Being Bipolar
By Dday50627
@Dday50627 (359)
United States
September 15, 2008 10:34am CST
Being bipolar, I hear many people talking about what "I" should do to make it "go away" or for me to "get over it." Well those are nice thoughts and a little cruel also. I have been there and done that. The meds? Oh yes, sometimes they work wonders in some. And sometimes they have a very ummm nasty effect on the person. I say,do what works for you. But, I wonder how many really understand a day in the life of someone with this disorder.
There are days that the Euphoric highs are so unbelievable that your inner self shakes and you believe you can tackle the world. They are always followed by a Terrible Low that can send you right off the face of this earth. The need and desire to be alone so that you don't hurt someones heart. The fear of going into a store and freezing in some produce aisle because you simply can not make yourself move. The anxieties that feel like a heart attack and twist you inside and out. The fear that someone will cause you to be in a confrontation and you will simply freak. Crying and the 2 hours of sleep you get becoming alright with your body, so you feel totally ready for the day after 1 or 2 hours of sleep. Confusion sometimes that leaves your head going 1000 miles an hour and takes away your bility to decide anything.The guilt from things you truly might not have even caused... blaming yourself for every wrong that happened to anyone that loved you enough to be near you. The constant need to be near enough to reach someones soul. The embarrasment that comes from your twitches and speaking out suddenly. And the fact that since you nor the medical field truly has a real understanding of what you do not even understand yourself, how then can you explain it all to another.
Do you know these feelings? Tell me about them. I am listening.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@pheonixstar1982 (2307)
• United States
15 Sep 08
What i personally can not stand is when i am depressed and someone tells me to get over it already. What people don't understand is that being Bipolar is a disease and you just cant get over it. Its like telling someone with cancer to get over it. Just because one effects your moods does not make it any less of a disease. Yes meds help, but there isn't a cure for being bipolar.
1 person likes this
@Dday50627 (359)
• United States
15 Sep 08
you are so very right. Your words ring true and only those with loved ones or that love someone that has this can understand a little. Thank you for your writing and reading. Always, Darrel
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
20 Sep 08
the euphoric high is so awesome its not even funny and i went 3 months only sleeping 2 hours a night which was insane and i also wrote a 320 page novel in one month on a manic frenzy.. my shrinks are trying to take the "highs" away to keep me more balanced but the weird thing with me is that i have a pain condition and when i have the highs i literally feel less pain.. sometimes NONE.. and ive been on everything there is pain pill wise and nothing works so i really dont want that taken away lol..
yeah i had my bro say to me once that i loved to milk the depression thing when i was a teenager.. i was like WHAT?!?! i also have that blame myself for everything.. which of course my mom told me that if i felt guilty of something then i must have DONE something to have earned it.. the stupid crap people say to bipolar people i swear..
my shrink is dealing with each problem separately as far as anxiety and depression that are exactly how you mentioned.. which means more meds but they have been ok.. sometimes.. but i have ADD and he wont give me anything for it because im bipolar.. when i am on it i wont sleep.. but if i am not on it i cant concentrate to save my life.. im always making mistakes on here and every where because i cant comprehend reading.. but my dads shrink said that bipolar people automatically have ADD which i have never heard before but i need something for it DANG IT!! have you heard that??
the thing that really really freakin bugs me is that people assume that because im bipolar i am unstable and i will like shoot up the workplace or hurt every one im around or be a liar etc.. i have lost friends that have told me i was crazy and the funny thing was she was crazier than i was.. well even worse since she doesnt realize she is.. but since i have the label people feel that they can call you whatever they want and do whatever they wont since we are damaged and apparently we have no feelings since we are crazy.. when i have too many feelings.. i would like to know where the switch is to turn off the ability to care about things.. some times i dont think its worth it since every thing is amplified for us
