When to let your significant other deal with your kids?
By Simplyme31
@Simplyme31 (240)
United States
September 22, 2008 9:17am CST
At what point in a relationship is it ok to let your significant other deal with and discipline your children?
I know with me I have 2 kids by my boyfriend and they are my youngest (9 months) and my oldest (13 years) and then I have two in the middle (9 & 10) who are not his. When we got back together it took me nearly a year before I allowed him to take a major role in disciplining the kids (even our oldest).
1 person likes this
2 responses
@wildspirit722 (179)
• United States
22 Sep 08
Good subject. My husband isn't my children's father, but he loves them just as much if not more. It is hard to let him repremand my children because I have a system and it has worked well all my life with them. They are fabulous kids and I wouldn't want them any different than they are. They turned out so great. I'm very proud of them. There are times that I don't feel like dealing with a certain situation or two with my 16 year old daughter and allow him to take over. Only when I know what ever he does in this circumstance, won't harm them. I trust his thoughts about things. I just think he goes about it a little too strict for my liking. He's very old school. Never would hurt them physically. He's not like that or anything. He's very kind. Just strict. Like if my daughter and her boyfriend sit on her bed together watching TV, he has a fit. I trust them both. There is no other place to go in this apt. It is a two story with 3 bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs and a small living room and a dining room and a kitchen downstairs. When we're watching TV downstairs, I let them sit upstairs with the door open and play on the computer or watch tv. There's nothing wrong with that in this particular situation. I know my parents would have never let me do that, but I'm watching them constantly, well almost. They can't possibly do anything bad. He is old school like that. It's a good thing, but sometimes I like to be a little more trusting than my parents were. I can cuz they are good kids. If I had any reason not to trust them then I wouldn't allow certain things that I do. But he can intervene when I don't feel like it and i feel it won't hurt.
1 person likes this
@Simplyme31 (240)
• United States
22 Sep 08
My old man is the same. I do not mind him disciplining my children he seems to be the only one they want to listen to these days. However, sometimes he is just so strict that it is really hard not to step in and play the "I'm the biological parent" role (which I know is a horrible thing to do). It is great though to see how some of these guys can come in and love these kids regardless of the blood relation.
1 person likes this
@wildspirit722 (179)
• United States
22 Sep 08
I know, I feel very fortunate that hes that great of a guy. Yours too I assume. So it looks like you have the same situation. I really like the fact that he can be that strict when I'm not because it's a great balance don't you think? Makes well rounded children. Good luck with everything and safety and good health to you and your family!!!!! Carrie
1 person likes this
@Simplyme31 (240)
• United States
23 Sep 08
Definitely makes a great balance and tends to get the job done with less hassle too. My kids will listen to me but it takes 4, 5 and 6 times telling them. He says it once and it is done and that is that.
1 person likes this
@belk89 (1103)
• Philippines
22 Sep 08
It depends on the parent at what time he/she is ready to let his/her partner discipline the kids. Sometimes its pretty hard for you to just let somebody who is not related to your kids by blood discipline them since there are some cases where they actually abuse authority and hurt the kids physically. So it will takes time before you started to trust somebody when it comes to teaching them how to behave and become a well mannered children.
