What is Forgiveness?

If you don't forget, what form does your forgiveness take? How do you express it to the person who had wronged you? I'm not sure but I think forgiveness is more complicated than a one step process. I'm also beginning to think that it involves a lot more than the wronged person doing all the work. I think the offender has to do something for forgiveness to really happen. But that's just me.

How does that affect you though? Holding grudges can hurt us far more than any revenge we can get on the other person. Trust me, forgiveness is hard. Especially, when you aren't sure what it is. I've been told by many people that you have to go back to the starting point of the relationship before the hurt. But once you know what someone is capable of, how can you do something like that? They broke something and the answer is to ignore it? But the reverse can be just as damaging. If you hang onto the negative emotions, they can eat you up. On a separate note, how has getting revenge made you feel in the long run? No judgment, just a question. I've never actively done it, I'm curious.

Thank you so much for your congratulations. Forgiveness means not holding something against someone, but what if their offense was a betrayal of trust. How do you trust someone who unrepentant about breaking that trust? How do you move forward from there? Can you forgive someone and break ties because of what they have done? Is that not actually forgiveness but holding a grudge? I feel that you can forgive someone in your heart, express that forgiveness to them, but you may not be able to continue the relationship because what they have done is sever something vital to the relationship. Especially, if the other person has no desire to make amends. Is making amends part of the forgiveness process? Even God requires that we be remorseful prior to forgiveness. It isn't sin and you are forgiven, you have to seek that forgiveness, acknowledge that what you did was wrong in the first place. If you feel it was right, why be forgiven?

We are not God, we are humans. We can only forgive up to a certain point. Example: A child that is sexually molested by a parent or a student by a teacher or an altar boy by a priest. The ramifications of such actions may never be repaired in this world. Even decades later the ramifications may resurface. The damage may never be totally undone. If later the parent, teacher, or priest, realizes the mistake and asks for forgiveness, the child may forgive, but the relationship can never be as if such actions never happened, in this world. Can trust be ever be rebuilt in this world? Forgiveness up to a certain point, yes. Forgetting, never! I don't know if it is even wise to forget. It may lower the barrier so that they become victims again. Asking for forgiveness may not necessarily be a long-term commitment. Some ask for forgiveness not because they are truly repentant but because they have been caught and later repeat the hideous crime.