Have children held you back in life?

I do think that my kids have held me back in doing some things that I've wanted to do, but I wouldn't change it for anything. It was my idea to have a baby. My husband wasn't opposed to it (obviously), but he said he would've wanted to wait at least another year or so. I wanted one now, because he's in the military & we're moving away next year, and I wanted family to be able to spend time with the baby before we moved away for who knows how long. I also wanted to be a mom very badly. Looking back now, the only reasons I can think of for wanting to wait to have kids is so that I could've gone back to college & so that my husband & I could've enjoyed more time together with just us. We got married in March & I got pregnant that July.

I am just a father of little (6months) and as such i want to lead a peaceful and stable life. And my concentration and thinking is to bring up my child on her own way just to back her in life. But i am held back in taking fast growing decision.

Sometimes I did. It wouldn't last long, just looking at their precious little faces and enjoying their hugs. I missed out on a lot career-wise but wouldn't trade it for the world. I know how you feel, and it's normal, but you're doing the most important job in the world--raising a happy, well-adjusted child to be a productive adult in this crazy, sick society. I truly believe that God will compensate you for that time, so please just enjoy your child while you can. I know you love him and it's normal to panic a bit. I had my first when I was 33 so boy, it does get stressful!

Hm, interesting question. I am 50 and I have an 11 year old girl and two eight year olds, boy and girl. No, I don't feel held back. I made the choice to have children and I have responsibilities because of them, and there are things that I can't do because of that, but it was my choice. Now the husband, that's another story....

No, I have 2 children. When they were little I went back in the evenings to take a few college classes to finish my associates degree. It was only two nights a week and my husband was home with them. When they went to school full time, so did I. I went on to get a master's degree ( an almost a doctorate, but that is a long story) My husband worked the night shift, slept durng the day when they (we) were in school and was awake when they came home from school. I went to work after that and feel that in no way was I held back. My husband and I think of ourselves as equals and our children were well cared for and now are well adjusted and successful in life with families of their own. Where there is a will there is a way, of course it helps to be married to a reasonable, caring man who knows that he has just as much responsiblity in raising the children. Both of my sons are also wonderful fathers and share with their children. But I also taught my sons how to cook and take care of themselves, they are not spoiled.

I never feel held back by my children. I have three children in elementary school. If anything, I see my children as an opportunity to better myself. Children are always asking questions, which gives me the opportunity to seek more answers and learn with them. I have learned so much watching them grow. Their outlook on life and the way they interpret the world is very eye opening and humbling. So, no, I don't feel held back by my kids. I do sometimes feel that some things in life hold me back from my kids though.

My daughter is 10 years old and some times I think about where I would be if I did not have her but I have no regrets. Having her in my life has caused me to work twice as hard to show her that life is hard but if you apply yourself you can do it.

I have 6 children. I think I've been too busy to feel like that. I can tell you this. One day he will be older and more self sufficient. When that day comes, you will be amazed at how much you still can do. And you will realize that he didn't hold you back at all.

Though I am man but I want share with in this. If with the children women feel held back from doing some thing achieving some thing. I think to be a mother the woman accomplish some thing also. If all the women start feeling that having children they are held back, how the system will run. I have been in association with so many personalities from the the woman folk who have reached the highest place in the society and they head the corporations and even leading the countries and they have children. I think there should be some adjustment. I mean early marriage and early children in the beginning of life gives more opportunities to the mothers to achieve accomplish. They are respected at work and home and society and where they go. How you take it please comment and have nice mothering.

I dont feel i have been held back. yes there are many things in life I would like to do, but nothing that i feel deprived about or anything like that. My son is also 5 yrs old and im 35. Before i had him, i managed to get in a few vacations taht i always wanted to do, i had a great job (yes i gave it up to raise him but i chose to do that, i had other options) Now had i had him back at 18 when i wanted to have a baby, then i would prob be saying yes because i never would have done and seen some of the things i have. I am still young and i may have to wait til hes in college or married to do more things but that is ok, because i can honestly say at this point in my life, if i never took another trip, or bought myself something extra..i would be ok with that. I do realize that many women regardless of their age do feel this way, but if we all count our blessings, maybe it will soften the feeling a little.

My niece was so happy when she found out that she was pregnant she couldn't wait to tell her husband first so she told me. My response was, "Life as you know it has just ended!" We laughed and talked but she really didn't feel the impact of what I was saying. She now has two children and often times tells me how right I was when I told her this LOL The statement is true if you are planning to be a loving, supportive, and dedicated parent. Children alter your life no matter what. Feeling like you're being held back is common, I felt like that many times. I don't think age has any bearing on this. Have a great day and keep on lovin' that baby cause in a flash he will be grown!

This is a great discussion, I have already learned so much from reading the replies of other mothers. I have two kids and I just recently gave birth to my daughter. And in between those years, I've always planned on going back to school but I would find myself pregnant each time. It is depressing when I think about it, but I am not unhappy or regretful. I have made my choices in life. As I watch them grow I feel content and hopeful. I would like to think that there is still time for me to pick up where I left off. The opportunity is always there.

Sometimes I feel that too, I have now 3 boys and yes I do feel that I am very binded to them and sometimes there are things that I want to do by myself but I can't because I have to consider the kids, sometimes I want to rebel with my situation but of course I know it will do no good, after al I chose to be like this.

Not at all. Everything I do is for my son. He is 15 right now. I chose to have him and with that choice I live my life around him. I figure when he is on his own I will have me time. I would never say my child held me back from anything. Did I miss out on things? YES. Do I regret it? Not for a second.

There are basically two philosophies about raising children. 1. The child is the universe and all activities revolve around the child. 2. The child has to fit into the life style and activities of the family and adapt to those. I can see that moms who believe in the first statement feel held back and sometimes feel resentful and that they are missing out on things and are held back. If you subscribe to the second statement you can accomplish anything you want and not feel as if you are held back. However, this involves certain financial sacrifices. You need to spend money on good day care, after school care, qualified sitters and nannies who help you out. If you are working outside the home a good portion of your income will have to go for payment of those services. Go with what makes you happy and then your child will also be happy.

I think almost every mom has felt that at one time or another. After you have children you can't just go and do as you once did. You have other responsibilities now that out-weigh some of your own goals and things you would like to accomplish. However, the time passes more quickly than you think, they get older and then you can pick up that 'list' of things you wanted to accomplish and start working on them again. I got my Assoc Degree when my oldest daughter was 6, it wasn't easy. And then I had my second daughter and being a mom was even more of a full time job. I went back to working on my bachelor's degree when my youngest turned 15. I got hired for my 'dream' job a year and half ago. So enjoy the time with your son, he'll be grown before you know it, and then you'll have time for what you want to do.

bamakelly I think that all of us may have had those feelings, specially if you have two in less than a year, and your husband' is having trouble supporting the fa mily and you had always worked before. I think its best for a woman to have a c areer of some sort when she gets out of school, and keep her hand in working so when and if married life has financial difficulties she can also help by working parttime while her kids are in school. the house can wait if big money problems loom, but the bills cannot, and kids must be fed, clothed and cared for which all takes money.working moms are still moms and love their kids just as much as stay at homs, they just arent as lucky to have suffiecent funds to enable them to stay at home

Unfortunatly I have no children but they are a bleesing. I know sometimes it may get a little rough but you have to press forward. I wouldn't reccomend waiting to accomplish your gols because tommorrow is not promised but look at it as a challenge and go for it you can do it you just need a solid system and it done. Goodluck