SAH mom's budget strategy
By pinkytabor
@pinkytabor (818)
Philippines
September 12, 2008 12:00pm CST
As a stay at home mom, i actually do not have any single cent to budget. My husband keeps the money. He is the lone breadwinner, he keeps his income and i just ask him to buy this and that or whatever we need for the house and for the boys. I do not have savings, i do not have "emergency fund," i do not have any single cent in my pocket. If something happens or some needs arise, i can always go downstairs and ask his mom (that's what my husband advised me to do.) I do not do the groceries, nor do i buy my own clothes or anything personal that i need to buy. However, i do not have problem with this because i never go out of the house anyway. ANd if i go out, i do not know how to speak their language, nor am i familiar with the town here. If i ask my husband if he has money or how much he has left, he'd ask me, "why? do you need/want something?" He'd ask because he'll buy anything i would ask for. But i never ask him to buy me anything i want, only things we need. SO that's what he buys. I have completely no idea how he budgets the money or if we have any savings, or emergency fund. I do not know how to approach him on this matter. I do not want to upset him for he might think i want to control the finances/his spendings. I want to ask for an allowance, but then he might ask me what for. I want to have a savings for my own and for our boys.
I want opinions from stay at home moms on this matter. I need you to tell me what i need to do and to advise me on the most reasonable and wise approach to settle this matter with my husband. Thank you moms.
2 responses
@2minicoopers (239)
• United States
13 Sep 08
Wow tough situation. I am a SAHM and my husband is the breadwinner. He brings home his paychecks and hands them to me, I deposit them, I pay the bills and I decide what goes into the savings etc. We both have access to the money at all times but also both consult each other before either of us make a purchase to make sure there are enough funds, or even to just make sure we agree it's a reasonable purchase.
I feel that when you are married you become one, this means the money, the possessions, the bills, what is mine is yours and yours is mine.
I know a lot of families that are set up the way your family is but most of the women are not okay with it. I don't think I could be either. I think if I were you I would have to go to him and tell him how I feel that he somehow doesn't trust me because he can't share access to his money with me. Let him know that you realize he is the one working and making the money, but you are a family and it's "our" money not just "his" money. You should NEVER have to ask his mother for money, you are his responsibility not his mothers. I've always felt that a marriage is not really a marriage until you can share everything. Sorry I couldn't be more help, I wish you the best with this one and hope you come up with a solution that works for you.
@pinkytabor (818)
• Philippines
13 Sep 08
This is really though, i know. My husband is not a selfish person and he is even the most giving/generous person i have ever known. It's just that he might be having some issues on this matter, or this is the way he's brought up...i really don't know. I hope he might not think bad of me when i bring this matter up with him. I also have issues because i am not used to asking for money, i used to earn my own money in the early years (past two years) of our marriage. THings have changed now that i have become a SAHM.
@Luvxoni (135)
• United States
12 Sep 08
I'm not a stay at home mom, but I hope one responds to this question. It's almost like you're living in prison without the bars. Your not even in the family picture you posted....
I'm male female thing, because his mother has money to give. I hope you get to keep your mylot earnings. Your kids are beautiful!!
Can you tell him that you'd like some pocket cash of your own, it doesn't have to be much since you do don't go out. Sorry I couldn't be of more help.
@pinkytabor (818)
• Philippines
12 Sep 08
I don't need just one reply, i need a lot of different point of views on this matter. Well this is not exactly a prison. I have a choice to go out. I choose to stay home because of my two beautiful boys. And with regards to the photo i posted...well, i was the one who took that picture. It is actually "me" in a symbolic form of the word. Thanks for your response anyhow.
Happy MyLotting (hope you can PM some of your friends who might have a say on this matter) :)
