Do Not They think about their Child while Separating in Relationship
@sweethomecatring (1563)
India
September 6, 2008 10:54am CST
I am starting this discussion for the Children Separated Parents. I hope you will cooperate me raising this very important issue. I have come across and there are discussions at my lot also on this point. The separating couples due to their vested ego do not care and think what will happen to future of children they produced and leave them on the mercy of nature. Though one of the partner shall have the custody of children and when they indulge in some other relationship both they forget what will happen to their own child. The children have their own emotions and desire to have parental care and need help to grow up. Such situation can dumb their growth and put them to the agony of society. Some times such children have to see for the charity of others and when they are grown up and going to school they are seen and treated differently by the teacher and student in particular and society in general. Thopugh ;the various courts of law award compensations and orders but such compensations and orders can not bring back their proper grown up and pleasures of life. They can not return their smiles for life.
I think such parents are required to dealt in differently in society and should be socially discarded.
How do you think about these children and couples please discuss and comment for leading this further.
3 people like this
8 responses
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
7 Sep 08
If for some reason the parent no longer can stay together their first priority is the kids. I am divorced since seven years, and the firts thing on my mind was make shore the kids are OK. Never use them as a battle betwen us, and make shore they feel the love from both of us. The kids should not have to pay for the parents ego´s. And I feel like You when it come´s to the sociaty, the parents should have to pay if they can not get seperated in a god manner. The government should be involved, take care of the kids interests and make shore the parents have a god behavior.
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
7 Sep 08
I believe most parents love their children, even though they don't love each other anymore. And splitting up a family would be one of the last things in the minds of most responsible parents.
However if the couple have to stay together for the sake of the children, what do you think would happen? Children are very smart, you know. You can't hide the truth from them - they will see a lot of hostility, hate, coldness or sometimes quarrels and fights. Will the children grow up happy in such an environment? Or would they grow up with this picture in their mind, that all married people treat each other badly, with no love at all?
I've seen a number of these cases - the first few years are difficult for everyone, when the couple separates. However the situation improves - the parents are on talking/friendly terms, and the children accept that, even though their parents are no longer married to each other, they still love and take care of their children.
1 person likes this
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
6 Sep 08
I think you are vastly mistaken about the nature of divorce and separation. Not every couple who procreate together should be required to stay together. In most cases of divorce, it's a far better situation for the child to not be in such a tense, volatile or even violent environment of having both parents under the same roof. My parents divorced when I was 16 and never a day goes by that I wish it didn't happen sooner. My father was violent and self-centered and cruel and my life was miserable until he left.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
7 Sep 08
I'm not really sure that I understood your point here correctly. I do think that most parents, if separating, do think of the children and do want to work together to make sure the child suffers as little as possible due to the seperation. I do know that some parents bring other partners in and out of their childrens lives and yes, that is not good at all. Most single parents do try hard to be good parents and involved in their children's lives. If a parent is neglecting their child or children, it should be reported. Just because a parent is single, however, does not mean that the child is losing out, being looked at differently etc. Many, many kids are better off in a single parent home than with parents who are bitter and miserable!
1 person likes this
@zeny_zion (1283)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
no one likes a broken family. but if the situation is asking for it theres nothing we can do. specially if the husband is really irresponsible and a cheater. why not?
1 person likes this
@ProudMommy22 (705)
• United States
6 Sep 08
this blog is very intersting to me. However i know all about this. When i was younger i wasnt even one yet and my so called father left and of course my mom rasied me and my brother by herself and i sore to never actually do that to my kids but thats also happend to me. My oldest son his father never had anything to do with him from the get go and to this day denys him so i dont worrie about him none what so ever and my youngest son his father helped me raise my oldest son even though it wasnt his which i was actually greatful on that. Not to mention My youngest son is very well taken care of by his father as well as me even though him and me arent together. We communicate to make it easy for the kids but yet also work things out or try anyways. But To me i dont think its right for any child to grow up with only one child i think its unfair to the child but yet its just something that happens in life.Just got to keep moving and letting your children know they are loved no matter what.
@relundad (2310)
• United States
6 Sep 08
Most parents do consider their child and how it relates to their marital status. However even when considering how it will effect them, doesn't automatically warrant that his/her parents staying together will be the best situation for them.
I personally think that the damage or the effect that it has on a child can be just as bad or worse, if the parents stay in the relationship just because they have a child or children. I would much rather see a child grow up in the home of one loving parent, than for him to witness bickering, fighting and dysfunction of this magnitude.
For instance if a husband is abusive, you can't tell me that the best situation for the child would be to watch this growing up. You can't tell me that the best thing for the mother to do is stay in that marriage because she has a child or children.
Two parents does not warrant a healthy environment as an automatice. There are children that have been raised by total strangers and grow up to be healthy well rounded people.
As parents we always want the best for our children, unfortuantely that is not always what people and society deem as perfect.
1 person likes this
@liyanne (41)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
If it's just a petty quarrel or a fight over a small thing, couples should always consider their children first.. we will always know which things or issues can still be fixed or not.. But if its a really big issue, and they keep on fighting over the same thing.. its better to separate because in the end it will still be the kids who will suffer because of the trauma of the parent's fight..
1 person likes this
