how do you tell a friend to stop hurting and start healing?
By lajaded1
@lajaded1 (96)
United States
September 9, 2008 3:39pm CST
i have this friend who was in this relationship with a married man for 5 yrs she spent all her time waiting on him she never got to spend holidays,birthdays or any thing special with him not even one night she gave him her everything! she changed alot in her world for him to make him happy and now feels totally alone in the world he told her that he would be her friend after all her devotion to him and now he wont even answer his phone well she cried and cried and told me her sad story and she fell hard for this guy how do i tell her to stop hurting?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
9 Sep 08
Tell your friend that the guy isn't worth even a pinch of hurt that she's feeling right now. Tell her that she invested a lot of her self in that relationship that went nowhere with a guy who pretty much took advantage of her and now she should invest in turning her life around for her own good.
Knowing that your friend spent 5 years of her life with this guy, it might take a while for your friend to get over this. I hope I am wrong. But it seems like she's been blinded by her "love" for this guy that she can't see how one-sided the relationship was for all those years. Just be there for your friend. It's to your discretion whether you be upfront with your friend about her situation. I did. My friend went through a similar experience and I finally told her that we can't do the healing for her. She has to do that herself. I couldn't take seeing her cry anymore so I had to be that friend who says the truth that hurts but would help her out in the end.
@lajaded1 (96)
• United States
22 Sep 08
i told her it was all for the best she has to believe that she is worthy of someone who would love her for her and know that she is a warn open person. i also told her that it was going to be tough but i would be here for her.as part of her boo hoo crew i would support her
1 person likes this
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
23 Sep 08
Thanks for the BR, lajaded. I hope your friend is doing much better now even though it's only been a few weeks. Just keep on being part of her boohoo crew and supporting her. You are being a very good friend. Take care!
@jessica4red (41)
• Romania
9 Sep 08
as a great friend that you seem to be, i think you should tell her that life is short and that she should find someone that really deserves her love. be sure to remind her these things every day.she needs someone to help her let go. in time, she will heal. that's all you can do, because she needs to realize what's best for her alone. i hope she'll find someone who'll make her shine :]
