My boyfriend is pressurring me to join the army?
By flyrichgirl
@flyrichgirl (22)
United States
September 10, 2008 3:05pm CST
I need some advice, I been with my boyfriend for three months we live together, he is a nice man, he is 15 years older than me. I think that he likes me alot but, he wants me to join the army. I don't like the idea of joining the army, because I hear many people say that you will be shipped to another state and I also hear people say that you will have to go to war. It makes me mad because my boyfriend said that he loves me but if he love me why would he want me to join something like the army? He said that the army has good benefits and the pay is good, but if a guy really love a woman why would he want her to join something like the army, anyway long story short do you think this guy really likes/loves me or do you think that he is trying to get rid of me? And is the army a good thing to join?
3 responses
@Damien2213 (90)
• United States
10 Sep 08
If I loved someone the army is the last place I would want to send them in fear of them getting killed in duty. I certainly think the Army has to be a choice and that is why I'm not in the favor of a draft. It is true the army pays you for your time but what you will not hear is the horror of getting your deserved benefits especially if you become disabled. The whole VA does not work properly in our system right now. I would never suggest it for someone that doesn't want to go and I would certainly tell you that you shouldn't go for your boyfriend. What if you join and he decides to break up with you? Where does that leave you at? I think the Army can be a good place to join if you want to join but it also has its down sides. I think you should do what you want.
@Damien2213 (90)
• United States
10 Sep 08
You are very welcome and if you feel the need to talk about it anymore feel free to message me.
@flyrichgirl (22)
• United States
10 Sep 08
Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend wants a woman to take care of him, like one day we were in the kitchen and he said "when you become rich and famous, I want you to buy me ferri" and he continued to say that he will be a stay at home dad. So at times he make me feel like he is with me because he wants me to take care of him, plus he has 2 kids from to different women, and I guess he wants someone to help him take care of his kids.
@mynameismine (771)
• United States
10 Sep 08
I would show him the door myself if that is how he is acting.
If you go into the military at this point in time with how things are overseas there is a very good chance one of your very soon change of addresses will be well outside of the US (I'm assuming you are in the USA).
Has this man made any kind of commitment to you or does he just see you as a child who needs to grow up (and he thinks this is how to do it). With the fact he is 15 years older than you it sounds more like a parent child relationship where he is treating you like the child instead of his girlfriend and the grown woman that you should be.
You are the one who would have to live with the decision so whatever you choose it would be very wise to get all the information before you sign your name on the dotted line with any branch of the military. It isn't a choice to be made lightly and definitely not one to be made for you by someone else.
@flyrichgirl (22)
• United States
10 Sep 08
Yes, I am in the USA, and you are right I think I do need to show him the door, but see I have a problem, I live with him, so I guess I just need to try to save up enough money and then I will show myself the door. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
10 Sep 08
LOL I don't think he is trying to get rid of you I think he is looking for a free ride. From what I have heard about the army he would never have to work if he married you and you joined the army. If he loves you, he would not pressure you into anything and if he loves you, he will take your answer and drop it.
