Different treatment for misbehaving kids?
By Simplyme31
@Simplyme31 (240)
United States
September 22, 2008 12:08pm CST
Is it ok for teachers and faculty to treat kids differently just because they are considered disruptive or have been labeled bad kids? I mean in ways such as not allowing bathroom breaks to one kid yet allowing someone else to go, or not dealing with harassment issues suffered by the kid labeled as "bad" or disruptive?
My Story:
My daughter is just 9 years old and is a disruptive child. She just can not seem to be quiet during class ever. The other day at school a little boy touched her chest (where he shouldn't) and commented "Nice bra". This occurred at recess right when the bell rang and she lined up and told her teacher upon entering the classroom. Her teacher informed her that she should have notified the recess teacher and there was nothing she could do about it. Well, I am not a dumb person and know she could have written a report, sent her to the principles or counselors office to let them know etc. Taking into consideration that my daughter was se@ually harassed by kids in a previous school which left her very sensitive to this type of behavior. Maybe I am over - reacting but I can not help thinking if she was better in the classroom and liked more that this would not be the way this worked out. What do you think?
1 response
@BubblyIan (750)
•
22 Sep 08
The issue is whether a child is likely to make a false allegation or not and whether she should be believed.
According to statistics in UK classrooms, around 95% of allegations by kids against their teachers are subsequently poroven to be false.
That is not to say that your daughte ris necessarily making it u, but you should be aware of the possibility.
Since children are likely to repeat behaviour that they found produced the intended result, it could be that your daughter has learned that making these sort of comments, true or otherwise, may mean she can keep missing school or changing schoools or whatever.
I think you may need to consider counselling for her.
I think you may need to try and devote more one-to-one time to her and find out why dshe is so disruptive. If you can find the cause then you might find that her allegations also stop.
As to the basic question - no of course children should be treated the same. However, it is common for boys to be punished far worse than girls for the same misdemeanour. It is likely that a troublemaker will stand out more than a quiet child as the teacher is more likely to notice them. When the troublemaker claims to be a victim simple pejudice is likely to treat them less favourably. They would need more evidence than a quiet kid to get a response.
Remember the phrase ' crying wolf'.
I hope that nothing really happened to your daughter, but maybe you will never find the truth.
1 person likes this
@Simplyme31 (240)
• United States
23 Sep 08
Well in the past school situation it had to involve the authorities because it was that bad and had taken place on the school bus and this time with the inappropriate touching I have already talked to the teacher personally and she told me the same thing that there is nothing that she can do about it. Readily admitting that the "said boy" has done this in the past. So since I was not out on the playground with them I could not say for sure one way or the other but I tend to believe my daughter she is disruptive in class but she has never told tales on other kids (especially of this nature) and she had no previous knowledge of this boy before this month so could not have known really about his past school record.
I agree though that there is something to be said about confirming the situation before accusing a child/person which is probably what irritates me the most because no one has even attempted to talk to this kid. He may only be 10 now but not too long comes 12- 16 etc and if he is acting this way they need to call him out on it before it becomes habitual.
I think the school needs to be proactive in dealing with the issues that take place at school otherwise you leave it up to the parents and that can get dirty especially with some of the parents in this neighborhood. And it leaves the children who end up "victims" (for lack of a better word) feeling like it is acceptable and they need to just "deal" with it.
@BubblyIan (750)
•
23 Sep 08
It sounds like you have a number of options depending on how strongly you feel about it and how badly your daughter is being affected.
1) Change schools
2) Try to get the school to change classes so the two do not come into contact
3) Make an official complaint through the bullying procedure at the school
4) Approach the Head teacher and make a specific appointment to discuss this
5) Involve an external authority - in the UK it would be Social Services.
My limited experience of issues like this is that the school and authorities want to 'push this under the carpet' and pretend it does not happen. If it was an adult rather than another child the authorities would be down on him/her like a ton of bricks.
Best of luck
1 person likes this
@Simplyme31 (240)
• United States
23 Sep 08
Those are some great suggestions. I have been so irritated that they simply had not crossed my mind. And as for your "push it under the carpet" comment you are right on. The last school got confirmation from the 3 boys on what they did to my daughter and then had the audacity to call me and tell me their version of what happened to my daughter was "worse" than her story. And what do you think happened? Nothing. They would not do anything, Child protective services wouldn't get involved, the police took a report but said there was nothing that they could do either. It has just been a horrendous experience with these schools.
