I feel yucky! Hubby has his surgery, now I feel terrible! Help!

It was my husband who had the hemorrhoids, not me. I use as much as I can in the way of homeopathic medicine. My husband doesn't really believe in it, though. I'll sneak it in on him whenever I can, but... He's much better today and so am I! I pampered myself yesterday as much as I could and it really helped a lot. Hubby slept most of the day but, when he was awake, he felt so bad that I was feeling so bad. He knew that my pain was mostly caused by what he's been going through, so he started to move around a bit last night and do little things for himself. He even did a few things for me! What a turnaround!!! The doctor said he'd have two or three days where he wouldn't be a happy camper, but after that, he should be feeling much better, then after a week he should be as good as new! It's day 2 now and he's still hurting pretty badly, but he's feeling 50% better than he did yesterday. With his feeling better, I'm feeling better. I'm so glad it's over and 'behind' us! (Pun intended. LOL)

I didn't mean to offend you. I'm sure your husband is great. Mine is fantastic and a hard worker too and so are most men I know, but anytime anybody gets sick, including men, they turn into babies. At least in my part of the world they do. I work in a hospital and if you could hear the stories I hear about men getting sick, it would be almost laughable. I really do wish a speedy recovery for your husband and I hope you get to feeling better too. I apologize if I offended you.

Too bad I can't copy and paste.It would make it alot easier to answer replies. I was thinking Diane was the original poster...sorry for the mistake........grrrrrr

I think I have to agree with Wyldrose on this one - by all means there are certainly men who are hardy and uncomplaining, but there are a hell of a lot of them that are major hypochondriacs. My dad is a prime example - he is forever taking time off work with "man flu". Me and my mum, on the other hand, just tend to get on with things if we feel a bit rough.

I was going to reply and say that I too suffer from IBS and yes stress don't trigger the system's but dragon has beaten me to it ... Hope you hubby and yourself both start to feel better very soon!

Opps Sorry typo that don't should be a does....

Thanks to both of you. We're both feeling better today. He's been getting up and moving around a bit more as time goes by. He's being a good boy and doing what the doctor said, so he should be as good as new by next Thursday. I did pamper myself last night. I took it easy all day, fixed a very easy lunch of soup and sandwiches, which we both ate, then a simple dinner. Then, I soaked in the tub with vanilla-lavender bubbles. Ahhhh, that felt good!

Thank you, raclie! We're both doing better today. I did all I could to reduce the stress level and it really helped a lot! I took a nice, long bubble bath with lavender-vanilla scented bubbles last night and yesterday I worked with my plants. That always helps me to feel better. I got a lot of rest, too. He is getting out of bed more today than he was yesterday and I know that will make him feel better sooner, too. So, we're on the road to recovery. I just had a flare of my fibromyalgia and IBS, but it's getting better now. Thanks so much for your concern. It's people like you who make coming to myLot so enjoyable!

well, at least your better... hope he is ok, and you have to take good care of yourself ok? thats is a good way to relax!!! heard that lavander is really good for relaxation purposes, so you did it!!!

Thank you so much, sudalunts. We're both feeling much better today. I'd say I'm feeling better than he is, but we're both doing better. It apparently was just the stress of the past two months that made my symptoms flare like they did yesterday. I have fibromyalgia with IBS and both were flaring pretty badly yesterday... worse than ever before. I've had smaller flares, but I really haven't gone through anything quite like this before, either. Usually, it's ME in the hospital, not my hubby! But, we're both doing better today. I did a lot of pampering myself yesterday and it really helped to bring down my stress level. He's still in a lot of pain because, well, that particular surgery IS very painful, but he's doing so much better today than he was yesterday! I'm sure that we'll both be fine in a day or so. I'll just continue to use all of my "destressing" strategies on myself. Hubby is doing more for himself, so that helps a lot, too. Thanks again for your concern.

Thanks, commander! I checked it out and it really IS an awesome site! I've created a shortcut for my desktop so I can check things out whenever I need to without trying to remember the site's name. (Oh, what I wouldn't give for my 20-year-old brain again!) I'm feeling better today, thanks. I think it helped to turn the heat on last night. It got down to 45 degrees in the wee hours of the morning, so I prepared by setting the thermostate to 'heat' in case it got cold in the house. It did, the heat came one, and I woke up stiff but without much pain. My IBS is also calming down. Hubby should be feeling much better by tomorrow, too. He's doing a little better today. The doc said it would take two or three days before he felt like doing much at all, so we're at least halfway there!

Oops, "...the heat came ON..." not "one". Sorry.

That's great. I'm glad the two of you are feeling a little better. Yeah, that really is quite the website, isn't it. I came across it by accident. (Gee, that sounds funny...came across by accident!) It's helped me out loads of times. Also, don't feel too bad...just like in Winchester Virginia, temperatures dropped last night here in Toronto as well. I haven't turned on the heat yet, but my nose belives I should. Stay safe you two. Get plenty of rest. And just think...how often do the two of you get to spend this much time in bed together? :-) Cheers; cdrxo

Yep, it was stress, pure and simple. I just needed time to release it. I'm feeling much better today! So is he! The surgeon said my husband had a deep fissure along with the hemorrhoids, so he took care of everything. That's what was causing such intense pain. I'm sooooo glad he FINALLY had the surgery. He said he's feeling better than he was before the surgery, even though he got quite a few stitches because of the fissure. We're both doing much better today.

Hahaha! I had to laugh at your last statement because, years ago, my mother gave me a framed picture with that quote in it. I was going through so much negative stuff in my life at that time and her giving that to me made me stop and smile. I feel MUCH better today. I pampered myself yesterday. I took a vanilla-lavender scented bubble bath last night. It felt sooooooo good! Also, I fully agree with your philosophy of "getting your hands dirty". I have always gotten strength from gardening... always! No gloves. Getting right down into it and not caring about how dirty I got. I lost a lawsuit once because of a really bad lawyer. (I had hit a truck and ended up in the hospital because I had no brakes TWO MONTHS after getting my brakes fixed!!! Legitimate lawsuit, I thought.) The lawyer was so incompetent that he actually froze before the judge! I was so angry that, when it was over, I stomped out of the courthouse, went home, slammed some doors and screamed a lot, then went out to a plant nursery and bought about six large bushes. I planted them all outside that day, ending after it was dark, BUT I felt soooo much better afterwards! When I was going through my last bad marriage and didn't really have much gardening to do, I could often be found sitting in the grass pulling out clover. LOL I know it looked funny, but I didn't care. A neighbor was driving by once, stopped and gave me that "what in the world are you doing?" look. I answered him with one word: "Therapy." He knew what I was talking about because he knew my then-husband and understood. I actually did that yesterday. I didn't buy new bushes or pick clover out of the grass, but I worked in the dirt. My knees hurt so bad that I couldn't go down the steps on the deck, but I have plenty of plants and things on the deck, so I worked on them. I gave hubby a little bell to ring if he needed me so I'd hear him, then went out on the deck and enjoyed myself by working on the plants, repotting, starting some cuttings for rooting, etc. for about an hour. It really helped a lot! If I lived in a high-rise apartment, I'd probably shrivel up and die. I need the dirt. It gives me life. In the winter, I tend to my 50+ plants inside and plan next Spring's garden. Guess I should get moving along now because this response is getting awfully long! LOL Got some plants to get into the ground! Take care!

Thank you, Hatley. It most definitely was the stress I was under. I used some of my relaxation techniques yesterday and feel so much better today! I took frequent naps yesterday, worked in my garden a little, and took a nice, leisurely bubble bath last night. I feel 75% better today! It helps that my husband is feeling better today as well. He feels bad that his problem caused most of my pain and feeling ill, so he got himself up and started doing more for himself. That, in turn, helped him to feel better. Neither of us is 100% yet, but we're getting closer. I'll still pamper myself today as much as I can because I don't want to get even sicker, especially with the changing weather we're having. But, I think I'm over the worst of it. Donnatol sounds so familiar to me! I believe I was given that once, myself. If I'm not mistaken, it had opium in it. That made me sleepy, too, and made me float right over to the bed! LOL It definitely worked on getting rid of the cramps! I wonder why my doctor hasn't recommended it recently. Maybe it's BECAUSE it has opium in it. I don't have a clue. I have a prescription called Lomotil that I take when the cramps and diarrhea hit. It works really fast and really well. I didn't take it yesterday because I don't have diarrhea... not yet, anyway. But, I'm feeling a lot better today so, hopefully, the worst is over. We're on the road to recovery... well, as much as possible.

Egads! I just looked up Lomotil and this is what I found: "Lomotil contains an opium derivative diphenoxylate and atropine..." No WONDER it works so well!

I'm glad you are feeling some better now. I really do believe men are way too stubborn about going to the doctor. Waiting until the last minute is what gets so many of them in trouble.

Thanks so much, sunnflr. Yes, it was my fibromyalgia and IBS flaring because of the stress. It just took such a huge leap in the 'pain-o-meter' yesterday! I think it was because I had time to sit down and stop worrying. It made me actually FEEL the pain because before that I was so busy worrying about my hubby. I worked with my plants and took a nice, long bubble bath last night. I watched some comedies on TV. It helped tremendously! I feel about 75% better today! I guess I just had to unwind from two months of listening to my husband complaining, putting off appointments, complaining some more, not listening to me, complaining even more, then, of course, his surgery FINALLY happening! I really don't have anyone I can talk to or lean on for support in times like this except for my wonderful friends here at myLot. I'm so thankful that I have this place to come to and 'hang my hat'. Thank you so much for being one of the wonderful people here! You and others like you feel like 'family' to me, and I truly appreciate you all.

He sounds like my husband. He's had these for years, too. He claimed they were only bad for around one week every year, but I think they hurt him more than he admitted because he didn't want the surgery, either. He actually took 2 months before he saw the surgeon. He postponed his appointment with the surgeon once and I told him I'd clobber him if he postponed it again. So, he went. It turned out that he also had a deep fissure as well as the hemorrhoids (3 of them). The surgeon fixed everything, so now hubby is on the road to recovery! Yippee!!!!! With him feeling better, so am I. He told me last night that, even having surgery and getting stitches on the outside because of the fissure, he still feels better than he did before the surgery. I feel much better today myself. The stress is over. Whew!!!