are children scared of you?
@sutanhartanto (4122)
Indonesia
September 14, 2008 11:24pm CST
when i still a child, in my village live a guy. let's call him mr. doe. he is a nice and 'normal' guy. he is just a little bit mentally retarded. mostly he act normally, just sometimes, very rarely he act ridiculous and it implied his hidden situation.
because my place is a small village and there are not enough entertainment there, people would get anything available around to entertain them. then people started making fun of mr. doe every time his recurrent ridiculousness comes. it's getting worse when people started thinking that mr. doe was insane. the mothers took advantage of that situation. if their babies or kids cry, they would just say, "don't cry, otherwise mr. doe will come and take you!" and it worked well! the children would stop crying once they were told that mr. doe will come.
since that, mr. doe's life was getting harder and harder. the last news i hear about him (i don't live in the village any longer) is his death due to an accident. he climbed a coconut tree, and somehow he lost control of himself and fell 
.
to make this a discussion, well, are you scary children in that way, to stop them crying? or are children scared of you? is it fair to get someone like mr. doe to get your children stop crying?
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to make this a discussion, well, are you scary children in that way, to stop them crying? or are children scared of you? is it fair to get someone like mr. doe to get your children stop crying?1 person likes this
4 responses
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
16 Sep 08
Well... since we lived in the same country and experienced the same culture, I know the point of the story. I understand that many mothers usually use the urban legend of some place to scare children to make them obedient. It is an easy way to make the children stop crying, get home on time, not playing around in the dangerous area, stop yelling at home and sleep before 9 p.m.; just by saying that someone bad (in your case is Mr. Doe) will come to get them.
I think it was bad. Not only that it would become a traumatic experience for children. These children would learn that someone like Mr. Doe is bad, in fact being mentally retarded doesn't mean that he is bad. But because it has been there on their mind since they were kids they believe it as the truth. It makes them learned not to respect people with some mental problems like Mr. Doe; instead of scaring children why don't mothers tried another approach to taught them the right thing to do? Teaching with lying would be two contradicted things.
To be honest children used to be scared of me because I used to hate children. I hate them because they are noisy, annoying and filthy. Yes, filthy. But since year ago, I learned that it's their nature and that is why they needs more attention. I learned to like children and somehow after I like them, they are no longer afraid of me anymore.
1 person likes this
@sutanhartanto (4122)
• Indonesia
16 Sep 08
hello klaudine 
very happy to see you here, responding this topic, despite the broken grammar and inconsistent tenses LOL. ooops, no, i am not underestimating myself. this discussion is an accident. i posted it in hurry....well, whatever LOL
i totally agree with you. telling the fake story is not the best way to teach the children. in the early years of their life, children mind is like sponge. they absorb anything they receive; especially the imposed 'facts' which are not true. and it will affect the children' views and attitude, in some case throughout their life.
the mothers make the children think that the innocent mr.doe is someone, even something to keep away from. he is like a monster, an unknown figure in the dark. it will keep the children from understanding the truth, that someone like mr. do is not to be sacred of, that he is also human being which need respect and attention (despite his situation).
anyway, 
i can bear to laugh reading that children were scared of you hahah....yeah, i think the fact that you hated them was the only reason they were scared of you. because the children aren't usually scared of the beautiful ones 
very happy to see you here, responding this topic, despite the broken grammar and inconsistent tenses LOL. ooops, no, i am not underestimating myself. this discussion is an accident. i posted it in hurry....well, whatever LOL
i totally agree with you. telling the fake story is not the best way to teach the children. in the early years of their life, children mind is like sponge. they absorb anything they receive; especially the imposed 'facts' which are not true. and it will affect the children' views and attitude, in some case throughout their life.
the mothers make the children think that the innocent mr.doe is someone, even something to keep away from. he is like a monster, an unknown figure in the dark. it will keep the children from understanding the truth, that someone like mr. do is not to be sacred of, that he is also human being which need respect and attention (despite his situation).
anyway, i can bear to laugh reading that children were scared of you hahah....yeah, i think the fact that you hated them was the only reason they were scared of you. because the children aren't usually scared of the beautiful ones 1 person likes this
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 08
Thank you LOL...
Sorry for the long responding, your discussions drowned so fast since you are likely to make a new discussions every day LOL. You know what? If you are familiar with the disney animation movie based on a classical novel "The Hunchback of NotreDame"? I think mr.Doe here just experienced the same thing with Quasimodo. Being judged of something that he didn't do, and judged by the way he looked. That's bad. LOL.
Yeah, this is funny to remember it now that the children were scared of me. I am not considering myself beautiful, because I don't think beautiful is seen only by the appearance of someone (oops now the OOT time!) but the way they attitude and behavior (and brain too of course)
1 person likes this
@patzel88 (3310)
• Philippines
15 Sep 08
i am not like mr doe. i am friendly to all people if they dont give me problem. In the case of mr. doe it is not right to the children being scared to him, in fact he needs some extra attention because of his situation. what if they have a son or daughter like mr. doe, do they allow to happen?
@sutanhartanto (4122)
• Indonesia
15 Sep 08
that's good for you.
yeah, that's not right. people were wrong in leading the children to feel afraid to mr. do, especially they do it just to stop them crying. they make the children think as if mr. doe is a monster, an unknown creature in the mist. thanks for responding
1 person likes this
@sutanhartanto (4122)
• Indonesia
15 Sep 08
that's great of you. habitually awarding gift and chocolates, not only your own children will love you 
thanks for responding.1 person likes this
@nlcapricorn (1114)
• Philippines
15 Sep 08
It depends upon the attitude of the chid. There are some that will afraid of me and some do not. Those will afraid of you if you will say just sit down they wil follow you. But those do not? They will look at you and then start to do things that can annoy you..haha.. Its fun sometimes to see those kind of children. But that is kids. They love to move and run here and there. We are like that too when we are young.
@sutanhartanto (4122)
• Indonesia
15 Sep 08
yes you right. we can hardly ask or order kids to just sit down. that's against their nature. children, with their extra energy and less activities will always move and move to spend their energy. yeah, children are not to sit down. they are to jump, roll, run, walk, etc. and most possibly they will abide you if instead of asking them to sit down, you order them run, jump, play hide and seek, etc
1 person likes this
