Who pays on your dates?
By whywiki
@whywiki (6066)
Canada
September 8, 2008 2:08pm CST
When I was growing up, the boy traditionally paid when out on a date. As I got older I felt really uncomfortable allowing men to pay. I much preferred to go Dutch. (splitting the bill) That way there was no pressure. I also feel that women for years fought for equal rights and now that we have them we should be equal and why should the man pay. On the other hand if a man wants to pay then why not let him? I'm glad I am not still in the dating pool, I hated it. Anyways I met this guy the other night who had gone out dancing with a date at the bar. He said she said she had no money with her and he said he hoped she liked to dance! The date ended. So now I wonder what is the etiquette or the norm these days when dating. Who pays?
2 people like this
27 responses
@oyenkai (4394)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
We split the bill most of the time. He prefers that he pay for the date but I couldn't let him. I don't like him to think that I'm only going out because it's for free. On the occasion that I DON'T have enough to go on our date, he insists that we still go and assures me that I'm covered.
I think it's a good deal. I like being treated on dates (more like I like treats PERIOD) but I don't like it when he spends too much on me, I feel like I'm abusing him.
Women did fight for equality and we're getting there. It's only strange that we want equality but we value chivalry. I guess it's really tough for men to understand us women.
@mistakesss (436)
• United States
8 Sep 08
I feel slightly weird when almost anyone pays for me (besides parents/brother), but, usually the guy pays for me. I have offered before to pay, but, I had one guy who just wouldn't let me. It is somewhat nice when they want to, but, I don't know - I just feel weird :P
@mistakesss (436)
• United States
8 Sep 08
It just seems not right to offer and assume they're going to foot the bill :P
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
9 Sep 08
The person who did the asking, is the person who pays. Sometimes, it is half-and-half. I have pay for his sometimes when he has asked me out, and he has paid for mine sometimes when I have asked him out, but those cases are rare. It is mostly whoever does the asking is the one that has to pay.
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
9 Sep 08
I believed that I paid on our first date because I asked him out. I knew he was far too shy to ask me out, so I had to do the asking.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
9 Sep 08
Like you, when I was growing up it was the guy. Then when I got older if I had the money, I'd go dutch. There were several times I insisted on paying my own b/c I could tell the guy wanted to pay so he could try to take it out in "trade" later...not gonna happen. These days I'm married but if I did date I'd make sure before I went out with anyone that I had enough money to pay my own way so I didn't have to hope the guy would.
[b]**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~ [/b]
@godpower1k1 (424)
• United States
9 Sep 08
i pay when i am on a date ... because i don't like someone else is paying ..
@platinum601 (276)
• United States
9 Sep 08
I think splitting the bill should always take place unless your married.
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
9 Sep 08
Hello whywiki,
I am not dating anymore but when I was, most of the time the man would pay for me. Once awhile, I did pay for both - just to show that I do have money and I don't depend on their money to pay my bills 
But like you said, if the man wants to pay, why need to refuse? Most of the time, when I was on date I will wait for a clue whether the man would pay or should we go Dutch or the worst, I have to pay for both!
But like you said, if the man wants to pay, why need to refuse? Most of the time, when I was on date I will wait for a clue whether the man would pay or should we go Dutch or the worst, I have to pay for both!
@Bluepatch (2476)
• Trinidad And Tobago
9 Sep 08
The guy pays unless he really doesn't have any money in which case you might go dutch or the girl might agree to pay.
If the guy tries to take advantage, which could easily happen, then the date could also end.
I'm not sure about a dating pool.
If you want a date just ask someone.
Why use a pool ?
@mimico (3617)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
I guess it depends on where you are and who your date is. If your in New York then you go dutch for sure. But in more traditional countries such as Japan (don't quote me one this! I just think that Japan's traditional) then the men still pay. Another factor to consider is the guy and the girl. If one has more money than he other then I suppose it's fine for him/her to take care of the expenses. I myself would offer to pay for my share, but I always secretly hope that the guy will refuse my offer. :) I also know for a fact that whoever asked for the date in the first place should pay.
@jfilips (261)
• United States
9 Sep 08
I once when out with a girl buddy, she told me that she didnt want me to pay her ANYTHING, I asked her why........ I am the one who invited _!
She said she didnt want to owe me anything lol... anyways later that night she spent a lot of money cuz the place we were at was really expensive. After that day she hasnt gone out with me alone again LOL! but we are still buddies =d
@joy4you (641)
• India
9 Sep 08
I think men should also let their partners pay sometimes as it makes them feel they are also contributing. With friends it might be better to go dutch or pay alternately but without counting or keeping accounts about who has paid how much. An example is if a group of friends went out and one of them was not well off financially, but was not allowed to pay his share then it would always remind him of his state and make him/her miserable and they may not want to go out again. There has to be good understanding between everyone.
@nicecedron (235)
• Canada
9 Sep 08
well for me, thought i havent tried serious and formal dating yet, i think its really sweet if the guy pays for everything for a first date. i find it cute that for a first, the guy makes all the effort to make the girl happy and to make her feel like a princess. but as they do dating again and again, itl be of no issue anymore of who pays and who dont :)
@FID11o0 (8)
• United States
9 Sep 08
The lady always pays or I refuse the date. This is the new millenium, times have changed. But I guess they have to pay with me being a male escort and all. If they try to skip out on the check, I let the Madame know. She then sends her enforcers to collect the bill. I think that is the proper etiquette nowadays. With normal people that aren't in the escort service, I think it is best for the man to pay. That improves his chances for getting some action after dinner, if you know what I'm sayin'.
@hmbw_24 (404)
• United States
8 Sep 08
I think that mostly the men still pay. Although I know women often offer to chip in in some way...for drinks or gas and things like that, but most guys still insist on paying. Before i was married i had no problem letting the guy pay or chipping in a bit if i had a feeling i need to!
@keeping_jeremiah2911 (160)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
When me and my boyfriend were still in the stage of courting me, i didnt rely on my boyfriend always to pay for our date. It would be better if i'm going to share an amount with him.
@punkix (658)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
well yeah before it was more traditional as in the guy pays for everything but today, people are more liberated and it depends on the availability of funds with the people. i agree that its better if everything is split in half when it comes to paying bills, dates, etc. or if the guy doesn't have much for now, the girl can pay first then the guy will pay for the next right. everything can be sort out easily on a basic agreement :)
@baileycows (3665)
• United States
9 Sep 08
My husband is a tight wad so if I want to go out and eat I usually end up paying for it. However when we were dating he paid for it alot. I guess he feels like he is getting his money back now.
@ehlsie (730)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
When me and my boyfriend go out for a date, usually he's the one who pay...But sometimes i'm the one who pay it...Or sometimes we shares for that date..It is just give and take..If who has money he/she the one will pay if not, both..
happy mylotters!
@strossuss (125)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
me and my girlfriend share the expenses, not just on dates, we share our money, so my money is hers and vice-versa, the good thing is we are both very thrifty so we don't argue about money.
