Do you find it easier to forgive other people than your own family member?

When I was younger, my mom and I had a very volatile relationship. Growing up, I blamed her for my parents' separation, I always felt she abandoned us and every time she came home to visit, I couldn't wait for her to leave again. And I didn't hide those emotions from her, I've yelled at her and I've slammed doors at her face. I could only imagine how much I've hurt her then. Now that I've finally seen her world and understood her side, I feel really bad because she didn't deserve all that when all she did was sacrifice being with her kids all the time in order to give us a better future. All these time, my mother never once failed to bail me out when I make a mess of things and never brought those hurtful incidents up. Sometimes, I feel I do not deserve such love, patience and generosity. I do not really know why it is difficult to forgive one's own family member. Maybe it's because we put too much of our trust in them and we get much more disappointed when we think they did something that hurts us. I don't really know. Every family is unique so I don't know why your parents can't seem to forgive you and see that you still need them. I hope one of these days before you give birth to your baby, you guys have taken a step towards reuniting. But who am I to say? I haven't seen or talked to my sister for two weeks now even though we live in the same house. We got into an argument and I guess pride and hurt still reign supreme in our hearts and minds. It is more painful and harder to accept when family members hurt you because we tend to love and value them more than other people.

i know how u exactly feel my parents are the same , i am the only child in the family and my dad adopted my half sister it was hard 22 years of life , my sis was the prodigal kid, and on me i make lil mistakes that are hard to forgive i didnt understand that since last month why do they tend to fogive other people first because they dont have much expectation from other than their kids and that what i know is that even if they feel like they have not forgiven you they did already forgive you because theu love u so much they sometimes just dont say it..

Sometimes it's harder to forgive our own relatives, because we expect so much more of them. Other times, we figure that if we are related to people, an entire family must have certain standards, and how can we be related to someone who would do such a thing? The best thing to do is to remember that related or not, everyone's human.

I think this is not the reason of your parents in not forgiving whatever shortcomings you've had. You are their child, and whatever wrong you have done will never diminish the love they have for you. They might just want to teach you a lesson so as not to do it again. Believe me, even before you have done anything wrong, they have already forgiven you. I, as a mother, do. As to seeing them forgive other people... don't mind that... they are just being civil, because we all know how cruel the outside world is. And forgiving others does not necessarily mean they love these "other people" than their own children. Even if they say they are upset... no parent would say they hate their children. You upset them, they get mad, but they love you and nothing can change that.

Hey i think we are in the same boat. My mom and I are not on good terms for about a year now. She's the type who can actually not to you for years. She once got mad at my sister and not talk to her for 8 years. Then she and my dad fought and they didn't talk for 5 years. I have always been the one who stands up to her because most of the time she is really not in the right reasoning. The hard thing is, my daughter and I live with her 9and my dad) because my husband is based in the province and comes home once a month. I am at the point where I have given up. I have tried to make ammends even if I know that i was really right. She ignores me and walks away. It hurts. When people pester me to make up with her, I tell them bluntly that it is not as if I never tried. I don't think all parents are like this. My mom has always been the "difficult" one in the family and even her mom and sisters (and brothers) do not understand her at time. She's very strong and bullheaded. It's just so sad that she's like that despite her age (she's 64).