Cutting

I try not to flaunt the fact that I'm emotionally inadequate... but you just genuinely need to want to stop, and you need to have extraordinary self discipline. When you feel like cutting, try to divert your attention to something else, something productive hopefully. Knitting, drawing, playing Fish Tycoon, whatever. As long as you're not damaging yourself. Also, if it feels like you can't get your feelings out, make a blog online. I find I keep up with mine a lot more than a regular diary, really only because I type faster than I write. And if you need to, show your blog to people who care about you and who you want to know how you're feeling. Hope I helped.

From the time I was 15 up until about age 18 or so I had problems with self mutilation. It started with burning, something very few people have ever dealt with. I would burn my wrist with a hot lighter because it helped me to clear my head. Eventually my parents found out about it and they took steps into finding me help. When I was in 11th grade they sent me to an out-patient treatment center called American Day. The program itself lasted only about two weeks. I enjoyed the time I spent there, I was with about 6 or seven kids my age who all dealt with depression and most of which cut themselves. We all became pretty close and the time we spent there was more just fun than anything. In the long run though, I think it did more bad than good. It wasn't soon after I got out of there that I started to cut myself. One night I put one cut into my leg that was so wide and so deep that you could see the fat of my leg through it [I know...disgusting] It was then that I had to tell my parents about the cutting...went to the ER and got five stitches in my thigh. I went through many different things after that...constantly running to anything sharp whenever I had a problem. Stopping was hard, yet not as hard as I thought it was going to be. One day I just said that was enough...I will never do this again. A few days later I went out and got a tattoo on my wrist...near the hundreds of scars on my arm. I look at the tattoo whenever I get some urges and it basically just serves as a constant reminder that I said that was enough, and I'll stick to my word. I'm not gonna say I still don't want to sometimes, But eventually the urges faded out. I'll be 21 soon, and I haven't hurt myself in almost two years now. I realized slowly that you can't depend on other people to make you stop, or even to keep you happy...you have to do it yourself. I won't go into the happy-go-lucky etc. right now because its not like that. There are still plenty of times I think about it...plenty of times I have to stop myself from that automatic reach for the razor, but it does get easier. I have a daughter now myself...three months old, and I know one day she'll see the scars I have on my body and she'll ask me for an explination. While I can't take back what I did...at least I can take pride in myself for stopping. So anyway, if your daughter keeps you from doing it, then I would say, spend as much time with her as you possibly can...and eventually your urges while subside even when she's not around. If you truly don't want to do it...then tell yourself you won't. Good Luck

I don't cut myself or really understand how it all works. I'd rather hurt others before I would hurt myself.

What do you mean? I'm not sure what you do. Do you cut up anything from anger?

I had a friend who's daughter did this but it is very hard for us non cutters to understand. I also watched a show on it, they basically said that cutters have trouble letting out emotions and feeling and expressing their pain and the only way they can feel it or let it out is to cut, is this how it is for you?