Funny how friends drift apart
By MissGia
@MissGia (955)
United States
September 16, 2008 8:02pm CST
I have been friends with a girl for 11 years. I met her when i moved to Ohio for the first time, She was my dads best friends daughter. For most of our friendship it has been tight and we've always been there for each other.
Our relationship started to drift apart when she started dating who is now her baby's daddy. She started hanging out more with his friends and family, also becoming really tight with another friend of mine..who was dating and is now married to my friends baby daddy.
Now a days we rarely talk and even when we see each other it's a really awkward moment.. as if we barely know each other. I can understand as you grow older you meet new people, get into relationships and have kids, but why push away friends you've had for 10+years.
She still hangs out with some of our old mutual friends, people shes known just as long as shes known me, some even longer. This makes me feel like it's me, not that she's busy. I feel outcasted almost.
Reason I bring this up is that i saw her when i went to the grocery store today and she barely said anything to me, i even tried conversating but she made it look like she was in some kind of hurry....so i went on my merry way.
I'm not asking for advice, I've already made my mind up on the matter. But has this ever happend to any of you..where your long term friendships all of sudden end up broken? That horrible feeling of being outcasted.
2 people like this
9 responses
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
Yeah, this has been a typical scenario in my life. People, who call themselves friends were all over me whenever they wanted something from me and especially during the moments of my glory wherein they can share the limelight with me.
I've never offended nor abandoned a friend before, especially someone who's in dire need. But well, sad to say, the scale isn't balanced.
I have had so-called friends, who I even treated as my bestfriends who just left me and forgotten about me just like that. It seems they deem me undeserving of an explanation, so i didn't bother pestering them for it.
I just accepted the fact that "nothing gold can stay". Yeah, what we had maybe golden, our friendship may be that shining treasure which seem to bring light and sparkle to my life. But well, I've came to terms with the truth that everything changes and ends.
I'm moving on, though I'm never closing my doors coz' I've always been a forgiving person. But I prefer not to bother myself with it anymore nor make myself feel betrayed and hurt over and over everytime the inevitable happens...
1 person likes this
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
Storing up positive energy helps a lot.. Remember, if it's meant to be, no matter what happens, it is meant to be. Happy mylotting!
@chubbycheeks (135)
•
17 Sep 08
It often happens especially as we get older,we tend to drift from our friends,we are busy bring up our familes and working ,and we cant manage to fit it all in,so therefore the friends get put on the back boiler.But a lot of times it isnt intentional its just a matter of time.I have recently been looking on Friends reunited and have managed to catch up with a few people who were old school friends,so much has happened in the years since we have left school that it would take forever to fill each other in with all of the gossip,but we are going to give it a try .We we a group of prefects in a seconady modern school.we had good times together,some of them have families,some have had one family then remarried and married again only to have a second family.There are a cuple of old friends that have passed away which was sad to hear.We all were in the school choir together and we used to play in the netball team together too,we were close and we used to take turns to sleep over at each others houses,and then on sunday morning we would all go to church together,we went to the local chapel.Most of us have grandchildren nowwhich will be fun to catch up on.So the social networking sites have certainly done me a good turn,im glad that I joined Friends reunited.
@divinegwapa (914)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
I found myself in the same situation a few years back. I was still in college then and I have this friend who was really really close to me. I tell her almost everything. She was like a sister to me. We see each other almost everyday and when we were together we always have so much fun. She's older than I am and when she graduated and got a job that was when little by little our communication was cut.
I was heart broken then. We haven't talked for a long time. I guess that's just how life is. People come and go. And when they go, we just to gather ourselves together and move. ;D
1 person likes this
@callcenterchick (94)
•
17 Sep 08
well it did happened to me right now... actually I'm the one who forgot that it is my best friends birthday and that we haven't talked for a quite sometime because of my husband... well you just have to understand her situation. well if you were on her part what will you do?
1 person likes this
@MissGia (955)
• United States
17 Sep 08
I feel like i've been dropped like a bad habit because i don't have a child. I think thats F'ed up. Is it because i can't give her motherly advice or because i don't have a child for hers to play with??
If i was in her shoes i wouldn't be so distant from friend who have been there for me since way back when.
Like i said before she still hangs out and socializes with some of her old friends..what do all of her old friends (these are my friends as well) have in common. They all have children. I swear to god it's like a high school clique. I'm the outcast because i've chosen not to get knocked up yet.
@LadyWinter (195)
• United States
17 Sep 08
I have been in this situation before myself. If the friendship really truly mattered to me I have swallowed my pride, made the phone call, and asked what was going on...laying bare all my emotions. If after that nothing changed I have moved on.
Friendship, real true friendship, is very rare in this world. If you actually come upon it, you should never take it for granted. Friendship is hard work and takes time.
I have two best friends. One I have been friends with for 26 years, since first grade. The other friend I have only had for a few years....we had a falling out and she quit talking to me for a few years *YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE SLACKER* and then last year we reconnected. It took both of us, coming down to the issue of what the falling out was about, which was VERY personal and very touchy to both of us, and going over it over and over again to make sure it will never happen again. It all boiled down to a misunderstanding on both of our parts. I love this chica and wouldnt trade our friendship for a mountain of diamonds, so it was worth it to me to go through the emotional work to have a friend who always has my back.
Good luck with your situation whatever the outcome.
@babymandy668 (66)
• Canada
17 Sep 08
I have a friend like that right now. I haven't known her nearly as long as you've known your friend. However, It seems like she doesn't want to talk to me or even see me anymore. It really hurts my feelings. I've also tried telling her how I feel but it seems like it doesn't even matter anymore. But I know how you're feeling, and it SUCKS! I try talking to her on MSN when I see her but she pretty much only says like two things to me and then the conversation's over. Even when she does come over it feels awkward, like I don't know what to say. It's almost like meeting a new person for the first time. It's like "uhhhh so how are you?" Kind of thing. Strained, tense, and awkward. Sometimes makes me feel like leaving my own house. It's almost like she's not the same person. I just kind of deal with it, my thought is that she made her choice. Let her live her life. Who are we to stop them? I just wish my friend all the happiness in the world when I talk to her and let bygones be bygones. :)
1 person likes this
@MissGia (955)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Yes it is a horrible feeling. i know she is a mother and is busy with work and her child, but i live 5 min down the road. Hanging out with me once in a while wouldn't be that difficult..but she seems to always find better people to spend her time with.
I've always heard that when people have children and or get married their social life completely changes..they hang out with new people, but i never thought this included diminishing an 11 year friendship. Makes me wonder if i had a baby if she would start talking to me again.
It feels very cliquish, sort of like high school.
@stella1989 (2274)
• India
17 Sep 08
Things like this just happen.
Well usually it happens but in some cases people just intentionally move on.
In this case I some how find myself on the other side of the fence, means the side in which your 11year old friends is in.
I don't know why, if people don't keep in touch with me I just move on.
I do try to make some efforts from myself to keep the friendship going but sometimes I feel why am I making so much of efforts to keep the friendship going?
And some how we get apart, I mover on and suddenly our life becomes busier.
When I meet some one back from my school days I kind of feel little guilty as I never made any attempt to keep in touch (well neither did they) So I prefer to say hi, how are your and then bye.. that's it. Trying to skirt the situation.
It does feel kind of awkward as the person with whom you once shared your lunch and bench with is standing in front of you after so long time (mostly when they live just couple of kilometers away).
Well I behave like this with those "kind-of-friends" with whom I just don't want to be friends anymore.
else I feel very nostalgic(happy feeling) when I meet some one from my past life.
@jzjqdkd (273)
• China
17 Sep 08
It really sounds sad for a once friend acting just like a stranger.Maybe this will happen to me some day .Now the friendship between my girlfriend and me is worsing,though I don't want to lose her ,nothing I can do.But if we really part with each other maybe I will miss the good old days with her , and maybe we will never see each other any more ,whenever i think of this ,my heart breaks.I don't want this to come true,I still love her so much.How can i do ?can you help me ?
@michael1606 (48)
• United States
17 Sep 08
it happens all the time, my friends are nowhere in site, people move,change, or just flat out don't want to be friends anymore. Well fortunately i,ve been a few places and one thing you can be sure of is there are always new people that are waiting to be your new friend I've made a few So hey mayybe we could be
