BULLY PROOF -- ever been bullied at school ?
By gabbana
@gabbana (1815)
China
September 13, 2008 12:25am CST
Bullying takes place in every school: According to a nonprofit resource center for parents in Minneapolis, on average, one student in 10 is bullied at least once a week, and one in three has experienced bullying as either a bully or a target during the average school term. The children most likely to experience bullying are in fifth, sixth and seventh grades. Boys are more likely to be involved than girls
There are three types of bullying. It can be physical (hitting, kicking, taking things or returning things damaged), verbal (name-calling, taunting, insulting), or emotional (shunning, spreading nasty gossip). It is deliberate and hurtful behavior, usually repeated over a period of time. Bullying is almost always done to kids who are perceived to be more vulnerable than the bullies.
The fear of being harassed in school gets in the way of learning, and makes going to school a miserable experience. Being bullied can make children feel lonely, unhappy and unsafe. Children who are being bullied may develop stomach aches, nightmares, nervousness and anxiety.
What Parents Can Do
If your child complains about being bullied at school, or if you suspect that might be happening, here are some suggestions.
Make it clear that you accept your child's reports of what is happening and that you take them seriously. She needs to know she has someone on her side who is willing to help her. Today, you are her hero.
Reassure her that this situation can be resolved.
At the same time, let her know that you do not think this is her fault. Her confidence has already taken a big hit, and she already feels like a victim.
While it is natural to want to protect your child by solving the problem for him, it will serve your child better if you teach him how to solve the problem himself. By learning the skills to stand up for himself, he can use them in other situations.
Ask your child how she has been dealing with the bullying, talk about what else can be done and discuss what actions you can both take to solve the problem. Reassure her you will consult her before taking any action.
Teach your child how to respond to a bully in a bold, assertive way.
Practice with him at home by role playing. Participation in other activities builds confidence and develops social skills, making it easier to find ways of saying, "Leave me alone."
Suggest that your child stick with two or more other children when at the playground, the bus stop or wherever she comes face-to-face with the bully.
Make sure your child knows it is okay to ask for help from a teacher or other adult. Practice what he'll say so he doesn't sound like he's whining or tattling.
2 people like this
8 responses
@peace2006 (2)
•
14 Sep 08
Thank You for this very educational article you wrote gabbana (906). It is good to know what parents can do to help their children who may be getting bullied at school. Sincerely, peace2006
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
14 Sep 08
I have always been fearful of being bullied and for it to become a regular occurrence so when I was still in school, I made it a point not to run from any fight and to make my fights spectacular like, I never fought with smaller guys. I always took on the bigger ones especially the bullies and I would defend a smaller guy being bullied. Bullies don't like being stood up to.
@Bluepatch (2476)
• Trinidad And Tobago
13 Sep 08
I was bullied almost everyday of my school life.
I never got used to it and I always hated and tried to avoid it.
I believed that was how it always was in a school.
At least in your country they try to do something about this.
@skbh12 (2946)
• Philippines
13 Sep 08
i have been bullied during my younger years preferrably during the kindergarten days. i remember the days i were like facing the mean girls and they have thrown my things in the trash bin. i got shocked when a classmate of mine told me that my things were thrown in the trash bin. of course since i don't have a fair skin complexion, i am being teased a lot. but now, i don't really care about it that much and that i am now working, it is about me showing them how successful i have become. haha!
@gabbana (1815)
• China
13 Sep 08
well, sorry to hear that, and meanwhile, your experience is also interesting. it's no big deal for us now since we are adults already.
i don't remember i was bullied because even though i was not tall and strong as a bull, i had a qualified "bodyguard"-- she was my classmate, the oldest and strongest girl in my class. she and me lived very near, so we went to school and home together everyday. besides, her brother was famous for bullying, so no one dare touch me or trouble me and his sister.
lucky was i, right? :)
@carpexdiem777 (37)
• United States
14 Sep 08
I think bullying should definitely be something the school boards should put an effort on stopping. It hurts children, and actually ends some of their lives. Its so sad to see a kid go down, when a bigger badder kid caused it, while he potentially could have done wonderful things
@gabbana (1815)
• China
14 Sep 08
you have a point there. school should take the responsibility. i once read an article dealing with this trouble. there are few school which is trying to handle it. but they don't know how to distinguish bullying from playing somethings because they watch from a distance.
anyway, such responsible schools are few after all.