Sep 08
Haha it's ok maybe sooner you'll have answer for me already. Maybe you still haven't found your mate but if you have found it I'm sure you'll have detailed answers for me ciao!
@DeborahGalasso (275)
• United States
6 Sep 08
Its really not a big deal im 23 and been married for 3 years been together for 5 and nothing has changed, we struggle finacially sometimes but its cheaper than just supporting my self, theres 2 incomes now! lol We are still cuddling and lovable towards eachother we are like good friends. Live with the girl first, because that was almost our break up then we got use to eachother and accpeted eachother. You get your moments where you dont want to be around eachother but it happens, you get over it.
1 person likes this
@geekyjock (371)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
Interesting point there. no offense but I saw your profile and you live in the US right? Maybe it's different in my case and in other cases like some folks who also live in a third world country. I'm not ranting it's just that making a living in my country isn't as normal as it sounds. Lets make a sample, just for everyone's info, imagine this.... in my country the minimum wage that is permitted by law is about Php300 per day (so that makes it about $6.60), and lets multiply it by 26 (working days subtracted Sundays)
so that makes it Php7,800 or less than $200, and renting a decent home with studio type apartment costs atleast Php6000 (about $170). Just the rent, not including the food expense, transportation expense, utilities expenses.
My point is that living in my country, even if you have a decent white collar job, it is still not enough to make a decent living. That is the reason why we have great worries about money, marriage and of course having children. Because it is that worse here. That's the reason why we worry so much. But any way thnks for your advice and You are very lucky to live in a livable country
@mari123 (1861)
• China
7 Sep 08
marriage is something that we have to think of in our dailylife, we must consider before marriagement
1. do you have financially capable?
2. the emotionally is capable?
3. Did you already know each other well?
if you already want to be with you gf or bf, think also that you have to sustain good relationship and good lige even after marriage. so plan everything.. make his or her proud of you through your wise decisions. Remember that it is better to express your love by planning for her good and you future kids
i am 25 years old,but I still don't want to marry.beacuse i don't want to lose my free,and don't find my lover . so i want to marriage when i am 30 years old/
1 person likes this
@ehlsie (730)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
As long as you achieve your goal, you become stable in life and you already helped your family that's the time you can marry your girlfriend...It's better to acomplish all your goals before you build your own family..Be sure you're ready for bigger responsibilities being the man of the house...Me, and my boyfriend also want to get married soon,, but it will only happens if you acomplish all our goals before getting married. If your girlfriend loves you, she will understand you and she will wait for the right time to get married.As of njow, you have lots of dreams you want to do before getting married to do it first..It is also for your own sake and for your future family..
goodluck!
1 person likes this
@geekyjock (371)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
thnx for your response. presently that's my game plan but I'm just afraid of her being confused but she said she understands. anyway thnx!
@annettenasser (2992)
• Kuwait
6 Sep 08
Ready to be married? aside from being pregnant already or your parents catch you with your man, and so on,,, marriage a matter of promises and commitment.when you are ready to die whatever happen just to be with him, when you are ready to leave your life and share it with him no matter how it is.To forget all the luxury and think all the possibilities to be happy and build a happy life and children with him,to forget the luxury of vacation and shopping if your man cannot give it to you.if you can always learn the most delicious food that your man love to eat.
@jammyt (2818)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
Well, you will just know. Don't think about the savings or you'll never get married at all coz you'll always think that you have not enough savings. Getting married also means you have someone to share your life with.. that goes for the expenses too, most of the time. If you say you are in your mid 20s, then I can say that you still have time. Guys usually marry a bit later than mid 20. Why don't you have a heart to heart talk with your GF so that you can see where this is heading. Also, she'' understand your issues and not think that you have no plans at all with the two of you.
Don't sweat it. It will come, you will feel it when the time is right. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@nasohail3 (355)
• India
6 Sep 08
yaa offcours yaar if you aree responsible person then offcouse u can married but the thing is u have to settele first ur life with financial and dicission in ur family and u should handle any suituation in ur family then only you can totally perfect man for marry best of luck
1 person likes this
@wenczmastah (640)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
Here is what i would suggest, i havent been through a failed marriage before but here it goes.. First off, don't rush it. Date for at least three years - if you don't want to wait that long, you might be getting married for the wrong reason - i.e. your getting married to be able to say " im married" instead of because you want to be with the other person for the rest of your life. that's all i can suggest.. happy mylotting and continue posting here at mylot.. hope you'll have a happy life after your marriage
1 person likes this
@lemayan (188)
• Germany
6 Sep 08
if your ready for marrying your girlfriend then you should go ahead and do it, if you wait too long then the moment might pass you by, dont think too much about finances because its not possible to cover all the grounds at the same time and anyway i dont know any married couple that does not complain about issues whether financial or not, people always have one problem or the other, so saying that you will wait until you make the money then it just might take you too long,its an important step you want to take in life and i believe that God never gives us something that we cannot handle, pray to God and focus on your goals and am sure you will be able to support your parents as well as your girlfriend
1 person likes this
@megaman2000ph (343)
• Philippines
7 Sep 08
Ready for marriage is a great task, you must have money, savings and of course love for your partner. Steady job is important in marriage because it is the foundation
for the support of your partner. I think the hardest way is to let loose of your girlfriend if you want to be a breadwinner to your parents. The bible says that you should take your parents first if you still haven't married.
@rodelbulan (594)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
Hmnnnn. Hi dude! I think you have started a nice discussion... because mearriage is something that we have to think 100x! Anyweiz, consider the following before you decide to enter on it:
1. Are you financially capable?
2. Are you emotionally capable?
3. Did you already know each other well?
and you know what, if you already want to be with you gf, think also that you have to sustain good relationship and good lige even after marriage.. so plan everything.. make her proud of you through your wise decisions.... Remember that it is better to express your love by planning for her good and you future kids... If you are meant for each other then you are meant to be... and do the planning with her... it is a difficult but exciting way.. It will make you even more closer.
Anyweiz, I am not yet married.. but those are my principles (I am only in 20's!
lol)
I Hope, I be able to help you with my principle! Keep lovin' keep planning' keep dreamin' keep mylotting! Have a great day bro!
@iceblizzard (749)
• Philippines
7 Sep 08
Your ready for it.You even get ready for it when you are financially stable and when you girlfriend got pregnant (lolz).
@geekyjock (371)
• Philippines
7 Sep 08
Haha nothing like that...we are very careful about the pregnant thing
@Jul14nch0 (1414)
• Argentina
6 Sep 08
Hmmm, when you discover that you really love her and when your economy is okay to sustent a familly..
@DAVIDHU1985 (32)
•
6 Sep 08
OH just let preparation get to hell.
Don't plan anything, we came to this world without any preparation,and now here we are.don't think too much,just let it come as you coming this world.
