Stepdaughter may be joining us now too!
By foxyfire33
@foxyfire33 (10005)
United States
September 11, 2008 9:46am CST
Not that we really have room for a 10th person in the house right now but she is having problems with her stepdad and school so she is thinking about moving back up here. She's a really good teenager so we're actually excited about the possibility. S/o told her she is welcome to come anytime and that he'll be happy to drive down(3 1/2 hours one way) to get her. If she comes up it will be sometime during the week of the 19th-25th. At first she'll have to share the big bedroom with her brother and his girlfriend because we can't get the other room ready in a week's time but she'll have her own room in another month or so. Plus the in-laws will be moving out so that will free up their bedroom as well.
She's 16, does good in school, is responsible enough to take care of herself at home and hold down a job or two (plus she actually saves her money for important things, just from her summer jobs she saved over $1000 towards her first car and she doesn't even have her learner's permit yet!)
Anyway...have you ever had a teenage child decide to move to be with the other parent? At what age would you allow them to make that decision? Would it make a difference on what kind of child they were or why they wanted to move?
3 responses
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
12 Sep 08
Maybe a change of scenery is just what she needs! She sounds like a wonderful girl and could be a good influence on your younger children and even maybe the stepson and girlfriend. Show them how a responsible young adult acts.
I don't think it matters what kind of child they are. If they need to move from one situation to another in an effort to get a fresh start and be successful, then you must give them that chance. I think 14 or 15 is a good age to let them decide to move in with the other parent if there is a good reason.
About a year and a half ago, my stepson decided he wanted to go live with his mom in another state for a while so he could study for the GED uninterrupted. She is Bipolar and I had my doubts, but he was 19. She came to pick him up and charged him $80 for the ride to her house 4 hours away. He was there for 2 weeks when he called and asked if he could come home please. He said that she didn't give him any time to study. Every day she handed him a list of stuff she wanted done. She treated him like a personal servant. He even arranged to have one of his friends drive up and get him. My point is that he was old enough to make his decision and mature enough to know it wasn't the right situation for him.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
11 Sep 08
[i]Hi foxy,
I haven't tried any situation like that..I have no kids and hubby also has no kids out of marriage and even now!
But, if ever, I am in the situation, I will be very glad also to accept her, she seems very responsible and determined kid! I admire your very great heart to have them in your house! I know it's a great help for her to be away from stepdad, it's not healthy for her studies and work when she has no good relationship with her stepdad so better stay away![/i]
@sudalunts (5523)
• United States
11 Sep 08
I've never had this happen, but I imagine if the teenager is responsible like you described your step daughter there should be no problem. If she was leaving the other parent, in this case her mother, because there was discord in the house because of her, I would think twice. You did not mention whether you had children or not, but if she was leaving the other parent because of negative behavior, I would be concerned about my other children, and hope she would not be a bad influence on them. I believe that you should always give someone a chance first, and this move might be just want she needs. It must be bad there with her step father for her to want to leave her mother.
