Music is rarely relaxing to me!

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As a musician, I actually find it hard to relax to music. Yes, yes, I know. That's like going against the law of the universe or something for a music lover! Thing is, when i listent to a piece of music that I really love, my kind of music, it usually makes me buzz. It's a good feeling but not relaxing. I also find that when I'm listening there's a subconcious undercurrent of thoughts such as: oh I've played this one before/haven't played it, I bet I couldn't play this, I think I'll try to learn this one, I'll never sound that good though, I remember hearing this when I was in America/Africa/ when I was in a relationship with XXX.....and so it goes on. I struggle to do the whole 'getting absorbed in the music', transe-like thing. There must be someone out there who feels the same. I'm not saying I don't ever relax to it, just that it doesn't come easily. I find it easiest to relax to music that has no/few emotional connections or that doesn't really mean much to me. It's usually classical pieces or hypnotic sounds CDs that work. Even with the classical stuff, I get drawn into imagining myself playing it, as if that's the only way I can get real enjoyment from music, from being involved in it. That's a big point for me actually. I either want to be playing it or dancing to it or something. Just staying still and listening isn't enough. So come on, hit me with it. You all think I'm weird. You couldn't imagine a better way to relax. There has to be SOMEONE who gets where I'm coming from!!!