When is Soon?

i agree with james people respond by your behaviour i'm often late but am open and honest about it as a result i ask my friends to tell me to be places half an hour earlier than i should be so that i'm on time. I give alot of leeway with friends and family and am not obsessive about time but if i'm going to see a friend who is i make an extra effort to be on time and if i'm running late i will ring to explain and keep them updated. You should make them aware that it irritates you and if they still don't change do as james suggested leave after 30 minutes let them know you have things to do!

mmm i do know what you mean about that i am also an organiser and tend to get left to do it which i don't mind. I organised a friends hen do and one particular girl changed her mind a couple of days before saying she'd misunderstood where the venue was (thinking it was local it wasn't) so i sold her ticket and rearranged the lifts (some people had offered to drive to cut costs). She then phones me the day of the do to say she can now come. So i rang to have a ticket left at the door, managed to do that and was happy. She then decided she also needed the lift again so again i moved everyone about to get her in her previous place. Tells her the time to be at the meeting place to get picked up she can't be ready for then so she decides she'll catch the train. So i ring the girls again aplogising shifting people around back to before. By this time i have about an hour to get ready so i do we get ther no probs and just as i get into the venue she rings me saying shes at the train station where am i, at the venue i reply whose going to meet me?, it's 10 mins away catch a taxi i have 30 other people to sort out. She finally arrives and rings me to come to the door as she doesn't want to come in on her own, has a face on because it's 6 to a table and she has to sit on a table where she only knows the bride. Then at the end of the night whinges that sh isn't ready to go home at 12 when her lift was going home. Plus some of the younger girls were going into town and she wanted to go to. I suggested she stay and catch a taxi or the train (they were in a minibus) she didn't want to do that it would be expensive. Exasperated i decided to not make a scene there and then but did give her a piece of my mind the next time i saw her apparently i was being totally unreasonable and she has since not contacted me. Sorry i bored you with all that just wanted to prove i definately knew how you felt with that.

Believe me, guys, they would know if I'm upset. Sometimes it does ruin the whole point of the plan which is to go out and have a good time with each other. You really can't have so much fun if you're already annoyed and the other person knows you're annoyed at him/her. And what gets me is that this person gets annoyed that I get annoyed and impatient while she makes me wait. I've taken charge and doing so always make me end up the "party pooper".

ahh yeh me too my mouths watering

Thank you grandpa_lash for sharing this story. Now, I know what to expect if I ever have someone teach me how to properly grill. If someone asked you the same question, would you answer the same way as the lecturer? You're now making me want steak!

hi friend, i sent it already. happy mylotting.... miss you and take care...

Hello Shiloh. Wondering and wondering is not a good thing. I don't know if you already sent out the email but I haven't gotten it yet. Take care!

I got it, thanks!

Thanks Anne for the best response!

Thank you shamikabsb... nicely said because you agreed with me! I can deal with "soon" in, at most, an hour, but I don't want to deal with the worst-case scenario unless something happened that one really can't control.

thank you very kind of you to say i think i've bored you enough now though so i'll shut up lol

You get major points today for participation in this discussion, mands! I've thought about purposely having this person wait for me but I just can't. I mostly believe in "act what you preach" and if I want others to be there on time, then I, myself, should be there on time too. And if they're late, then they at least should give us enough time to know so we wouldn't be there just sitting idly wondering when they'll come.

This is a discussion, mands, so you can say whatever you want and as long as you want to. I'm sorry that you had to take care of that indecisive and whining guest. I guess it's a good thing that she no longer contacts you? Thanks again, mands.

I meant, if you tell me "soon", you'd better add something like this: "....soon, I'm waiting for..., it should be...oclock, but might be delay, I can't tell for the moment". In this case, I'd accept this "soon" and wait you. If you say, "soon". Full stop. I'd Full Stop with you too.

Perfect. Thanks for the clarification, jfx. Now I get it.

Did you mean detailed information of certainty or did you mean uncertainty? Because I would appreciate an answer with detailed information, rather than an uncertain "soon". Thanks for responding, jfx...

Reading your post reminded me of someone else's discussion about how she had to wait a long time (and even come back) to have her ultrasound done. I guess it's part of your profession to tell people "shortly", after all, surgical procedures don't always stick to a specific schedule. Take care, mimpi.

USG and other non-invasive tests are okay. They can be done in proper time as per schedule but you ever know about a surgery! Thanks Sisi.

I have tried to be more specific, drannhh. Sometimes it works, most times it doesn't. But I will remember to stick to this concrete language all the time now. If they tell me, they're not sure then I'll do my own thing. I really haven't noticed how teenager-like those conversations are. Now that you've mentioned it, maybe that's another thing that bothers me with this whole time deal. We're all adults but we still act like kids. Thank you!

Underdog, I would definitely go ballistic if someone tells me they're coming that day and then forget to come at the end of the day. It is a good thing that you now know what to do when it comes to spending time or waiting for this friend. Thanks for responding!

I will try to remember not to ask you, zig. Lol.

Thanks kissie for sharing with us your thoughts on this matter. As I've commented in previous posts, I don't mind the answer "soon" just as long as someone gives me at least a time frame. But if someone doesn't really know when they're coming or doing something, then at least just let me know to not expect such to be happening anytime soon. Take care!

Thanks ShellyB for giving us one of the reasons why we say "soon". Take care!

I hope you've calmed down by now, Opal, as I have. I don't mind the word "soon" but like some of the posters here say, it should be followed with at least a time frame, if one can't commit to a specific time/date. I'm sure who ever came up with that word may have passed on by now and murder isn't the only answer. We do share a lot in common, Opal. But I'm a Capricorn. Do Capricorns and Libras see eye-to-eye most of the time?

I just did some "research" online and it says that a boy-girl relationship between a Capricorn and a Libra would not work. Very incompatible. But I haven't checked on the friendship compatibility just yet.

Well, annamcarra, if the free spirits that you're describing could unbend just a little and think of the others that wait for them, then, we the rigid ones, wouldn't be as stressed out and we can enjoy life a little bit more. I have nothing against free spirits. I don't adhere to schedules all the time but I think there should at least be a compromise. If one knows that he/she can't accomplish the task at hand at a given time, then one should be honest and let the others know. Thanks for sharing, annamcarra!

I like how you explain "soon", Bluepatch. Thanks!

I do, bubblyapple. That is why I get more annoyed when they keep on telling me soon. Thanks for responding.

Thanks cowboy. I guess we have to follow James and Mands' advice to take charge and not take "soon" for an answer.

Well, I hope they find out how long it'll take them, um, soon. Thanks Rabbit for responding.

I like good surprises too, mapuang. I've noticed that when we do something on the fly, everything happens right away but if we make plans, then that's when the waiting game begins. Thanks for responding.