Long engagement, anyone?

Hi nik00lai... It is said that a typical engagement period, from the time of the marriage proposal to the actual time of the exchange of vows, is usually 8-12 months. For some people long engagements are for reasons such as: military service, finishing college, saving up finances or even family matters. For some it is choice taken to prepare themselves better for a married life...getting to know the other one's habits or idiosyncrasies, likes and dislikes, finding out about your partner's family as a blessing or a curse(?). Married life is a wonderful stage and dynamic it will always be. Where you can find yourself to grow actively with the person you are engaged to through life's many trials will reward one a good marriage. So the engagement is but a means to the end...to be married. A long or short engagement matters only to enrich your relationship...to be true to your relationship in each stage of the process, whether those stages be in days, weeks, months or years apart. Happy mylotting...

Knowing someone need lifetime effort. We are a complex creature which cannot be understood by only some periods of time. Even, you yourself probably do not know yourself better, or you need years to really recognise who you are; so how about others who's grown up in different culture, different style by different persons than you. So, short or long engagement does not determine the quality of a relationship; but the most important thing is a strong love and commitment in each person in the relationship. Love and commitment can conquer all, they can handle any kinds of differences and any kinds of conflict between couple.

My husband and I have been married for 4 years now, but before that, we have been together as a couple for 6 years before we got married. In our case, long engagement worked. I got to know him better, learned about his flaws and realized that I could live with him even with his flaws. Knowing your partner in and out helps you know what to expect when you do get married. Though it may not guarantee a life-long commitment, (cause some people do break up after 20 years of marriage), at least it will help you survive the firt 5-7 years. About your question why people still divorce after 20 years of being married, I think it is because of the simple fact that people change. Throughout the years, as we age, we never cease to learn about things in life that may change or develop us as persons. And when these happens, our beliefs and expectations in life also change. So, what we have at the moment may no longer work and we tend to look for something else. This is a sad truth but it is not always the case for all couples. While others break up after long engagements, some do stay for it for a lifetime. And I hope mine does.