I am against adoptions

I think this is more of a negative reflection of this woman rather than adoptions in general! I hope that for this child's sake this woman wakes up to herself because this child has probably been through enough hardship already and has a bleak future ahead of her if this attitude towards her doesn't change. Adoption is a second chance at life for many children so I am definitely for it. Every child deserves love and not all people are able to have children as you have rightfully said already; so it is a win-win for many. It makes me sad though to read about this woman's attitude towards this little girl.

It looks like everyone has already said what I think, and said it well too. Children are just that, children, no matter whether they are adopted or blood, no matter if they are from your own country or a foreign country, they are still just children who need loving and supportive parents, parents to teach them, love them and help them grow. No child is perfect and some have more problems than others, but they need love and attention none the less.

I think your colleague bit off more than she could chew. Children are nor perfect. This could have happened with a natural child. I am not against adoption because there really are so many positive cases and think what would happen to the children if they weren't adopted.

I think that there are some people who assume that all children should be the same. There are no two children who learn at the same rate of spped. There are some things that are easier for some children to learn but harder for others. Your friend should take the little girl to the doctor to have her tested to see if there is something prventing her from speaking. If there isn't then your friend might need to take time to work with her daughter. In my eyes all children are very smart. Its the job of the parents and teachers to figure out how to tap into the childs learning abilities to teach the child. Parenting isn't easy but it is a rewarding experience. I am the adoptive mother of two boys. I love both boys as if I had carried them myself. Both boys have been a totally different experience to raise then my own birth daughter but that doesn't mean I love them any less. I am for adopting children but I think that people should think before they adopt a child. All children can come with issues or problems. Doesn't matter if the child is adopted or not. Some of my friends have more trouble out of their birth children then I do my boys. Its all in the parenting skills and how much a parent is willing to work with the child.

Hi ronaldinu, I am not against adoptions but I think it depends on those who adopt. I don't think that everyone is like your colleague and I don't think that such people should adopt. Everyone who wants to to adopt a child should be carefully investigated and follow ups should be done. I think it is terrible that this woman belittles her child. Blessings.

Sometimes this happens. Children who have been proned to having horrible experiences before they were adopted sometimes take longer to get used to having a family that loves them. I think she is just angry and upset because the first adoption went so well and this one has not. Not everything is perfect in life and she should know that with not being able to have children of her own. Why should would be disappointed is understandable. i personally believe adoption is better than anything out ther.e Ithink people put to much stock in invitro and other possibilities. I don't believe in abortion and I think she should really just give it time. She should understand that not every adoption is going to be the perfect adoption

everyone is entitled to have their own opinions but i personally am ready to provide for an orphan child but i cannot bring him\her up as my own.

I am for adoptions. When an infant's mother cannot take care of her or him because she is too young or no one will help, adoption puts that infant with a couple who are unable to have their own birth children. But there are some who believe a woman becomes infertile or does things that will result in infertility because inside she does not have the mother gene and so God made her infertile or caused her to act to become infertile because of that. I would say that the reason is that the mother was not given the proper instruction or told where to get help for her second child so she is overwhelmed and that the orphanage did not tell her of the problems, they just assumed. Most people have inherited problems or conditions and can deal with that, but if there is a problem that never was in their family, it is hard to deal with. For instance, I can deal with diabetes, heart conditions, high blood pressure and strokes because it is either in my husband's or my own family, but if a baby was mentally retarded, I would need help. What you should do is not to get angry but find out if there are any institutions or child care facilities that will help her with her second child. I do think the service that got her the child told her of the problems.

Poor little girl!She needs a total loving care.I thought she was lucky when someone adopted her but the way your friend think about her made me feel mad also.I am a mother and i have a daughter too.I love her very much and even i am not related to that child i feel for her.I wish she will be given so much care and attention because i know she needs more of that.We never know what had happened in her past.She might be traumatized about something or whatever bad happened.

there are quite a lot people who like, no , love gossip. they never handle their own business well. please tell your friend that some children utter later than others but it doesn't mean they are slower or stupider. on the countrary, sometimes such kids are genius, remeber Einstain? many famouse people showed slow reaction in their childrood.

I can see you saying that you are against adoption for your colleague and I know that there are many people out there that do not treat there adopted children as they would there own but there are good people out there that would love any child regardless of there inability. It is just to sad that the little girl you speak of has to endure that type of criticism .

Its fine to adopt if you are ready to take care someone who is not your own blood and take a responsibility like a true parents to them.

Adoption is a great way for orphaned children to gain families and for people who cna't have children naturally to share their lives with someone who needs them. I think a problem with the system is the screening process. It seems that during this process there is more concern over whether the person wanting to adopt is single or married, or makes enough money etc. and not enough concern over the personality characteristics of the people. I think that it's unfair that someone who would love a child unconditionally and be able to provide for them, just not luxiouriously provide for them maight get rejected because they don't make enough money or are single, while some people who meet the basic requirements and are able to adopt won't love the child unconditionally and want to pick out someone who is perfect by thier stnadards. An adoptive parent should be able to love their child unconditionally as if they were thier birht parent. You shouldn't be against adoptions, but agianst the sdoption process and the screening methods.

I would have to say that when you adopt a baby you have to be prepared for anything. Especially when it is a child from another country. I think that adoption can be a good thing provided that the people that are adopting are prepared for anything. I know a couple that adopted a little boy and they had fully known that the mother had drank throughout the pregnancy. So they have been prepared to deal with all of the kids problems.

It seems to me you are not against adoptions, but against people who aren't prepared to take the consequences. A child born to this couple that you mention, could have had the same problems. Adoption is not the issue. When we undertake the huge task of raising children we take on the chances of all sorts of problems. Granted, children raised in orphanages may have huge issues, but the adoptive parents should be aware of that chance and decide if they are up to it, should it arise. I have 2 adopted children that turned out find, although they were not without problems, either. What child is not? Parenting is a huge task that should not be taken lightly or abandoned just because it gets rough. As for your friend, she needs some counseling to handle her own issues. She is damaging this child more than she knows, by exhibiting this attitude. If it is so serious that she won't rise to the challenge, maybe she will have to let the state find someone who will.

Lot of story about adaption, but because lot of people got a good heart & they are not blessed to have child, so they go for adaption, like my aunt she been merried for how many years they are not so lucky to have child they wish even just one, but still the same but when they go for adaption they take one bot his so cute adorable he need love to mom & dad, but in this till his still good to them & my aunt have thier own child they are four now with that boy but he stand & treat each other like real brother & sister. so in my side im not agaist as long they are safe & got a real love of the family.

Adoption is a great opportunity, ronaldinu, for people who desperately want children yet are unable to conceive naturally. I do have a problem with those who adopt for the wrong reasons, but there are so many children in need of someone to love and care for them that I can even overlook this. I believe that some of the wealthy celebrities who are so much in the news for adopting foreign babies should look closer to home rather than going abroad in search of babies so frequently. As far as development goes, children do not progress at the same rate. Perhaps the child in question has not yet spoken simply because they have nothing to say. Children should be viewed as individuals, not compared to other children so much.

I think adoption is okay especially for couples who cannot conceive a child and for orphans to be given the right to have a family. I'm so sorry to hear about your colleague. I think she doesn't even have the right to be a mother. If she can't love a child for what the child is, then she's no right to be a mother. Yes, it could be a setback for them but belittling an innocent child is absurd. Instead, she should be helping the child develop by helping her in any way she could like speech therapies and so on. I guess if she had children of their own with the same situation, she'd also belittle the other one. Having a child is not just plainly having a child whether biological or adopted. What matters is the love parents share to and with their children. I hope she changes. Maybe she's in a stage of denial at this point, causing this behavior. Once she's learned to accept, maybe she'd help the child develop well.

I believe she's having a hard time with the 2nd one because she's a slow learner. Maybe God has reasons why He gave this little angel to her. Maybe He want her to learn more patient and be more caring. I believe there are a lot of works to be done if you will adopt. Adoption is a way of reaching or helping out other peoples lives. If I will not going to have my own children then I will adopt but first I need to know the background or history of the baby. I will give all my love and I will do everything to make that baby a good and responsible citizen.

Since my husband was adopted at birth I am all for it. I feel that every child has the right to have parents who love them regardless if they were conceived or adopted. Anyone can be a mother or a father, but it takes special people to be mommies and daddies. This was a phrase that my late mother in law had always said to her two sons (they were both adopted). I feel that your friend should love both children equally and find a way to help the second child. Take the child to a psychologist and find out what the problem is. Once diagnosed the psychologist should be able to give solutions to the problem. I work with children with special needs and I love it. I am a paraprofessional and help students who are having difficulties learning. Everyone has the right to an education.