Being a Twin, do you feel that your relatioship is unique?
By leenie50
@leenie50 (3992)
United States
September 9, 2008 12:05am CST
How many Twins do we have here in Mylot Land? Being a twin, I have always felt that our relationship is so very unique compared with my relationship to my other sister and brothers. There are nine of us adult kids. I love each and everyone of them with all my heart. I would do anything for them. My twin sister and I are so much alike and so much different all at the same time. She is very self centered. Life needs to be all about her, no matter what. Growing up I was always in her shadow because otherwise there would be a conflict, all of which I tried to avoid. You see she would always win out, and most of the time the situation wasn't worth fighting for. But for her, everything is worth fighting for. We are 58 years old and she still needs everyone to see her as the prettiest, the smartest and just the best at everything. She must be the center of attention. I never needed that spotlight. I just needed to be my own person. Well my twin thinks I need to be like her. For the most part, I have learned to ignore this or stand my ground. After saying all that and leaving much more out, I truly love this other part of me. No, we are not identical but we couldn't be more alike in our similarities. We are always on the same wave length. I would give my life for her. I cannot imagine her not being in my life.
So, does this sound familiar or is it totally different from your relationship with your twin? I really want to know.
leenie
2 people like this
4 responses
@rosedust82 (2066)
• Philippines
10 Sep 08
Hi Leenie... I don't have a twin but I do have a sister and we're alike and opposite in a lot of ways. I think that's normal among siblings. Are you and your sister identical or fraternal twins? I'm glad that even if you do have a twin, you were and still are able to stand out with your own personality. There are some twins who want to really be alike and people have such a hard time telling them apart. At least with you, even if you're not the type to be in the spotlight, you get to be good at other things. Do the two of you fight often? It has to be hard in a way to have a twin but with the looks of things, you're standing your own ground pretty well. 
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
10 Sep 08
Hi rose,
Being sister's, whether twins or not, is a very special thing. As we grow up, we should be learning how to be individuals and learning how to share our unique experiences. If we cannot share then we cannot grow together. That's the part I miss with my Twin. We are fraternal twins but seem more identical in so many more ways. Elaine doesn't even realize how insecure she is, so she will never be able to overcome it. Therefore I feel like I have to be strong for both of us and not hold her insecurities against her. thankfully, I have never wanted the spotlight, Elaine just always thought I did. That is something else she will never understand. But that's OK, because I do. Thanks for responding rose.
leenie
1 person likes this
@rosedust82 (2066)
• Philippines
10 Sep 08
That's sad Leenie... You're right, we all have to grow as individuals. Your twin is lucky to have such an understanding sister in you. I guess she'll have to learn that the hard way. Just keep doing what you're doing Leenie.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
9 Sep 08
[i]Hi leenie,
wow! I admire you for being tough to handle her and being kind also for all those years to her. ANyway, I am wondering is she was insecure that is why she wants all those attention!
ANyway, I have no twin and in the family, we have only one twin, my first cousin's son..They are deaf but very talented and handsome! They are very opposite though but very identical! One if very friendly and entertaining and the other one is aloof and snob![/i]
1 person likes this
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
9 Sep 08
Hi Che,
Thanks for responding. Like I said, we are very much alike. Yes, she is so insecure with herself that I know this is what makes her do the things she does. When we are together, that's all that matter's. We love being together, but look out because anything can bring out that insecurity and she can turn on you in a flash. Fortunately, that doesn't happen too much when it is just her and I because there is no audience. Together we laugh our fool heads off. So we do have fun.I just wish she could be happy with herself. xoxoxo
leenie
@frankiecesca (2489)
•
10 Sep 08
I am not a twin but it does sound very special - I guess that having a twin brother or sister is one of those relationships that only you two or other twins can understand the bond fully. x
@frankiecesca (2489)
•
10 Sep 08
That is such a shame about your sister in law - I hope you and your sister have many more happy years together! : )
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
10 Sep 08
Hi Frankie,
It's so sweet of you to respond to my discussion. It's the first one I've done in a while. I'm usually too busy responding to my friends posts.
You are right. We do have a bond that is like no other. I can say that because of my other sister and brothers all of which I really love and admire as individuals.
The exception or maybe I should say, the closest I've seen to a twin bond is my huband and his sister. If you didn't know them of course you wouldn't see it, but I have. She passed away from lung cancer 2 years ago last Monday. My husband and his sister had this remarkable relationship. They constantly communicated by phone and we frequently visited. And to see those two talking was like watching two different people with almost the same mind. To this day and maybe always he often doesn't know what to do without her. It breaks my heart because I can relate to that. I know that if I lose my twin I will suffer as Dennis does and more. But for now, I just need to keep her close and love her. Thanks for responding Frankie. xoxoxo
leenie
@censae (72)
• United States
10 Sep 08
leenie, you are so absolutely on the money. The relationship that I have with my twin is so very complicated and yet so simple at the same time. I know her heart and her mindand vice-versa. This becomes a problem for me if she tells a fib or tries to be coy about something. That is very stressful for me. The same holds true for her relative to me. The one thing that you always know is that you always have some one there for you. There may not always be aggreement, but the adverse reaction is always filled with total knowledge of the other twin's desires, fears, or other emotions. The support is incredible.
The relationship I think between twins is God's example of the true ability for forgiveness and the love and patience that it takes to sustain a human relationship. It is a special one and harder than most sibling relationships. beca There is a constant dynamic balancing, sharing,and call for individualism going on.
It is difficult to put into words without others missing the spirituality connected with it. I would like to talk more about it with others. censae
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
12 Sep 08
Hi censae,
Welcome to mylot. It's really nice to meet another twin here. I love the way you seem to have a grip on the relationship you have with your twin. As you said it is complicated and also so simple. My twin is so overbearing most of the time. I find myself trying to keep up with her and have to bring myself to a quick halt. It does become very stressful and exhausting. The main thing for me is to maintain my understanding of drives her to be the way she is and that is her extreme insecurity. The sad realization is that she may never understand that about herself. We'll talk more again I hope. Being a twin is like no other relationship. It definately has it's ups and downs.
leenie
