How would you feel if your son/daughter told you he/she was gay/lesbian ?
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
Canada
September 11, 2008 11:54am CST
What do you think your first reaction would be ? Would this be hard for you to handle or do you feel that you would be able this like anything else ? Would you still accept your child ? Would this be harder on you or your partner or would you feel the same ?
My best friend and I were discussing this , just this morning and we both no that we would still love our children but we felt differently as she said it would not bother her in the least and although I would still love my child I would be upset and it would take me some getting used to . Not because they were gay or lesbian but that I know they would have a harder time in life. I know my husband would never accept them as his children again and I would be disappointed as I would know there would be no grandchildren but I would never ever turn my back on my child for something I don't believe he/she has any control over . People are so judgemental today that you know your child would have a harder time in life and for this I would find it hard . I want my children to have a life of happiness and if this were to make them happy then I would be happy but I realize that others would be more judgemental and this would make things harder .
How would you react and why ?
9 people like this
17 responses
@babygurl03 (268)
• Canada
11 Sep 08
It wouldn't bother me it wouldn't be there fault if they were that way . I'd be understand and accepting of it . I don't have any kids yet but when I do this would not bother me in the least although I would be hurt for them cause I know how the world is and discriminating against gays and lesbians .
3 people like this
@moneyman123 (194)
• Canada
11 Sep 08
I don't know how I would feel . I don't have any kids yet but i hope this never happens cause it would be hard on them cause people can be so mean to others that are not like themselves and they are scared of what they don't understand and this would make it hard on the kids .
3 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
11 Sep 08
I love my children. I love them enough to know they can make their own choices. I would not be hurt or angry with my chilren if they told me they were gay. i would be shocked, but after the first minute i would put my arms around them and tell them how much i love them. how brave i think they are by telling me something like that, and i would put my arms around them and hug and kiss them
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
11 Sep 08
Very nicely said :) Thank you for your response .
2 people like this
@TakeThisName (769)
• Canada
11 Sep 08
I wouldn't care if this happened . I have lots of gay friends and they are all really nice and they are no different . I dont' have any kids yet but don't think this would boter me but you are right it would make it harder for them and for this I would feel bad .
2 people like this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
11 Sep 08
I'd say "ok, thanks for telling me." I don't see it as being an issue. Probably if one of my children is, I'll already know long before they "admit it". Do "straight" people need to confess their sexuality to their parents? No, because generally it's obvious. I don't see the difference.
As for being worried about them having a harder time in life? Well I'll worry about that regardless of which gender they decide to love. Gay people may have their own set of problems but they don't own the rights to all the problems of the world. I wouldn't even think about the possibility of not having grandchildren because first of all I created human beings not baby makers, and secondly there are a lot of ways to become parents so the traditional male/female relationship is not necessary.
2 people like this
@Feona1962 (7526)
• United States
11 Sep 08
Hi sam...
I would not care if they were gay/lesbian...I just want them to be happy..And if they are happy then it doesn't matter what others say...It is sad when others do judge someone because they choose something else in life...
I have 3 cousins that are gay..They are from the same family..My uncle had 6 kids..five boys and 1 girl..3 of the men are gay and 2 are married with children..one of them does have Aids...and has had Aids for 15 years or so...the daughter married and has two sons..
I have other cousins that are gay/lesbian also...
I can understand the grandkids part but if my kids are happy then that is all that matters...
1 person likes this
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
12 Sep 08
It is so sad that others feel they have the right to judge others . I am really sorry to hear one of your relatives has Aids .
Thank you for your response .
1 person likes this
@rogue13xmen13 (14402)
• United States
11 Sep 08
I will love my child no matter what he or she tells me. They cannot help who they are. I know that it is genetic, and I know that it can happen. When one of my cousins came out of the closet, her parents and some of the elder family members were unhappy at first, but many of us were proud of her and we still loved her no matter what because she is family. Today, she is helping take care of her brother who is mentally disabled, and she makes sure that he gets the care that he needs. No one ever judges her because we know life is not easy for her. If your child comes out, remember that you gave birth to that child, and that he or she is still your child. They did not wake up and say, "Hey, I would like to be gay today". No, it just happens.
1 person likes this
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
12 Sep 08
You are sso right and she sounds like a very special person . Thank you for your response .
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
11 Sep 08
No matter what my daughter ever does she is my flesh and blood and although she is my only child I would think this way regardless how many children I have. I love my daughter unconditionally and if she did something bad or very wrong I wouldn't just be hurt or disappointed then turn the other cheek. I would do what I had to do to get her help, counselling or whatever she needed at the time. I guess if she told me she was gay I'd be a bit disappointed but I would never ever stop loving her. She is the thread that holds me together at all times. I couldn't be without my daughter and she's already 36. Her birthday was Tuesday Sept.9.
1 person likes this
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
12 Sep 08
Very nicely said thank you for your response .
1 person likes this
@mattcassethan (226)
• Canada
12 Sep 08
This would not bother me at all I love my children unconditionally and like your friend I would not be upset at all . I dont' believe taht anyone has the choice in who they like and who they don't like and would hope that others would not judge my son or daugher and if they did then my son or daughtere would not need them in there life as they would not be good friends with someoen like that anyway .
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
12 Sep 08
I understand your concerns because as parents we never want our children to struggle or suffer. Thing is, they will and the most we can do is be there for them for support. If they are not judged for being gay, it will probably be something else, unfortunately. You have to work to teach your children to love and respect themselves for who they are from a very young age. Still, they will hurt when others reject them. I think the ones that suffer the most are the ones who grow up in families that are judgemental. They don't even get support at home from the ones that are supposed to love them unconditionally.
1 person likes this
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
12 Sep 08
You are so right !! Support should come at home first before we can expect others to support this . Very nicely said .
Thank you for your response .
@lemayan (188)
• Germany
12 Sep 08
i have seen gay people on the streets in the disco and it doesnt really bother me, because its another person and its their life and their decision to be gay or lesbian,but if my child came to me and said he or she we was gay/lesbian, i think i would faint.......ofcourse it would bother me its not an easy thought to diegest. i think it would take a long while for me to come into terms with it
1 person likes this
@megaman2000ph (343)
• Philippines
12 Sep 08
I think if my son is gay or my daughter is lesbian I would accept that because its not their fault of who they are. Even animals are homosexuals, I think gays are aware
that they are gays even in their childhood but if I have a son like that I would tell
him to do anything he wants of being gay but on one condition- don't be have relationship with another man.
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
12 Sep 08
I beleive you are right , thank you for your response .
2 people like this
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
11 Sep 08
I would not have a hard time with this as I accept everyone as they are. If my son or daughter came to me and said that they were gay I would just tell them that if they are happy then I am happy for them. and things would be no different.
1 person likes this
@oyenkai (4394)
• Philippines
12 Sep 08
I think I would get hurt, that would be my initial reaction. However, it will not last. I have gay friends and gay aunts and cousins. I like being with them. I think it's just all this taboo and societal expectations and all that crap that makes me think that I'll get hurt.
But then maybe my views will change in the future when I actually have kids. My faith does not approve of gay marriages and I've seen the theology why. I still want to learn more about the issue.
@medney1988 (560)
• United States
11 Sep 08
while i don't belileve that homosexuality is right i wouldn't love my child any less. she would know that what i thought was wrong but she also know that i would support her no matter what. i would still be there for her
1 person likes this
