Two Years On.........
By gemini_rose
@gemini_rose (16264)
September 16, 2008 6:30am CST
We all have anniversaries for things, first meetings, first date, first kiss, wedding anniversary etc, first affair. Yes, I did say first affair. Two years ago this week was the day that I discovered my husbands affair, yes, it was a shock. Made worse by the fact that I discovered it the day after I had come out of hospital ill after being sterilised and made worse by the fact that she announced that she was also pregnant. Yes, it was definately a bad time and I will not go into too many details because to do so would be around about an hours reading!.
But, you know I made my decisions, good or bad I chose to stay. I had my reasons as to why I was staying and I made my choice, and two years on we are still together. Granted it is not the same, never will be, but in some ways it is better. So that is my anniversary that I have this week, not a celebratory one mind, just one that is important in my calender.
So what anniversaries do you have coming up this week? Are they celebrations or just anniversaries that you remember for yourself?
4 people like this
16 responses
@rogue13xmen13 (14402)
• United States
16 Sep 08
I do not have any anniversaries this week, but on August 17th, that I was day that I lost my brother, and that was two years ago. On October 8th is the day that my boyfriend and I became a couple.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
16 Sep 08
Well I am sorry to hear about your brother, but at least you have a nice anniversary to follow.
1 person likes this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Sorry for your anniversary, gemini_rose. You've had to be strong and I admire you for that.
This week is full of sentimental anniversaries for me. It is the week I brought my son home from the hospital changing my life forever. I still remember all the days of firsts. The first smile was a special one for me.... only five days old!
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@gemini_rose (16264)
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16 Sep 08
The first smile is so special, and people always say its wind when they are that little. Why do they always say that? I know with all my four they all smiled a lot at just a few days old and there was no way it was wind.
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@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
16 Sep 08
It not something to cheer about but yes certain dates are hard to remove from your mind. Being cheated on leaves an irremovable mark and I don't blame you if you feel hurt. I do admire you for being courageous and sticking to you husband and tried to save your marriage. It's just more too easy to go for divorce or separation. to break things that are already broken than to try and fix them. You are a courageous person and despite that you were hurt you went on choosing the best option for your family. I hope that your tough decision has been rewarded.
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@gemini_rose (16264)
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16 Sep 08
No, it is certainly not cheered, thank you for your kind words too. I do not think that divorce is more easy, not for me anyway, not with four children to consider too, they were terribly hurt by everything. I really am not courageous but yes I did choose the best option for my family.
1 person likes this
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
16 Sep 08
My husband has one and it is to celebrate quitting smoking, it was nine years ago this month.. I think that we all have the momories and remember them by putting a name on them, some are good and some are bad but we remember them just the same.. Good luck to you and yours, we all have reasons for the things that we do and as long as we think they are the right reasons then they are right..
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@gemini_rose (16264)
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16 Sep 08
That is great and one that is well worth celebrating. Yes I think that my reasons were right, they were the right choices at that time anyway.
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@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Did she end up having his baby? I could imagine that would make life absolutely horrible.
No major anniversaries for us this time of year, although my hubby's birthday is coming up in a week or so. I find it funny because the guy I dated just before him had the same birthday. That will be it so far as major celebrations go around here until Halloween and then my twins birthday in November.
@gemini_rose (16264)
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16 Sep 08
No, thank goodness. There was actually a lot of question marks over that particular thing, see she announced she was pregnant,which was true. I wanted to know how far she was, so she told hubby, I worked it out and the time she would have gotten pregnant we were away on holiday, work that out!! I made a big thing out of it, funny thing next minute she wanted an abortion. Oh it was all such a mess, I really do not know how I got through it all.
@gemini_rose (16264)
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17 Sep 08
She had an abortion, as soon as she had the abortion she immediately told him she had made the biggest mistake of her life and wanted another baby and she tried to get pregnant again. I knew about it all, its such a long and complicated story its a bit like something you would see happen in a soap to be honest, but long and short is I eventually managed to get her out of my life thank goodness.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
17 Sep 08
So what happened? Did she get the abortion? Did she ever admit it wasn't his?
I sure hope she's long gone out of your lives now.
Why do men always choose such awful people to have affairs with? I know a girl who's long time boyfriend cheated on her and the girl is pregnant, although no one is sure if it's his or not, they'll find out when the baby is born. Well the girlfriend says the "other woman" has so many issues, and is constantly trying to get the guy back, and get in the good graces of his family "for the baby's sake". The guy and his family want nothing more to do with this girl, and she won't take the hint. She's using the baby as an excuse to keep going after him.
@RAGHUBIR (65)
• India
16 Sep 08
affairs are normal now a day every third person want to have a affair. but if you want to have good husband talk to him and try to know that why he looking for the affair from some one else what exactly he wanted. and also try to know what is his expectation and how you can full fill them
1 person likes this
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
19 Sep 08
I'm not big on anniversaires. I don't remember dates very well either so maybe that is why I am not good at remembering them. I do remember the real important ones, like my birthday and my kids birthdays but when it comes to anniversaries I'm not so good at it. I was just trying to remember, the other day, when my first wedding anniversary was, but I don't remember the date, just the month of June. My memory isn't very good these days or just because we are not together anymore so it isn't something important to remember. I do remember when my second marriage anniversery is, was, we are no longer together either. It was May 15th 1989. I guess I remember that one because we were together a lot longer than my first marriage.
@gemini_rose (16264)
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19 Sep 08
I remember most anniversaries, usually the bad ones for some reason. I always remember my wedding anniversary I just do not like to celebrate it as much as I used too!
@ellie333 (21016)
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16 Sep 08
Hi Gemini_rose, Oh wow what an ordeal to have to go through and come back out the other side of stronger in so many ways. I am pleased to hear that your relationship did remain after the affair and like you say no longer the same but I am glad to hear that in some ways it is better for you. There is only one celebration this month and that is my friends sons 21st and it only seems like yesterday that he was born bless they time flies by so quickly, earlier in the month I had my daughters birthday she was 22 but September a quiet month really and I have no quiet ones that only I remember myself. Well done to you for riding the storm may it now be calmer waters for you. Huggles. Ellie :D
@gemini_rose (16264)
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16 Sep 08
It was an ordeal, it was a flippin nightmare in fact! In a lot of ways I am stronger, but in some ways it ruined the way I see things if you know what I mean. My son will be 17 next month, I cannot believe that sometimes either!
@sophialin (2677)
• China
16 Sep 08
this time last year,i decided to quit from my first job which i even havn't been for three months but finally i quit it.
that's a wise decision otherwise i won't find my current job which is more suitable for me.
i'm sorry to hear that thing happened on you last year.such anniversary is quite unusual but since you have chosen to stay together with hin after that.i think it's a better choice for you.
anyway,things will neither return to be before nor pretend not been happen,but we 'll still go down along the life. love between couples is not the only thing.
have a nice day every day,my friend
@gemini_rose (16264)
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16 Sep 08
Thats a nice anniversary, and even better if you are in a job that you like. Yes it is an unusual anniversary, one I would rather not have but a wee bit hard to forget!
1 person likes this
@tessah (6617)
• United States
16 Sep 08
september 21st.. 9 years ago on the autumnal equinox.. i heard the sprites heartbeat for the very first time. obviously a celebratory event.. but along with it came the disintigration of my relationship with his parents, events that forced us to be living with 100 miles between us that caused him to miss 5 months of my pregnancy of our first child. so one of the best days of my life.. became the beginning of one of the worse periods of my existance. bittersweet to say the very least.
@gemini_rose (16264)
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16 Sep 08
I think thats a lovely anniversary, I love hearing the heartbeat of a child for the first time, shame that it went bad after but you came through it.
@cinderella2007 (2662)
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16 Sep 08
Wow...what a bad anniversary!! Im glad you chose to stay for your own reasons and have come out stronger than ever!! It definitely was a bad time for all, I can imagine!! Im glad you are both better of now even though it will not be the same.
I, myself dont have any anniversaries or celebrations. I will be celebrating on friday though when my boyf comes back from his holiday. He has gone to Prague with his dad, brother and 2 friends.
All the best and stay strong x
@gemini_rose (16264)
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16 Sep 08
It was a bad time but these things are sent to try us, or so I am told! Wish they would stop trying me all the time though!
@gemini_rose (16264)
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16 Sep 08
Do you know we hardly ever argue and I have never thrown it at him. I could have done many times but I have not!
@cinderella2007 (2662)
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16 Sep 08
The thing is, it will never be forgotten and must have been bought up in many arguments!! If you keep on overcoming these bad times then you really are a strong person and you both are meant to be together!!
Maybe your good times are just around the corner!
@cbreeze (1205)
• United States
16 Sep 08
I actually do a great job of burying details of bad memories. I do not totally forget them and occassionally soemthing will ignite a memory that I have purposely supressed. But I choose to remember the dates of more joyful moments in my life. Take care.
@gemini_rose (16264)
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16 Sep 08
I have buried a lot of memories over the years, but this one just stayed with me.
@mona269 (133)
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
Whew! And I was beginning to think that I'm probably the only one who puts stuff like these in the calendar. Of course, mine wasn't really as shocking as your story but it runs along the same storyline...and yes, it's also been two years since. BTW, I celebrated mine last sept 11.
I guess we all have our reasons. I chose to stay too.
@gemini_rose (16264)
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16 Sep 08
No, you are not the only one. It is hard sometimes isn't it? I have often wondered if I should have done things different, but at the time I did not feel that I had a lot of choices open to me.
@Lee_Rites (845)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Wow, what a story. After somethings, a relationship can never be the same. But I am glad that you guys worked it out. Most people think you should leave when something like that happens. I think it is better for the kids, and even maybe for you, to try to work it out. I think pride too often affects the decisions we make much to our detriment.
@littleone3 (2063)
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16 Sep 08
What a terrible thing to have to go through you must be very strong. Good luck to you i hope it all works out for you.
This week on Thursday i turn 36. It was on my birthday three years ago that i done a pregnancy test and found out i was pregnant with my fifth child. Mine and my partners first child together. Now i have a lovely two year son old every time my birthday comes round i always remember that day.
I am not too bothered about celebrating my birhtday as i have my sons in just over two weeks on 5th October he will be 17. So will save the celebrations for then.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Sep 08
hi gemini rose.wow you came back and made things better and different so guess you have a lot of guts girl. hope everything stays great now for you.I cannot think of any anniversaries coming up this week for me. March will be my memory of our wedding anniversary as I am a widow since 1991.nov 15 is my birthday so will celebrate that. good luck and god bless.
