Miscarriage

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Having become pregnant at 20 with my boyfriend of then 2 yrs, we went through a rollercoaster of emotions and troubles. It had come as a complete shock and at first there was some tension between us as we struggled to come to terms with what lay ahead. Any young couple who become pregnant by accident are lying if they say the thought of abortion never came into their head, and we did talk about it, briefly. We quickly realised that we couldn't do anything other than give life to this child and do our best for it and so the tension eased and we started making plans. All the while, we did not tell our parents as we knew it would be difficult for them, we had decided to wait until after christmas so as not to spoil the holiday. At that stage I would have been 3 months. With a clear plan we relaxed and my boyfriend attended doctor appointments with me, and at what the doctor was telling me was the 8-10th week, we went expecting to hear a heart beat. However, she was unable to find it and we left a little confused, questioning whether I was pregnant at all as even though I had been feeling sick in the early weeks, for the few days prior, I had felt fine. The following morning, to settle ourselves, I did another test and as before, it was positive, so once again we relaxed. But it didnt last long, literally the following morning, sunday 2nd December, I had an aching in my back and thighs and a light spotting of blood. My boyf tried to assure me I was fine, but I knew what was happening, and so knowing I couldnt stop it, I waited for it to happen. The bleeding stopped and we went out for the afternoon, but before I left his house to go home to my own, I went to the bathroom and it happened. I sat there sobbing as I lost my baby for almost an hour untill my boyfriends parents went out and he came to check on me. I was hysterical as he rushed me to hospital. I had several internal scans, and was left in a bed to allow the process to finish. It was now I had to call my parents to say i wouldn't be home. They took it incredibly hard, that I had not told them and had not 'sorted it out'. My boyfs parents took it very well, and his mother visited me the following morning. However, my own mother did not arrive untill the afternoon, with nothing constructive to say, I asked her to leave. In the following two days, she did not return. It was my boyf's mother who brought me a wash bag and clothes. After 3 days and a DNC, my mother picked me up to take me home, fighting with me in the car and at home. I spent that night at home, but the atmosphere was horrendous so my boyf picked me up and I stayed with him for 3 nights. On the sunday night, a week after the miscarriage, I returned to my own house as I had work the following morning. I was greated by an irrate father who kicked me out. So I returned to my boyfriends house, and have stayed there ever since... It has been almost a year and to this day, my parents have never spoken to me about what happened or asked me to come home. Apart from having to deal with losing a baby, losing my parents as well was incredibly hard to get over, and I still am not fully at peace with it, they adandoned me when I needed the most, literally. I go home at least once a week to visit my mother and younger brothers, the youngest being 7 who simply doesnt understand why I dont live there anymore. Its hard, but I am a stonger, happier person now. This may not be of any interest to anyone here, but I cant explain how writin this has helped me, its like a release. My heart goes out anyone who has ever found themselves in this situation, coping with an unplanned pregnancy, unsupporting parents or any other hardship.