My son-is this normal?

First of, the word "antisocial" is not the right word. ASOCIAL is a better description. Taht means he keeps to himself. 14 is a dificult age. Probably that he's "trying to find himself". Are you close to him? Maybe you could try to do some activities with him that you bopth enjoy, so he could open up to you voluntarily. Dont ask him. That'll scare him and he'd clam up instead.

How do you know he plays with himself?

I have been through this with my oldest son, he was really into video games and always kept to himself and stayed in his room wore black the usual stuff a teenager goes through. I was worried about it at first but only because I had never gone through it before but I had a talk with my mom and she told me it's normal and to just keep an extra eye out for him, encourage him to do other things other than video games and stay in his room. Give him a few extra bucks to go to the mall with some friends to watch a movie or something. Have some of your friends over that have kids his own age and set up some fun stuff for them to do. Or you could just sit down and talk with him he doesn't have to say anything just tell him how you feel and that you have some questions for him. He will listen to you kids listen to their parents more than the parents thing they do. He is growing up and finding out who he is and what he wants to be in life. If you feel uncomfortable talking to him take him out spend some time with him maybe he will open up on his own.

sunshine me and your son have a lot in common, I prefer a lot of the time to be on my computer rather than out socializing with people I do not really know or care to know.but I would seek help for him from his doctor, explain all thats been going on and maybe your doctor can give you some answers. at fourteen hes comin into p;uberty and is curious about his sexuality. see your doctor and if he recommends a child psychologist go see him and set your mind at ease. its been so long since my son was that age.he is now 49 so you can see I am not too much help. I am also a computer addict lol say hi to him for me from a lady old enough to be his grandma. lol I think a lot of his problems will iron out in a few years but play it safe do seek some medical help to keep you from going bananas worrying about him. I am now 81 myself and sort of a loner but I do live with my son. lol.

My guess would be that he has problems, and he has no one to talk to about it. It happened to me when I was a kid, and I can remember pretty clearly how it went. It just happens, that sometimes kids don't trust or feel awkward about talking of certain stuff to their parents. In my case, I let it all out with a friend, a close friend ;), and a cousin of mine. They all gave me advice and I was able to overcome my problem. Now, about he becoming anti-social. That's a problem that is extremely hard to overcome when one reaches the teenage ages (16+ I suppose). I was kind of anti-social back in the day and it was hell for me... Really, it was so difficult to do some stuff that seemed normal for others. I'd recommend you to consult an expert or someone that specializes on treating problems like that because it's better to fix it now that your child is younger. Well... as for me, I got support from a lot of friends and family members. Right now I enjoy what I am doing and I am happy. =) So, good luck and hope everything comes out right!

I guess all teens go through the same awkward phase. I think I did too. I guess, what's hard about kids now are the stuff that really limit social interaction like PSPs, gameboys and the computer. These things are in a way very "addicting" to play with. I guess you just have to expose your son to other activities like sports. I "forced" my kids into taking taekwondo lessons two summers ago for the very same reason that you have. I couldn't pull them away from their "gadgets" to even have a fine day under the sun. They're always cooped up inside their rooms. Now, I'm happy to say that my kids are still very much into their takewondo classes and they're really enjoying it a lot because it helps build their self-confidence and they've got lots of friends to play with now.

I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but when I was an early teen I mostly kept to myself. Heck, I still do. I'm just not much of a people person. I like being by myself to do the things that I enjoy doing without having to answer to other people. If you're really worried about him, I'd limit the time he spends online and playing video games and try to plan activities that you guys can do together to get him out of the house. If you can get him out of the house and to places he enjoys going, you may open him up more and get him used to being away from the computer and video games.

Er...well take my for example, I'm just getting toward getting out of being a teenager now and I've always not been a people person. I'm not much for video games, but I do spend alot of time online and I'm something of an insomniac -- I despise sleep and go from getting not enough to just enough. And while for me, this kinda was rooted in depression, I've kept these traits even as I've gotten out of my psychological problems. This suggests that my behavior wasn't solely because of the depression, it was just my natural inclination and I think all teenagers get like this at some point, and sometimes it's an indication of what sort of people they're growing up to be. It's not necessarily bad, if you're worried it might be depression and he's being stubborn, I'd advise taking a few steps back. If he feels pressured, he'll likely clam up. Finding things to do together, as long as they seem casual and remind him how nice it is to have you as a parent, might get him to open up on his own. Because it's not something you can make him do, and it just takes some patiance (and I know that, that's the hardest thing in the world when you're worried). He needs to know you're there for him without feeling like you're smothering him.

this IS a difficult age - but it sounds like the things he is doing are pretty NORMAL, but he seems to be doing them somewhat OBSESSIVELY... this is where i would be concerned. i would limit the games AND the computer - and also only allow access to his room when it is time to sleep - this may seem extreme - but he seems to be hiding - and i am concerned that he is depressed - which can be a REALLY bad situation at ANY age. you should not hesitate to get him to the doctor - do not let them or him poo-poo the situation - make them find out what is going on - at the very least - the doctor should refer you to a psychologist DO NOT WAIT good luck, and please keep us posted - i will send a friend request - i've been through a lot of this - am still going through some with my 17 year old...

I think you should talk to him about this. Maybe he needs someone to really talk too about this. Give him some time too maybe something has happened to him and he s not yet ready to tell you yet. I think it's also good that you consult a doctor on this. I hope it all turns out well for you and your son.

It is always disturbing to us, as parents, when this happens. I think all teens go through a time of feeling distanced from everything and everybody. However, I have to ask, does depression run in your family? If so, then I would definitely take him to be checked out. Maybe even take him to see a psychologist, if you can. You could also express your concerns to one of his teachers, perhaps. They may have noticed a change in him as well. Maybe one of the school's counselors could take a shot at getting him to open up. Be concerned, and do keep an eye on him, but try not to make yourself insane. If all the above suggestions don't yield results, give it a little more time. Like I said, most teens go through a 2-4 year period like this.

It's normal, maybe something happen in his school. You and your husband should try talking with him, spend time with him. I myself had this experience before, and it was bad, every time hid away from all the people don't wanna see or mixed around. Try take him to see a psychologist to let his heart open up.

Maybe it is this modern world we are living in, school sometimes can be an unhealthy place. It has become a nest for bullies.. My brother used to suffer such fate, being bullied, he fell into a quiet state which worried us. But he later found courage and confronted the matter himself, he's back alright.. I wont speculate too much, but bullies could be the answer.

Dear mrs. sunshine there's nothing to worry about your son. In my opinion he;s normal comaparing to my little brother he's such a good boy :) My younger brother "live" on pc, playing video games wathcing movies and so... He even skip classes sometimes so it's normal in 2008 it's 21 st century kids are geeks. P.S. Do not take your kid to doctor just talk with him that's the only soultuion

A lot of people, not just teens, are becoming addicted to video games and internet. And some people are naturally loners, they are happiest in their own company and don't need others to entertain them. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but at his age he needs to find some other activities that will help him develop skills that will give him a sense of accomplishment. Encourage him to find a hobby like painting, building models, drawing, writing, or to take up a sport. It doesn't have to be the school team, but maybe he'd like bicycling or swimming which can be done on his own without peer pressure. It is possible that he is depressed and a visit to the doctor might be in order. You don't have to tell him it's for depression, just tell him you think he could use a checkup to make sure his physical health is good. Tell the doctor beforehand what you suspect and maybe the doctor can spend a few minutes talking to him about what's going on in his life. If he won't talk to you or the doctor(not unusual for a teen), maybe there is another family member he might feel more comfortable talking with.

Unless there are other things happening that concern you, this sounds pretty normal for a 14 year old. Does he eat well? Are his grades at school suddenly slipping? Did he use to have a bunch of friends & now doesn't have any? If those things were also happening, then maybe I would be worried but sleeping a lot & playing video games for hours on end is pretty normal.

Hey you do not have to be afraid...It's just a stage he is passing through, the difference is how you deal with it, that is what makes all the difference. You have to knnow what you need for your kid and how to achieve it for him, one mistake now, could lead to a life time of regret. But the right move will earn you a life time of praise and respect from your kid. You have to know how to use the power of faith and focus. i found this site it is very helpful. www.keeping-family.blogspot.com.

Lol now a days its considered NORMAL in the age of technology!

maybe it's because you son is always palying the video games. He is not invloved in the social interaction. You need to encourage him to go out with friends and limit his gaming habit. If you really wanted to make sure that he is fine, just go to the psychologist it helps me to assess his behavior while it's early.