Is it the thought that counts or do actions speak louder than words?
By joy4you
@joy4you (641)
India
September 8, 2008 9:13am CST
Is it alright if your partner knows you love them but you don't express it physically (atleast not all the time) or would you prefer your partner always buying gifts for you or doing something special all the time but never really discussing their thoughts or feeling with you.
Another example,
If your partner gave you a gift on say your birthday but also gave the same gift to someone else, would that gift still hold the same value for you? would it still be special?
4 responses
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
8 Sep 08
I think that when you're in a relationship for awhile you come up with ways to express your love that are comfortable to both of you. My husband and I have a routine of ending phone calls with "I love you" and we tell each other that before we go to sleep at night. He does things around the house without being asked that show that he loves me since I work all week and he is retired. Sometimes he buys me special things that show he's thinking of me but it's not a requirement. As far as gifts go, if he bought me somthing for my birthday and bought the same thing for someone else, that person would be a relative, so I don't think I'd have a problem with the vlaue of it to me since I know he loves his family, too, so yes, it would still be special.
@joy4you (641)
• India
8 Sep 08
Thanks for the response, so the moral of the story is that it is the thought behind the gift that counts. But then again those thoughts should only be for you alone else it would be cheating.
Perhaps if I gave an example it might put things in a different way,
If I gave my wife a rose on valentines day but gave a rose to someone else on her birthday then it would be ok, but if I gave someone else a rose also on valentine day then it would be a betrayal of the thoughts behind the gift to my wife? If my wife found out wouldn't she be hurt? Would everything be alright if I told my wife I love her and this other person is just a friend?
Sorry for stretching it like this but it's another way to look at things perhaps and make the discussion more interesting.
Thanks once again. happy mylotting
@coolkeeva (38)
• India
8 Sep 08
well its not dat lov can only b expressd physically............n gifts r just of token of appreciation of hw much u actually love dem.
but if u r givin d same gift to ur spouse n even to som odr person den der does arise a lot questions.................since givin d same gift means havin d same feelin for 2 peopl..........n dis accordin to me is cheatin!
it will definitely lak d very essenc of givin a gift to som1 spl................i guess duriin deez tims u really need to hav a clear cut talk
@ibiswas (422)
• India
8 Sep 08
I think when you are in any relationship then you will automatically have your own ways to express your feelings. For me understanding and love is the key ingredients for a successful relationship to survive. If you miss out any then your relation may fall apart. Buying a gift for each other is just a token of love or just a way to express that you care... Even if you don't get any gift and somehow make the other individual feel your presence at all times, i think that will be more precious to behold than a gift.
The gift for me will always be as precious even if the same gift is being gifted to someone else by my partner. I think the feeling and compassion behind both the gifts has its own meaning at its place...... :-)
@ProudMommy22 (705)
• United States
9 Sep 08
Well it really depends on the situation. The thought is what counts for the most part but then again actions can speak loader than the words do. Do its just all depends really. But for the example you gave id say no it wouldnt mean as much because they didnt think enough to get me something different than they got someone else.
